On Being a Good Wife

I have noted throughout the years that when visiting other women or being with them when their cell phones ring, that too often I can guess if the person calling is their husband. I would like to say it is because their voice softens, and a smile appears on their face. But no, it’s because their face hardens and tenses, and their voice gets strained and argumentative. Huh?! I’m not talking about women who are ungodly and worldly in their thinking and their lives. At least they claim otherwise. And if you ask them, they would affirm that they love their husbands.

These are women who claim they are putting God first in their lives. They claim Christ as their savior and with their lips give appreciation for His sacrifice.

But their actions speak volumes in opposition to their stated beliefs. The very way they answer a phone when they know it’s ‘only their husband’ tells Christ that they don’t appreciate His sacrifice and will not do what He says to do.

We have all read and heard repeatedly the scripture:

Luk 6:46 And why call ye me, Lord, Lord, and do not the things which I say?

Well, just what DOES God say as far as how women treat their husbands?

1Pe 3:8 Finally, be ye [husbands and wives] all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous:
1Pe 3:9 Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing.
1Pe 3:10 For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile:
1Pe 3:11 Let him eschew evil, and do good; let him seek peace, and ensue it.

Okay, okay, I can hear the excuses right now. “My husband is so hard to live with; my husband is selfish and inconsiderate; my husband is not even a believer and hassles me about my beliefs;” ad nauseam. So?

If YOU are a believer, it behooves you to act like one – especially to the one with whom you have promised before God to spend the rest of your life. And even if he is prone to ‘rail’ at you, the scripture we read just said not to ‘render railing for railing.’ Just because he nags, doesn’t give you license to nag. We are not judged well by how our mates goad us into reacting badly. We are judged well by NOT reacting badly; in this case rendering evil for evil, railing for railing. How much more should one refrain the tongue from evil when dealing with husbands?

While we are discussing the subject of conversation, let’s look at that little word ‘guile’ in verse 10. According to the Strong’s Concordance it is from the Greek dolos and means decoy, trick, wile. Ask yourself are you guilty of using ‘feminine wiles’ to get your way in matters you know would not please your husband? Do you buy things you know the family can’t really afford right now and hide the action? Do you prevaricate (my, it does sound better than LIE doesn’t it!) when asked if you have done a request he has made of you? Do you lead your husband to believe you have put in a productive day when much of it has been spent on the phone gossiping with girlfriends or watching TV? Or do you just feign tiredness?
Search your hearts, for God surely is.

1Ch 28:9 … for the LORD searcheth all hearts, and understandeth all the imaginations of the thoughts:…

Psa 44:21 Shall not God search this out? for he knoweth the secrets of the heart.

Some husbands’ favorite scripture is Eph 5:22 – “Wives, submit yourselves unto your husbands as unto the Lord …” Granted some of them seem like they are ‘rubbing in it’ – and let’s face it, some of them are! BUT… that is their problem and they will answer for it. I’m talking to you as a woman. We are judged by how we follow the scriptural admonitions laid out for us even as the men will be judged by their actions.

Most of scripture, especially on a spiritual basis, is aimed at all mankind. But there are specific scriptures pointing toward the role of women while still in the flesh. A large part of living in this flesh is to learn humility.

Pro 31:30 Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.
Pro 31:31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates (of heavenly Jerusalem, hmm?).

Why are we given this marriage arrangement anyway?

Eph 5:30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
Eph 5:31 For this cause (because we are members of His body) shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
Eph 5:32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
Eph 5:33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

So when stress, resentment, tiredness, whatever, makes you want to snap at your husband, or ignore him, ask yourself “would I snap at Jesus Christ like that?”; “would I turn my back on my Savior?” We will find that not only will our spiritual reward be greater in how we endure to the end in all aspects of our lives, but it will make for a happier marriage and a better example set for our children.