Audio Download

Is it Wrong to Gather with Family and Friends on Holidays?

Hi my friend Mike,

It appears to me we have much in common. I am delighted to see that you and I have been battling mutual straw men. I wrongly have imputed motives upon you about what I falsely thought was your carnal attempt to obtain a righteousness by refraining from family get togethers that were organized at socially convenient times.

For years I have enjoyed family gatherings on December 25, Thanksgiving and sometimes the long “easter weekend” because that is when my children come home from college. As the leader in my family, I have often mentioned that these times mean nothing to God; they are man’s ideas. We also do not regard Sunday as any day special, except that often my kids and I are off work together, so it is a good day for fun together or yard work or a time to invite friends over for dinner.

Both my wife and I have for years seen the folly in spending more than we have to impress friends or our children with expensive gifts at ANY time in the year.

Mike, I believe that part of my problem has been a desire to “fit in” with the apparent leaders at IWWB. I have been anxious to somehow impress you guys, but have felt that my enjoying times with my family at xmas, etc. would have left me outside the accepted practice of the group. So I imputed upon you a certain self-righteousness and assumed that you were actively telling your friends that they needed to stop ALL holiday related activities.

Will you forgive me Mike, for assuming wrong motives of you?
I feel that this writing to you and your responses have helped me to work through some of my own areas of idol worship: i.e. seeking to please men rather than pleasing God.

I still have a desire to understand how one rightly divides the word. Discerning the spiritual meaning of a word or phrases and how to know which carnal meanings are still applicable for me is still a puzzle.

Love in our Lord,
J____

Hi J____,

Thanks again for your godly attitude of wanting to help others by what you have experienced. That is what John (the humble one) calls “the testimony of Jesus Christ… the spirit of prophecy:)”

Rev 19:10  And I fell at his feet to worship him. And he said unto me, See [thou do it] not: I am thy fellowservant, and of thy brethren that have the testimony of Jesus: worship God: for the testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy.

Your brother in Christ,

Mike

Hey, Mike,

Thank you for bearing with me through the past couple of years. If this current correspondence could be of any value to others, then I say you might publish the exchange in FAQS if you want.

In HIM,
J____

Hi J____,

What a wonderful attitude!

In truth, I personally think that families rarely getting together should always come before coming to a weekly Bible Study. It is not a good witness to be separated from our families just because we do not agree on doctrine. I attend every family function I am invited to, whatever the reason is for being there. I do not exchange gifts, but I do show up. According to Romans 14, this does not amount to the level of heresy, and we are never to attempt to force our level of understanding on others in any event.

Of course, I forgive you. I hope you will forgive me if I have ever said a word that was not in the patience and love that is our Lord. I am far from perfected, and struggle to overcome the flesh and to die daily just as you do.
As far as learning how to rightly divide scripture is concerned, we both know that the understanding of spiritual matters is a gift from God, but there are certain principles that are revealed concerning those who have been gifted with the discerning of spirits and the ability to see the mysteries of the kingdom of God. A few of those principles are to always remember that:

1) Christ’s words are spirit and do not always mean what they say, but rather mean what they mean.
2) Many times, like with all the commandments except the fourth one, the commandments are still in line with the spirit of the commandment. We cannot dishonor God or our brother, and claim to be living in the spirit.
3) We “must live by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God,” and “keep the things written therein.”
4) Truth is to be found only in the sum of God’s word and not to be based on one single verse.

Those are just a few very Biblical principles that come to mind.

When it comes to what parts of the Old Testament are to be kept, both Paul and Christ give us the principle of expediency. Christ said it was expedient that He return to the Father:

Joh 16:7  Nevertheless I tell you the truth; It is expedient for you that I go away: for if I go not away, the Comforter will not come unto you; but if I depart, I will send him unto you.

Paul says “I can do all things, but all things are not expedient.”

1Co 10:23  All things are lawful for me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but all things edify not.

1Co 6:12  All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.
1Co 6:13  Meats for the belly, and the belly for meats: but God shall destroy both it and them. Now the body [is] not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body.

It is expedient that we love and honor God and our fellow man, but the world as a whole ignores the Biblical definition of what it means to love our brothers and love God. This, too, is a principle that helps us to rightly divide the word of God.

1Jn 5:2  By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God, and keep his commandments.
1Jn 5:3  For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous.

There is no hope of understanding God’s Word without an understanding of these verses. We cannot confuse the love of our brothers with the love of God. We are not told, ‘By this we know we love God because we love our brothers’, and place what we consider to be love above what God commands. Rather, we are told that the only way to know we love our brothers is to obey God’s commandments.

This is not a complete study on this subject, but I hope this gives you something to consider and will in some way edify you.

In the final analysis, eyes that see and ears that hear are a gift that is either given or is not given to each of us by a sovereign God.

1Co 2:7  But we speak the wisdom of God in a mystery, [even] the hidden [wisdom], which God ordained before the world unto our glory:

1Co 2:13  Which things also we speak, not in the words which man’s wisdom teacheth, but which the Holy Ghost teacheth; comparing spiritual things with spiritual.
1Co 2:14  But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know [them], because they are spiritually discerned.

If you ask God for wisdom, and if it is according to His will, you will be given that wisdom.

Jas 1:5  If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all [men] liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.

1Jn 5:14  And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us:

I truly believe God is giving you eyes that see, and ears that hear.

Your brother in Christ,
Mike