Hello,

First of all let me tell you I love your site.  I am stuck in a nondenominational church.  What do I mean by stuck?  I want out, but my husband doesn’t.  So to keep the peace in our home, I go with him.  There are many things being taught in this church that are totally wrong.

One of the things that concerns me most is the spiritual authority issue.  My pastor teaches that he is the divine authority, and if he doesn’t agree with something, then don’t ask any questions.  He told my husband that he could not go and preach in any other churches without asking him first, and if he says no, then it is no.
They also teach that if the pastor does not have certain spiritual gifts, then you don’t have them either.  It flows from the head down.  So we should pray that he receives the gifts first, then we will be able to receive.

He also does and says a host of other crazy things that I just can’t stand.  I know for a fact that he does not like me because deep down he knows that I know he is wrong!  I don’t kiss up to him, ask his advice or permission, and I know that he thinks that I am just being rebellious.  I hate that there are people in the church (including my husband) that allow this type of control.  They will not do what they know they are called to do because of fear.

Where in the bible does it say that we are under the pastor?  I have never found it.  I thank God that He opened my eyes to the truth.  Please pray along with me for my husband and the others.  God bless you all!  A___

Hi A____,

You are so very right. I feel that God has given me a great blessing in being able to see the Spirit in His Word. But I have no illusions about thinking of myself as being over anyone. This is exactly what Christ warns His followers against:

Mat 20:25  But Jesus called them [His disciples] unto him, and said, Ye know that the princes of the Gentiles exercise dominion over them, and they that are great exercise authority upon them.
Mat 20:26  But it shall not be so among you: but whosoever will be great among you, let him be your minister;
Mat 20:27  And whosoever will be chief among you, let him be your servant:
Mat 20:28  Even as the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many.

This verse tells us who is the true spiritual Gentile and who is the true servant of God. This entire “from the top down” doctrine has not one verse in its support. If there were anything to it, then Paul would have had to have consulted with those in Jerusalem before he could have done anything. And he certainly would have been out of line when he corrected Peter at Antioch. But even Paul understood the truth of what Christ taught His disciples in Matthew 20. Here is how Paul debunks the false doctrine of church leaders having physical authority:

2Co 1:24  Not for that we have dominion over your faith, but are helpers of your joy: for by faith ye stand.

“Not that we have dominion over your faith” means ‘we have not dominion over your faith.’  “It shall not be so among you…” I pray that God will open your husband’s eyes to these and many other scriptures.

In the meantime, you are doing well in submitting to his placing by God as your head. But acknowledging your husband as your head is no different than me acknowledging that God has also placed physical authority in the physical government to which I, too, must submit. Yet none of us are ever told to obey men rather than God. So be careful to submit to your husband in all things, and at the same time remember these words:

Act 5:29  Then Peter and the [other] apostles answered and said, We ought to obey God rather than men.

There is a time when we are tested to see if we truly put God ahead of every thing in this earth. I pray that God will give you the grace and the wisdom to know when to obey your husband and when to put God and His word first.

Your brother in Christ,
Mike