Is It Okay To Attend Church With Family?
Hi Mike: Question for you. I told my husband about five months ago that I would no longer be attending church with him because of the doctrinal differences between our beliefs. However, I am wondering if it is okay to attend church with him and my children. I really miss the family dynamic and the kids really miss me going to church with them. Everything in my life centered around church activities – small groups, mission trips, kids in youth group. Now there is none of that and I really miss it. However, I also don’t want to compromise my beliefs to partake in those activities. Any advice you can give me would be much appreciated.
D____
Hi D____,
Thank you for seeking advice.
Since you have asked me, I am going to be straightforward in answering you.
Look at your own words and let the mind of Christ in you give you the answer that Christ Himself gave us all. Here is Christ’s answer to your dilemma. My prayer for you is that you “have root (Christ) in yourself” enough to withstand the temptation you are now enduring. Here is what Christ is even now telling you concerning your situation which you describe for me in this e- mail.
Mat 10:32 Whosoever therefore shall confess me before men, him will I confess also before my Father which is in heaven.
Mat 10:33 But whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven.
Mat 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Mat 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Mat 10:36 And a man’s foes shall be they of his own household.
Mat 10:37 He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.
Mat 10:38 And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me.
Mat 10:39 He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.
When we go back to the traditions and all the activities of Babylon, simply because we “miss them” we are demonstrating that we are not yet given to withstand the pulls of Babylon upon our flesh. We are demonstrating that we prefer to deny Christ rather than be denied by Babylon.
So the direct answer to your question is that you cannot go back into Babylon and take part in “church activities – small groups, mission trips, kids in youth group[ s]” without denying the Christ who is the Truth who you have come to know. It simply cannot be done, and you still claim that you are willing to “lose your life” for Christ’s sake.
“Losing your life” is a spiritual concept. It has not nearly so much to do with physical death, as it does with the death of your “old man” by giving up a life of spiritual fornication, which will spare you from being separated from your own family and friends. But that is the very reason for which Christ came:
Mat 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Mat 10:36 And a man’s foes shall be they of his own household.
You will not lose your husband, children, or friends if you continue to just fit in with all that Babylon has to offer. It is only by following the example our Lord set for us to follow that will bring about “being hated of all men” which is promised to all who follow Christ:
Mat 10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
Mat 10:22 And ye shall be hated of all men for my name’s sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved.
Again, “death” here is far less concerned with dying physically as it is with being “put to death” spiritually, and “lying dead in the streets of the great city whenin our Lord was crucified”.
Rev 11:7 And when they shall have finished their testimony, the beast that ascendeth out of the bottomless pit shall make war against them, and shall overcome them, and kill them.
Rev 11:8 And their dead bodies shall lie in the street of the great city, which spiritually is called Sodom and Egypt, where also our Lord was crucified.
Once you compromise, the battle is lost. You will never “finish your testimony” because you are more fearful of losing all the comforts of Babylon, than you are with losing the spiritual promises given to those who are willing to “die daily” and to “be crucified with Christ”.
1Co 15:31 I protest by your rejoicing which I have in Christ Jesus our Lord, I die daily.
Gal 2:20 I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.
“I am crucified with Christ, nevertheless I live” is the “death in the streets of that great city”, and the loss of life, spoken of in Mat 10:39 and Rev 11:8.
Your husband and children will never be saved from the second death through you as long as you are unwilling to give them up in this life. If, on the other hand, you are given the strength and the faith to put your love of God above your false ‘love’ of your family, then it just might be our Lord’s will to give them to you.
1Co 7:14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
Here now, is the definition of the true love of God and the true love of our brothers:
1Jn 5:2 By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God, and keep his commandments.
1Jn 5:3 For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous.
The love of your husband, children, friends and brothers in Christ, is never demonstrated by being a part of their “church activities – small groups, mission trips, kids in youth group[ s]”. Your love for them is demonstrated only by your willingness to give all of that up.
Here are your own words:
Now there is none of that and I really miss it.
There would be no trial if you did not “miss it”.
There is a reason why Christ told His disciples that “many are called, but few are chosen”.
Mat 22:14 For many are called, but few are chosen.
How ‘few’ is “few”? Here is Christ’s answer to that question:
Luk 17:25 But first must he suffer many things, and be rejected of this generation.
Luk 17:26 And as it was in the days of Noe, so shall it be also in the days of the Son of man. (only eight people came through the flood)
Luk 17:32 Remember Lot’s wife. (3people)
Luk 17:33 Whosoever shall seek to save his life shall lose it; and whosoever shall lose his life shall preserve it.
Luk 18:8 I tell you that he will avenge them speedily. Nevertheless when the Son of man cometh, shall he find faith on the earth?
Christ was “rejected of this generation”, and “as He is so are we in this world”. It is through this “rejection” of the world that our “love of our brothers” is perfected.
1Jn 4:17 Herein is our love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment: because as he is, so are we in this world.
There is nothing wrong with going into the synagogues as long as you are also being cast out of the synagogues. But if you are going there simply because you miss the activities of the synagogue, you simply will not endure when “persecution and tribulation arise because of the word”.
Mat 13:21 Yet hath he not root in himself, but dureth for a while: for when tribulation or persecution ariseth because of the word, by and by he is offended.
I know this is not marketable material, but it is the Truth, and it really will pay off for all those to whom it is given to be rejected of this world and still remain faithful to the words and example of our Lord who really was “hated of all men”.
You are in my prayers.
Your brother in Christ,
Mike
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