Mike;
How does one know God’s will for a specific situation? There are times when I hear an internal voice and others when a feeling is too strong to ignore, or others still when God brings my wife and I to the same conclusion separately. But, what about those times when God appears to be silent? What about the times when there isn’t the clarity we hope for? Isn’t there a Scripture about seeing God’s steps before and after us? For example, as head of my household I am subject to God and I see very clearly that the best, and probably only, way to lead my family is according to the will of God in absolute obedience. With this in mind I truly seek God’s counsel, authority and will above all other things. First off, my reasoning is flawed, and secondly, my wife and family need to believe I’m following God rather than some selfish whim of my own.
Truly, leading the family is easy when we are all in agreement, but what about those times when we aren’t? You and I, as heads of our households, are called to identify the will of God for our families. Our wives, on the other hand, are suppose to trust our judgment. I suppose, based on their observation of our relationship with God and how we conduct ourselves within His written word, at the same time, by seeking the will of God through their own relationship with Him. Presently, God has given me clear direction, but it doesn’t fit nicely with all the plans my wife and I had in mind.
I’m moving forward very carefully, but at the same time I’ve made it clear to my wife that I can’t stop what God has started. I have no desire left in me to fight God. I’ve lost that battle too many times. I admit I don’t have an answer to every question my wife asks, but at the same time she needs to understand God may not give us exactly what we want. His agenda is clearly different than ours. We view our lives from a human point of view, while God most certainly doesn’t.
Anyway, I’m in constant and continuous prayer, seeking the will of God. I understand my wife’s legitimate concerns and know her desires for our given situation. At the same time, what either of us wants isn’t the most important factor. At the end of the day, however, I am still subject to God above all else which leads me back to my original question. How does one know the will of God in any given situation? How do you, personally, identify His will in your own life?
Thank you for your time.
T____

Hi T____,
Thank you for your question.
The answer is that we are not given to know God’s will for every specific situation. If we were, then there would be no trials. That is why we are admonished to say and to pray in this manner:

1Jn 5:14 And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us:
1Co 4:19 But I will come to you shortly, if the Lord will, and will know, not the speech of them which are puffed up, but the power.
Jas 4:14 Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.
Jas 4:15 For that ye ought to say, If the Lord will, we shall live, and do this, or that.
Jas 4:16 But now ye rejoice in your boastings: all such rejoicing is evil.

We are to know Christ and His Father by knowing the Word of God. God’s Word gives us much instruction, and for most of life’s questions the answers are very clear in the Word of God. But for many of life’s trials we simply must call out to our loving heavenly Father for wisdom and for patience. Waiting to see what God is working is what makes the trial a trial.
If indeed we do all we do to please God, then that will soon be made clear to all. If on the other hand we say ‘The Lord told me to do such and such’ as if what we say is to be taken as scripture, when it is not in scripture, we are doing nothing less than “rejoicing in our boastings, [ and] all such rejoicing is evil.”
So we are to read the Word of God and make our decisions based upon that Word. If we truly do all we do to glorify God, then He has promised to give us peace of mind in knowing we are serving Him and not ourselves.

1Co 10:31 Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.
Rom 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to [ his] purpose.

Now, if you put Rom 8:28 together with Eph 1:11,

Eph 1:11 In whom also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestinated according to the purpose of him who worketh all things after the counsel of his own will:

… and you pray your prayers as Christ and John both instruct us to ask for God’s will to be done in our lives;…

Mat 6:10 Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as [ it is] in heaven.
1Jn 5:14 And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us:

If we believe these verses, then we can honestly say that our prayers have never once gone unanswered, and we always receive God’s answer to our prayers, because we truly believe that He is working all things after the counsel of His own will.
I wish I could give you a simple answer to your question that did not require a trial of your faith, but alas, that is not God’s way of teaching us faith and patience:

1Pe 1:6 Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations:
1Pe 1:7 That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:

Temptations are very trying upon us, as both Peter and James demonstrate.

Jas 1:2 My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;
Jas 1:3 Knowing [ this], that the trying of your faith worketh patience.
Jas 1:4 But let patience have [ her] perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.
Jas 1:5 If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all [ men] liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.

But it is through these trying temptations that something is wrought which is “more precious than… gold” and will not perish.
I hope these verses of God’s Word will encourage you both to seek only to know and do the will of our Lord as is revealed in His Word. If that is the desire of your hearts, then God has promised to give you the wisdom you need to face any and every temptation and trial.

Jas 1:5 If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all [ men] liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.

I have faith that He is in the process of doing that for you both. It is God who is even now working this very trial in your lives “after the counsel of His own will”.
You both remain in my prayers.
Your brother in Christ,
Mike