Church With An Unbelieving Husband
Hi Mike,
I have written before, and I have a small problem that I am needing scriptures for. Right now I am sad and confused as what to do. I try not to go to this baptist church my husband goes to. I didn’t go this past Sunday, and it made my husband mad. He said a mean thing in front of our girls: “maybe mom needs to find some man who believes the same as her and go to his church.” He also said mom probably would be happy if I don’t go to church and stay home and do nothing.”
That hurt when he said that. He believes that I am in a cult by believing what I believe. If I keep quiet about what I believe, then things are smooth going. If I say I don’t want to go to church or if I speak of things like turning the other cheek or Christ is the savior of the world and one day will redeem all to himself; things don’t go smoothly then.
Here’s the deal for me: to sit in a class where they don’t teach truth or listen to a preacher preach on stuff I don’t believe in makes me sad, mad and sick. My husband says that the bible says to obey your husband, and he wants me to go to church. But God told me to come out of her. I am young in spirit and still learning. I am told to stay with my husband until he doesn’t want me anymore. I believe my husband wants me to stay, but yet he keeps making remarks about how I should find someone else to go church with. There is no one else around here that believes like I do, and when someone asks me what I believe, they no longer have anything to do with me. I am treated like I have a disease. (sigh)
So for me to go forward with my beliefs, things will get chaotic. If I stay quiet and do things my husband’s way, things are quiet. But when I do what my husband wants, I am sad and would like to kill myself (no, I won’t do that, but it sure would be nice sometimes). When I speak the truth about God and don’t go to church, I feel free and happy. But I am told to obey my husband which we don’t have anything in common anymore except our love for our kids. So I just was wondering if you have some scriptures for me to chew on, and if you see anywhere where I might need a good chewing out, let me know.
V____
P. S. I know you are busy. If you can’t reply to this, I will understand. Maybe I just needed a shoulder to cry on. But I sure would like some encouraging scriptures. Right now my mind is blank as to what to do next.
Hi V____,
Thank you for your question. Sounds like you have more than just a “small problem.” Your situation would have to be an agonizing one, and you are not alone. I receive many letters from women (and men) who are in your exact situation. Of course you realize that I do not know how you and your husband interact with each other. I would hope that you are not trying to force him to see what God has blinded his eyes from seeing. I hope that you are “ready always to give [ your husband] an answer [ when your husband] asks you are reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear.”
1Pe 3:15 But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and [ be] ready always to [ give] an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:
That word ‘ask’ is our cue to know when we are to open our mouths to witness for Christ and at the same time be careful not to cast our pearls before swine:
Mat 7:6 Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you.
I tell every one who asks me about this part of their walk, that the only reason to be in Babylon is to be “scourged …[ and] cast out of their synagogues.” If you were never in their synagogue, then you could not be scourged or cast out:
Mat 10:17 But beware of men: for they will deliver you up to the councils, and they will scourge you in their synagogues;
Joh 9:34 They answered and said unto him [ the man healed of blindness from birth], Thou wast altogether born in sins, and dost thou teach us? And they cast him out.
Christians were casting Christians out of churches before the apostles had all died:
3Jn 1:9 I wrote unto the church: but Diotrephes, who loveth to have the preeminence among them, receiveth us not.
3Jn 1:10 Wherefore, if I come, I will remember his deeds which he doeth, prating against us with malicious words: and not content therewith, neither doth he himself receive the brethren, and forbiddeth them that would, and casteth them out of the church.
So don’t be surprised if when you witness to them, you are asked to be quiet. I personally endured this three times before, in my ignorance, I realized that I could change no one. But being asked to be quiet is the same as casting you out. If you have been a witness to the truth in God’s Word and you have been rejected, you have been ‘cast out of their synagogue.’
If you have been cast out, then you have been cast out and there is nothing which I or Sandi or your husband can do to change that. When any one is cast out of the synagogue, it is really the working of the Lord. How your husband receives this fact is also the working of the Lord. Just see to it that if ever there is a “departing” that it is “the unbelieving [ who does the] departing.”
1Co 7:15 (a) But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart…
As I have so often pointed out, God hates separating. But as much as He hates separating He hates infidelity even more:
Mal 2:14 Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.
Mal 2:15 And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.
Mal 2:16 For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.
We can deceive ourselves and perhaps others, but we will not deceive God. He knows our hearts. So have a pure heart in all you do. Do all you do with pure motives, Valerie. Then let the chips fall where they may.
I hope this is of some value to you. I am praying that God will give you the wisdom just to endure this trial. He is working this in your life. All you have to do is to show a pure heart in your desire to say “Not my will but Thy will be done.”
Mike
Other related posts
- Works Versus Obedience (September 20, 2010)
- Working A Job And Still Forsaking All (May 17, 2009)
- Women Speaking In The Church (September 18, 2008)
- Witnessing To Babes In Christ (August 7, 2007)
- With What We Have Learned (November 25, 2007)
- Why Did God Create Hallucinogens? (March 22, 2010)
- Who's Calling (July 6, 2006)
- Who Loves God The Most? (July 21, 2008)
- Who Is My Brother? (October 5, 2008)
- Who Is Increasing And Who Is Decreasing? (June 5, 2007)
- Who Has "Sinned Willfully", and What Are the Consequences? (June 15, 2015)
- Where We All Once Were? (October 22, 2007)
- When Should We Witness? (July 18, 2007)
- When Everyone Turns Against Us (December 27, 2007)
- What is Meant by the Word "Perfect"? (October 20, 2006)
- What Is Love? (December 4, 2009)
- What Is A Disciple? (July 24, 2007)
- Were These Men Sinners Above All in Jerusalem? (July 22, 2009)
- We As His Disciples (June 4, 2009)
- Using Our Gifts (April 24, 2007)
- Unequally Yoked Together With Unbelievers (September 20, 2010)
- Uncovering The Nakedness Of Your Near Of Kin (January 22, 2009)
- Train Up A Child In The Way He Should Go (March 24, 2010)
- The Works of The Flesh In Us (November 3, 2008)
- The Meaning Of Backsliding (March 17, 2009)
- The Hope That Lies Within Us (December 6, 2010)
- Temptation With The Affairs of This World (July 18, 2007)
- Standing For Christ In The Face of Promotion (July 11, 2005)
- Sister to Sister (March 24, 2007)
- Should Women Ask The Blessing? (June 29, 2010)
- Should We Sing And Dance In Church Services? (June 29, 2009)
- Should We Counsel This World? (April 8, 2012)
- Should We Continue Going To Church? Part 2 (July 6, 2006)
- Should I Even Try To Overcome An Addiction? (March 30, 2009)
- Should Christians Vote? (July 6, 2006)
- Should Christians Seek To Have A Tax Free Status? (August 13, 2007)
- Should Christians Play The Stock Market? (August 30, 2007)
- Should Christians Make A Better Place To Live? (March 28, 2005)
- Should Christians Get Tattoos? (August 16, 2008)
- Should Christians Fear Curses? (May 4, 2007)
- Should Christians Donate Organs? (April 27, 2010)
- Should Believers Date Unbelievers? (May 4, 2007)
- Should A Christian Ever Use Physical Force? (October 29, 2008)
- Sex Before Marriage? (July 10, 2008)
- Returning My Attention Back To The Bible (July 20, 2010)
- Responding To Holiday Greetings (December 14, 2009)
- Remember Every Word Out of the Mouth of God (October 1, 2011)
- Rebuking A Brother (December 16, 2009)
- Proverbs 31:10-31 Wife (October 3, 2008)
- Patience and Its Function (November 6, 2010)
- Our Lusts of Our Flesh? (January 7, 2010)
- Our Brothers in Babylon? (August 4, 2012)
- Orthodox Ministers Publicly Praying For The Elect (January 28, 2010)
- On Voting (October 21, 2010)
- Obedience and Admonition (April 11, 2007)
- New Christians Are Always Confused (July 15, 2004)
- Neighborhood Bible Study (July 5, 1999)
- My Advice For A Young Christian (March 23, 2008)
- More Than A Conqueror (July 10, 2008)
- Mike and Ray Split Part 1 (May 12, 2007)
- Married Women Keeping Their Maiden Names (April 29, 2007)
- Loving Our Families (October 6, 2010)
- Let Him Remain Ignorant (April 8, 2010)
- Leaving The Church Without Guilt (April 13, 2004)
- Knowing Doctrine And Truth (July 2, 2009)
- Kept By The Power Of God Through Faith (July 1, 2008)
- Keep Them In This World (December 14, 2009)
- Is The Holy Spirit Working As We Serve Our Flesh? (March 16, 2009)
- Is Joking Bad Works? (January 9, 2010)
- Is It Scriptural To Work Long Hours At A Job? (February 13, 2009)
- Is It Possible To Backslide? (December 13, 2010)
- Is It Okay To Attend Church With Family? (May 13, 2011)
- Is It All Right To Keep Quiet? (January 3, 2010)
- Is It All Right To Date Those In Babylon? (June 6, 2009)
- Is It A Sin To Gamble? (August 12, 2009)
- Is It A Sin To Drink And Smoke? (December 18, 2009)
- Is It A Sin To Be Angry? (October 3, 2008)
- Is Hypnosis Biblical? (March 27, 2010)
- Is Cremation A Sin (June 2, 2009)
- I Wish God Would Stop Me From Sinning (March 25, 2009)
- How to Be a Witness? (April 8, 2009)
- How To Handle Getting Puffed Up? (August 27, 2007)
- How Long Do We Continue In Sin? (April 24, 2007)
- How God Prepares Our Hearts? (January 11, 2008)
- How Do We Know We Are Elect? (August 4, 2012)
- How Do We Come Out of Babylon? (October 20, 2011)
- Home Schooling (October 20, 2006)
- Handling Freeloaders (August 26, 2008)
- Handling Alcoholic Relatives (August 26, 2008)
- Growing To Maturity (September 12, 2010)
- Gratitude For His Revelation (May 2, 2009)
- Grateful For The Truth Of Christ (October 3, 2004)
- Grateful For Revelation Series (December 9, 2008)
- Grateful But Feeling Inadequate (March 8, 2009)
- Good Works (August 4, 2008)
- Going Back To Babylonish Church (May 11, 2010)
- Glorified By Our Sufferings (January 30, 2009)
- Freely Ye Have Received Freely Give (May 3, 2008)
- Freed From The Law of Sin and Death (June 12, 2005)
- Does The Bible Condone Gambling? (February 1, 2010)
- Does Christ Advocate Slavery? (July 25, 2007)
- Do Wives Really Have to Submit? (February 12, 2012)
- Did The First Christians Practice Communism? (December 22, 2004)
- Did His Disciples Provide For Their Families? (August 7, 2007)
- Coming Out of Babylon (February 7, 2008)
- Come Out and Be Ye Separate (June 20, 2007)
- Church With An Unbelieving Husband (October 10, 2006)
- Christians And Owning Guns (March 27, 2009)
- Christian Response To Holiday Greetings (November 3, 2008)
- Can We Know Gods Will for a Specific Situation? (May 13, 2011)
- Can We Eat With A Friend Who Believes Heresy? (May 22, 2009)
- Can Christians Serve In The Military? (June 12, 2007)
- Can Christians Drink Wine? (July 23, 2010)
- Can Christians Divorce And Remarry? (July 28, 2010)
- Can Christian Men Work With Female Bosses? (June 22, 2010)
- Can Art Be Used To Glorify God? (April 24, 2007)
- Can A Policeman Be A Christian? (June 12, 2009)
- Can A Christian Watch TV? (July 14, 2007)
- Can A Christian Defend Others (August 4, 2009)
- Can A Christian Defend His Wife And Children? (November 18, 2009)
- Can A Christian Be Forced To Deny His Beliefs? (April 11, 2010)
- Can A Christian Be A Pharmacist? (April 3, 2009)
- But Ye Brethren Be Not Weary In Well Doing (August 16, 2010)
- Birthdays Holidays and Unbelieving Spouses (May 12, 2007)
- Being All Things (May 4, 2009)
- Bearing Witness While Leaving Babylon (June 23, 2008)
- Bearing The Infirmities of The Weak (May 9, 2007)
- Bearing The Infirmities Of The Weak Study (May 15, 2010)
- Bearing The Infirmities Of The Weak 2010 (May 25, 2010)
- Are Medical Abortions Murder? (May 17, 2009)