A Mystery Hidden from the Ages and Generations: How Not to be Bitter Against One’s Wife and How not to Make a Husband Bitter – Part 1

[Study Aired July 15, 20 23]

Col 3:18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.
Col 3:19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.

In the beautiful account of Jacob lighting eyes upon Rachel for the first time, his response was to spontaneously burst into tears; such was his flood of profound emotions for having found a guaranteed virtuous woman to be his wife; to top off the connection, she was breathtakingly beautiful… besides, she obviously loved tending her father’s sheep in the sensorily arousing outdoors. That exhilarating imagery is enough to make any man nostalgically weep ~ it did Christ, who created all biological and spiritually related emotions that motivate ravishings (Son 4:9-11; Prov 5:19).

Gen 29:1 Then Jacob went on his journey, and came into the land of the people of the east. 
Gen 29:2 And he looked, and behold a well in the field, and, lo, there were three flocks of sheep lying by it; for out of that well they watered the flocks: and a great stone was upon the well’s mouth. 
Gen 29:3 And thither were all the flocks gathered: and they rolled the stone from the well’s mouth, and watered the sheep, and put the stone again upon the well’s mouth in his place. 
Gen 29:4 And Jacob said unto them, My brethren, whence be ye? And they said, Of Haran are we. 
Gen 29:5 And he said unto them, Know ye Laban the son of Nahor? And they said, We know him. 
Gen 29:6 And he said unto them, Is he well? And they said, He is well: and, behold, Rachel his daughter cometh with the sheep. 
Gen 29:7 And he said, Lo, it is yet high day, neither is it time that the cattle should be gathered together: water ye the sheep, and go and feed them.
Gen 29:8 And they said, We cannot, until all the flocks be gathered together, and till they roll the stone from the well’s mouth; then we water the sheep.
Gen 29:9 And while he yet spake with them, Rachel came with her father’s sheep: for she kept them. 
Gen 29:10 And it came to pass, when Jacob saw Rachel the daughter of Laban his mother’s brother, and the sheep of Laban his mother’s brother, that Jacob went near, and rolled the stone from the well’s mouth, and watered the flock of Laban his mother’s brother. 
Gen 29:11 And Jacob kissed Rachel, and lifted up his voice, and wept.

Upon seeing Rachel’s bright-eyed and sunny personality, Jacob’s unabashed howls expressed unspeakable joy and relief that such a beautiful creature existed. His unmasking no doubt cascaded Rachel with rapidly changing and enchanting emotions of surprise, tenderness and reverence, all amplifying the beauty in her face, only to make Jacob wail a little more. I’ll confidently wager that neither slept much that night, them having stayed up late excitedly chatting. Speaking from a man’s point of view, in disbelief, I would have lain brightly awake through the dawn just as Boaz’s commitment was for Ruth. The male-savvy Naomi knew that Boaz wouldn’t rest until his inherently protective masculine duty was performed for the particularly comely, virtuous young woman. 

I encourage you to please read all of Ruth 3 for Boaz’s and Ruth’s beautiful correlations to Jacob and Rachel, both parties individually representing Christ and his Bride.

Playful Shulamite-like poetic intimacy is the most provocative connection for a courting couple, and if continued in marriage, it is a key to supreme happiness. It is an elegant teasing game masterfully controlled and escalated by the fiancée or wife’s feminine charm and subtle delicacies, entrancing her lover. If ever a woman had righteous and powerful rulership over her husband, it is with that method! Jacob, Boaz, Christ and no righteous or unbelieving man could rest with those enviable traits alive in his home.

Of supreme importance, note in Jacob and Rachel’s connections that he meets her in the “field” to the “east”, tending her “Father’s sheep”. Spiritually he represents Christ and Rachel, His Bride, in the “high day” light of Him courting and connecting with her and magnifying her arousal for his plan of salvation, having rolled away the “stone” from the “well’s” mouth, washing her by the word (Eph 5:26) for her to wash the rest of the world for one of the two resurrections. Jacob and Rachel, Boaz and Ruth had outstanding sensual (physical) connections Solomon and the Shulamite epitomised spirituality for Christ and his Bride.

The intrinsic problem is with the connection! Worldly sensual connections are ordained to grow tiresome, particularly for a wife and by the curse. 

Joh 6:63 It is the spirit that quickeneth; the flesh profiteth nothing: the words that I speak unto you, they are spirit, and they are life.
Joh 6:64 But there are some of you that believe not. For Jesus knew from the beginning who they were that believed not, and who should betray him.

All wives (as are husbands spiritually to Christ) are predestined to “betray” their husbands ‘whose hearts are snares and nets, and their hands are bands’ for the pre-marriage guarantee of bedroom intimacy, just as old Israel promised Jehovah, and grow weary.

Ecc 7:26 And I find more bitter than death the woman, whose heart is snares and nets, and her hands as bands: whoso pleaseth God shall escape from her; but the sinner shall be taken by her. 

Christ is a wonderful stumbling block (1Co 1:23); He found relief from bitterness in death to fulfill His dream for us. And so…

“The dream is one”! This study aims to energise wives and husbands with aspirations for a dream marriage. It is hoped to show wives how to attain a connection with their husbands that almost every girl and wife since creation has dreamed of and torn down with her own hands (Pro 14:1). It likewise is hoped to show husbands how to be Christ so that their wives can realize their dreams.

It is only the Bride of Christ who has been electrified by the Shulamite’s God-given daydreaming who understands her past sluggish bedroom intimacies are the direct result of her curse from Eden. It is the staggering reason behind husbands’ bitterness against their wives and our Lord’s (designed) hatred for his first wife.

The heavenly pattern is clearly seen in the order of courtship by our husband, Christ choosing us to be His Bride. Her job, her high calling, is to enthusiastically respond and incite arousal in Him for her more profound conception and resulting mutually exhilarated joy.

Joh 15:16 You have not chosen Me, but I have chosen you and ordained you that you should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain; that whatever you shall ask of the Father in My name, He may give it to you.
Joh 15:17 These things I command you, that you love one another.

Col 2:17 For these are a shadow of things to come, but the body is of Christ. 

Following are two verses with tremendous implications for an outstanding marriage. Embedded therein hinges all marital dissonance founded on not having a spiritual connection.

Gen 4:1 And Adam knew [H3045] Eve his wife; and she conceived, and bare Cain, and said, I have gotten a man from the LORD.
Gen 4:2 And she again bare his brother Abel. And Abel was a keeper of sheep, but Cain was a tiller of the ground. 

We don’t necessarily have to look up the word “knew” to understand that Adam and Eve were sensually intimate. Yet, if we don’t, Satan jams a broom handle into the spokes of our marital pushbike, and the alliance goes over the handlebars; and that is precisely what happens to all marriages.

H3045 – Knew
Yada`
– Phonetic: yaw-dah’
– Definition: 
to know
(Qal)
to know 1a
to know, learn to know 1a
to perceive 1a
to perceive and see, find out and discern 1a
to discriminate, distinguish 1a
to know by experience 1a
to recognise, admit, acknowledge, confess 1a
to consider
to know, be acquainted with
to know (a person carnally)
to know how, be skillful in
to have knowledge, be wise
(Niphal)
to be made known, be or become known, be revealed
to make oneself known
to be perceived
to be instructed 
(Piel) to cause to know
(Poal) to cause to know
(Pual) to be known 
known, one known, acquaintance (participle)
(Hiphil) to make known, declare
(Hophal) to be made known
(Hithpael) to make oneself known, reveal oneself

Nothing in that translation says anything about sexual intimacies (except passively h. 2. to know (a person carnally); therefore, if a wife authentically wanted to ‘know’ her husband, she would make it her intimate ‘job’ to discover every minute detail about his mind, inciting his (Christ ~ spiritually) classically designed male body and mind to respond. Traditionally since he (and she) is almost guaranteed not to know ‘the’ Christ, that is where the broom handle is unwittingly employed.

However, let’s see how subtly “knowing” a wife or husband directly relates to spirited bedroom intimacies.

1Co 7:2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. 
1Co 7:3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. 
1Co 7:4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
1Co 7:5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
1Co 7:6 But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment. 

Permission G4774 from G48863 and G1097 meaning 1. to learn to know, come to know, get a knowledge of, perceive, feel a. to become known 2. to know, understand, perceive, have knowledge of a. to understand b. to know 3. Jewish idiom for sexual intercourse between a man and a woman< 4. to become acquainted with, to know.

The Bride’s (a wife’s) ‘job’ is the spiritual application of the highly sensual physical! If she doesn’t daily build her house with ravishing eyes (Son 4:9) to “provoke” her husband to good works (how dumb-easy is the biological application?), she is no different to that other dull woman from Mt. Agar (Gal 4:24-25).

Heb 10:22 Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience, and our bodies washed with pure water.

Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Eph 5:26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the [highly spiritually arousing washing] of water by the word.

Continuing…

Heb 10:23 Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; (for he is faithful that promised;) 
Heb 10:24 And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: 
Heb 10:25 Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching. 
Heb 10:26 For if we sin wilfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sins, 
Heb 10:27 But a certain fearful looking for of judgment and fiery indignation, which shall devour the adversaries.

Put simply, a husband’s ‘job’ is to know Christ; a wife’s ‘job’ is to converse submissively and enthusiastically engage him and be washed by the word of God. It is the most biologically and spiritually arousing act not known to mankind other than the Bride! With pounding hearts, it is the discovery of “hidden treasure”.

Mat 13:44 Again, the kingdom of Heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which when a man has found it, he hides it, and for the joy of it goes and sells all that he has, and buys that field.

I pray that men and women in the Body never regress to our former dismissive unaroused state and buy this field.

The most profoundly satisfying physical marriage relationship anywhere on earth is only found among a very few in the Elect of God, who have all the keys to the kingdom confined to the one outstanding spiritual act of being warmly and deeply kissed by her Lord. That enthusiastic physical interaction between a husband and his wife directly corresponds spiritually to the meaning of a stunning marriage and, ultimately, eternal life with Christ as our inheritance!

Sure, some Babylonian Christians know that mother Eve was given by the Lord to commit her sin and be liable to the inevitable curse, yet, they mostly have no whit why a husband would be guaranteed to be bitter against his wife. Husbands likewise have no whit of understanding the equivalent curse on them for being bitter against their wives! Accordingly, this study hopefully benefits those contemplating marriage and ‘resurrects to life’ those existing marriages, particularly for us all, spiritually.

Mat 16:16 And Simon Peter answered and said, You are the Christ, the Son of the living God. 
Mat 16:17 Jesus answered and said to him, You are blessed, Simon, son of Jonah, for flesh and blood did not reveal it to you, but My Father in Heaven.

Peter represents the Church upon the “little rock” (Petros); he was compared to Christ and the foundation of the Church. The Father only reveals His truth through his Elect.

Mat 16:18 And I also say to you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build My church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. 
Mat 16:19 And I will give the keys of the kingdom of Heaven to you. [The Elect only] And whatever you may bind on Earth shall occur, having been bound in Heaven, and whatever you may loose on Earth shall occur, having been [already, before the foundation of the world] loosed in Heaven. 

1Co 3:21 Therefore let no man glory in men. For all things are yours;
1Co 3:22 Whether Paul, or Apollos, or Cephas [Peter], or the world, or life, or death, or things present, or things to come; all are yours;

Those who have not been given the keys to the kingdom of heaven are those who cannot possibly accept the plain statement here in 1 Corinthians 3 that even “the world (and) death” are ours and that we must all live by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God, including “yes, even the wicked for the day of evil” (Pro 16:4) in each of us.

Those who have taken away the ‘key of knowledge’ of how to enter into the kingdom of heaven will never agree that “all things are yours” really means “all things ~ the world, death, things present and things to come.” 100% of “all things” are for the Elect alone only in this age; others are not being judged as yet, since the world does not participate in the First Resurrection. Those who refuse this key to the kingdom of heaven also go as far as to hinder those entering the kingdom of heaven. “…Ye have taken away the key of knowledge: ye entered not in yourselves, and them that were entering in ye hindered” (Luk 11:52). Even those sad words are “in me, that is in my flesh.”

Rom 7:18 For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not.

The Shulamite has been given all the keys to the Kingdom of Heaven rolled into one master key by her single-eyed focus on her Lord. With bright-eyed devotedness, she actively goes out of her way to spiritually inflame intense desire in her Lord for their mutual ecstasy, eager in measured anticipatory arousals for “when he pleases” (Son 8:4).

Son 4:9 You have ravished My heart, My sister, My spouse; you have ravished My heart with one of your eyes, with one chain of your neck.

The Lord slowly awakened the love of his Bride precisely ‘when he pleased’ at His death on the cross. There is no greater Shulamite awakening and inflaming of her love than today and increasing every day until His return! (Matthew 25 – the Ten Virgins)

The Lord made mature young women, particularly in their bloom of youth, devastatingly alluring to men. Even if some women are not instantly noticeably ravishing, they all have nuances of exquisite intrigue for the particularly attentive male. Almost all women fail to see those fleeting appeals that only a male sees, and even other males cannot see what a particularly discerning male loves in the girl of his watchfulness. She simply goes about being female in the body she was given, mostly innocently oblivious to what arouses males (a blight she inherits from dull-eyed mothers and elder women of influence). She’d be deeply intrigued, for sure, if she knew, yet, wrinkle her pretty nose up to understand its provocation to stare in the mirror to find the source for its amplification and frustrating failure. More likely, she grotesquely exaggerates what she perceives as sexually alluring, believing that ‘in-your-face’ sensual expressions trawl a larger catch for sorting… and she does.

All men and women sit somewhere in the long spectrum of lust that waxes and wanes in unrighteous lust; none are exempt. It is just that within that very broad band lies degrees of every dissolute thought and action imaginable. And by the design of the flesh, both men and women, particularly those ignorant of moral decency, lean toward exhausting their sensual titillations mostly secretly, yet in these end-times, becoming more and more pridefully triumphant.

The Lord made every aspect of feminine energy, those flashes of exquisite beauty that words defy, and the resulting male poetry of a million impassioned expressions for men’s endless fascination and intense focus. It is what mesmerises males to utter frustration of nonattainment, and many mournfully submit to pornography, either mentally or online. More women than those who admit do likewise. As an apparent statistical fact, today, it is hard to believe that women now watch more porn than men,  mostly for female sensuality vastly more than male. Ironic, isn’t it, that both men and women worship the Ashteroth^H6252.

Original: עשׁתּרת עשׁתּרות
– Transliteration: `Ashtarowth
– Phonetic: ash-taw-roth’
– Definition: Ashtaroth or Astaroth = star n pr f deity 
false Goddesses in the Canaanite religion, usually related to fertility cult n pr loc 
a city in Bashan east of the Jordan given to manasseh
Origin: H6251 –  1. ewe, flock, increase, young
From H6238 – 1. to be or become rich or wealthy, enrich, pretend to be rich.

Gen 14:5 And in the fourteenth year Chedorlaomer [Phonetic: ked-or-law-o’-mer] and the kings that were with him came and struck the giants in Ashteroth [ash-ter-oth’ kar-nah’-yim] Karnaim, and the Zuzim [zoo-zeem’] in Ham, and the Emim [ay-meem’] in Shaveh Kiriathaim [shaw-vay’ kir-yaw-thah’-yim],

There are plenty of derivatives of the term, Ashteroth or Ashtaroth, all meaning the worship of the female as a goddess.  You may like to check out this link. Astarte – Ancient Diety

Interestingly, the Ashteroth are of the Nephilim, the giants with which both Israel and we must contend. Fewer giants are ever more outstanding than the worship of women who rule over men. Women’s rulership over men and men’s most willing abdication of headship is the most damning sin of all, since, spiritually, it symbolises our imagined dethroning both the Father and Christ for our godship sitting on His throne (Rev 13, Rev 17, Rev 19).

Yet, the sexual vitality of a woman is the result of her overall feminine dynamism. Should she amplify authentic gentleness, kindness, softness in appearance and voice, peace, joy, temperance, gorgeous hair, her entire body and submissive mind (Gal 5) when devoted non-sexually to all men, she becomes an Esther, hopefully for one man’s unspeakable delight and glory for all the world to ultimately see ~ such is the Shulamite, the Bride, is to Christ.

The one-time protection of women for their purity for monogamous marriage is a cornerstone of a nation’s strength. Today, all focus is a flood of destroying the God-designed dynamism of our beautiful women, whose own hands (mind bogglingly) abet her destruction. Even though the following verse is for spiritual focus, its outward “natural” application today is immensely destructive to the glorious vitality of beautiful femininity.

Rev 12:15 And the serpent cast out of his mouth water as a flood after the woman, that he might cause her to be carried away of the flood.

Today, her demise is in freefall, and tragically she is carried away by the flood of lies. Her beauty is destroyed by her shrill cry demanding respect for her power, strength and independence. No wonder today we have a major Western push for ‘men going their own way’ (MGTOW) since they never wish to be enslaved to that kind of woman ~ Christ didn’t but was.

Women’s feminine energy in the Body of Christ is sanctified, protected and nourished for that one ‘man’ whose teeth (his flocks) rest at noon through the peace that their animated spiritual conversation excites in the full brightness of the Son.

Son 1:7 Tell me, O thou whom my soul loveth, where thou feedest, where thou makest thy flock to rest at noon: for why should I [the Shulamite] be as one that turneth aside by the flocks of thy companions? (More exposition on that verse later)

Nothing is more sexually arousing for a male than those mentioned above delectable female attributes with sparkling eyes authentically and singularly devoted to him at noon. For the spiritually void young man, her endless beauty seems to him melancholically as unattainable as a fictitious Shulamite. Shockingly, she is much closer than he’ll ever know!

Joh 17:15 I pray not that thou shouldest take them [the Bride] out of the world, but that thou shouldest keep them from the evil.
Joh 17:16 They are not of the world, even as I am not of the world. 
Joh 17:17 Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth [by ‘the washing’ of the Lord’s word]

It is understandable, yet a little desolate, that demurely inherent people tend to shift uncomfortably when the sexual “natural” that comes first corresponds to the spiritual. Almost daily, I ask most passionately of our Father to give me Christ’s kisses of deep spiritual understanding to be spiritually aroused and blazingly ‘turned on’, ravished, inflamed for Christ, my [the Body’s] husband and Lord, and for him to instantly delight in the beauty He is creating in me. There shouldn’t be one person in the Body of Christ who doesn’t know what intense sexual arousal feels like. If there is such a person, he is missing the full impact of its spiritual meaning. Does he think Christ figuratively closed his eyes and other spiritual sensories when he designed our incredible body, holding His breath and averting his eyes because it was all just too gross? (Php 2:5-8). It is intensely erotic for a husband whose wife, with unrestrained elegance and skilful planning, blesses him with her mind and body focused on him ~ so, too, is Christ spiritually. Subsequently, all things literally become hers.

Psa 139:13 For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother’s womb. 
Psa 139:14 I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. 
Psa 139:15 My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. 
Psa 139:16 Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them. 

1Pe 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

The curse from Eden immediately diverges a wife from her husband for them to be one flesh, body and spirit. When given to honour and submit to her head, a righteous husband, she captures the virtuously arousing nature of her God-given femininity. Her determination to exercise physical and spiritual enchantment in the home and for her husband and family immediately melds her and her husband as one spirit in Christ. That is the most powerful form of rulership she has that is infinitely greater than what her woke feminist kin in Babylon can only jealously lust for and deepen their ugly expressions.

Jud 1:12 These people are filthy minded, and by their shameful and selfish actions they spoil the meals you eat together. They are like clouds blown along by the wind, but never bringing any rain. They are like leafless trees, uprooted and dead, and unable to produce fruit. 
Jud 1:13 Their shameful deeds show up like foam on wild ocean waves. They are like wandering stars forever doomed to the darkest pits of hell.

Let’s explore why and how husbands become bitter against their wives and, if possible, Christ symbolically bitter against both.

The Bride of Christ alone has spiritually been given those keys as soundly understood in the study, the Song of Solomon. The Shulamite in the Song of Solomon was electrified to physically discover her marital ‘resurrection of life’ that her 1,000 sisters in Solomon’s palace could never discover. Even with Solomon’s infinite wisdom, she remained immutably “black” to him in understanding her unsearchable wisdom, reflected in perfectly expressed sensual arousal of an unknown (spiritual) higher plane. He had all the God-given wisdom above all fleshly wisdom, yet vexingly, this Shulamite held the literal (vernacular) ‘holy grail’ for an unspeakably blissful marriage! 

Meanwhile, Solomon’s 1,000 wives remained dead in their ‘perfection’ of beauty above all women in Israel, expecting the King to worship them. With a pout for not understanding why their Lord (Solomon/Christ) would not grovel before their self-acclaimed excellence and allurement, they, including Leah (Jacob’s first wife – greater Israel) and Queen Vashti, fulfill the following verse:

Isa 4:1 And in that day seven women shall take hold of one man, saying, we will eat our own bread and wear our own clothing; only let us be called by your name, to take away our shame.

An overwhelming fact remains that stunning sexual intimacy between a husband and wife results from outstanding spiritual connections that further cause an already pretty woman to become her heart’s desire, exquisitely ravishing. By the Lord’s design, Leah, Jacob’s (ironically) supplanted wife, couldn’t understand that multiple sexual encounters resulting in many sons weren’t the ultimate criteria for love (Gen 29:31-35); spiritually, neither can the woman from Sinai whom the nominative 99.99% of the world’s men, physically and spiritually marry.

Of course, Queen Vashti was spectacularly put in her place for glorifying herself before all the nobles, princes and nation of Shushan (Persia) by not humbly coming at her Lord’s behest. She was too absorbed in elevating her beauty before the other women of King Ahasuerus’s (Phonetic: ‘akh-ash-vay-roshs’)  palace (Est 1:9). She certainly didn’t need a man, particularly her husband, to have his image symbolically glorified when she could artfully satisfy herself before the entire nation by taking such an outrageous objection to her husband’s bidding. Vashti was a classical feminist. Vashti’s and Israel’s haughty dismissiveness of her husband’s appetite for her tantalising beauty cost her royalty ~ so, too, does it cost the 99.99% of humanity’s majesty who narcissistically worship themselves in Babylonian Christianity. 

1Co 11:7 For a man indeed ought not to have his head covered, because he is the image and glory of God. But the woman is the glory of the man.

All Christian Babylonian women are effectively feminists since they rarely submit to their husbands as unto the Lord (Eph 5:22). The accepted spiritual fact in the Body of Christ is that all men in greater Babylon are spiritual ‘feminists’ since they utterly reject Christ, and subsequently and unwittingly are subject to the greater judgement.

Before Christ’s people were dragged out of Babylon, they subliminally knew something about the other Christ preached was amiss (a Solomon-like vexation for the Shulamite’s blackness and his inability to understand her spirit).

Just as Babylonish wives can’t submit to their Babylonish husbands; similarly, Christ-like wives have grave difficulty submitting to a Babylonish husband, and Christ-like husbands have “bitter” distress connecting to their Babylonian wives, as symbolised by our Lord’s hatred for His first wife’s rejection of His ‘kisses’ (Israel in the wilderness). Even though our Lord designed Israel’s rejection for His deep kisses of His word, all husbands are in lockstep with Christ for the same near-guaranteed experience that leaves them feeling defeated and betrayed. The unspiritual husband is exceedingly troubled by his wife’s dismissiveness of his physical arousal for her. More often, his exasperation plunges his marriage into deeper discord.

God commanded Hosea to marry a known harlot (Hosea 3) to parallel Israel’s harlotry while married to her Lord; for most husbands today, the most insidious off-shoot dynamics of harlotry is his wife’s inherent increasing disdain to be authentically aroused for his love ~ why should she?

Harlotary is traditionally solely financially interested in the transaction and mostly despises her client’s inflamed passion; she has perfected feigning exhilaration, hoping to speed up his zenith while secretly hoping, “Are you finished yet?” She artfully knows that a hint of that expression will extend or kill her client’s fulfillment of the transaction and is the last thing she desires.

Of course, not all harlot’s business (covenant) involves money since a Queen Vashti-like self-glorification in the eyes of the entire nation is superior currency involving tens of thousands of ‘customers’. She is the ultimate capitalist. Indeed, a wife’s rulership over her husband is a damnably damaging act to marriage.

That self-worship is further narrowed down and identified in our physical marriages in the Body of Christ, where the same self-worshiping act can linger and hide physically and, worse, spiritually.

The spiritual Esthers and Shulamites intrinsically know from experience that honouring a husband, not only for his headship but his God-given design, to be easily sensually inflamed will bless her more leisurely arousals. Her entire body is a tactile organ with many more sensory interconnections than her husband’s; they complement his God-given greater gift for spiritual connections and, thus, headship. She teaches her husband to be a skilled ‘harpist’ with her body, lingering on some notes and ingeniously plucking others. She delights in seeing his delight in her sensory beauty, deliberately designed to further enhance her awakening and is a major key to her ultimate joy, the Shulamite no doubt learned from her mother. (Son 8:1-7 – in fact, all of Son!). Her husband is designed to spiritually do likewise to her overwhelming joy. No wonder the Shulamite, with that understanding, fiercely protected her virginity for “when he pleases”!

Of course, our Lord is the master psalmist and musician for our colossal spiritual arousals, deftly timing every essential disturbance for our excitement for Him. Our submission to Him guarantees Him raising a chorus in us of honour.

Pro 15:33 The fear of the LORD is the instruction of wisdom; and before honour is humility. 

1Sa 2:30 Wherefore the LORD God of Israel saith, I said indeed that thy house, and the house of thy father, should walk before me for ever: but now the LORD saith, Be it far from me; for them that honour me I will honour, and they that despise me shall be lightly esteemed.

Our strong delusions in Babylon were mind boggling for the spiritually stimulated mind when we were given to see the cunning plan our Lord had designed for his Elect.

Mar 10:28 Then Peter began to say unto him [Jesus], Lo, we have left all, and have followed thee. 
Mar 10:29 And Jesus answered and said, Verily I say unto you, There is no man that hath left house, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife [regardless of outstanding marital intimacies], or children, or lands, for my sake, and the gospel’s,
Mar 10:30 But he shall receive an hundredfold now in this time [coming age; and maybe now physically for the wise], houses, and brethren, and sisters, and mothers, and children, and lands, with persecutions; and in the world to come eternal life. 
Mar 10:31 But many that are first shall be last; and the last first.

[End of Part 1]

Audio Links

“The virtuous body of Christ” – Part 3

March 19, 2016

with Steven Crook

What does it mean to be virtuous? This is probably among the first questions that most Christians ask themselves when considering what Proverbs chapter 31 is all about. Mankind is able to define what virtue is, but is that how God defines virtue and being virtuous?

In the study today, we are going to take a closer look at what the Lord tells us is virtuous. I believe that those who have eyes to see and ears to hear what the Spirit says unto the churches, will “walk away” from this study with and entirely new idea about what the Lord looks for in His wife, “The Virtuous body of Christ”.

What is virtue?

Pro 31:10  Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

What is virtue? Merriam-Webster defines “virtue” as simply:

Morally good behavior or character

A good and moral quality

The good result that comes from something

Merriam-Webster also gives a “full definition” of virtue as:

1. A) conformity to a standard of right: morality B) a particular moral excellence
2. plural: an order of angels – see celestial hierarchy
3. a beneficial quality or power of a thing
4. manly strength or courage – valor
5. a commendable quality or trait – merit
6. a capacity to act – potency
7. chastity especially in a woman

Merriam-Webster define “virtuous” as:

Morally good: having or showing virtue

Strong’s concordance defines “virtuous” as:

H2428

chayil
khah’-yil
From H2342; probably a force, whether of men, means or other resources; an army, wealth, virtue, valor, strength: – able, activity, (+) army, band of men (soldiers), company, (great) forces, goods, host, might, power, riches, strength, strong, substance, train, (+) valiant (-ly), valour, virtuous (-ly), war, worthy (-ily).
Total KJV occurrences: 243

All of these definitions, even with Strong’s concordance, are things that mankind has defined as traits worthy of the concept of virtue. However, the diligent wife of Christ is always concerning herself with what the will of her Husband is.

Why is it important to compare what the world defines as virtue versus what the Lord means virtue to be understood as in the context of defining what a virtuous woman is?

Did you notice how many times “moral” or “morality” was used to define virtue? Who gets to define what being moral or what morality is? If we rely on our own definitions, then we will have to welcome the opinion of all humans which is disastrous for the new man being formed in us.

This series is titled, “The Virtuous body of Christ” so I am obligated to point out the spiritual definition of virtue or being virtuous, but I also cannot negate the fact that virtue in the physical sense and application does matter.

Natural Virtue

Having natural virtue, as defined by whatever our societal norms are, is something that does not come naturally to anyone. We must work on being strong in whatever it is we are trying to be strong in. If I want to have strong muscles, I need to work them out. If I want to have a strong mind, it must be intellectually worked out. So then is this true for virtue.

As Christians, like Christ, we must be like our Husband. When we are in a relationship we naturally take on characteristics of our partner’s mindset. With our Husband Christ, we are to put on His whole mind.

When we do, what happens for us in our natural and physical lives is a reflection of the spiritual truths that live in us. If they are lacking in application in our day to day lives that is because they need to be exercised more and more in our spiritual mindset.

This is something that only the Lord can do in us and that is why it is so important for us to listen to the will and commands of our Husband the Lord.

Applying virtue in our lives

Pro 31:10  Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

Pro 31:10  WhoH4310 can findH4672 a virtuousH2428 woman?H802 for her priceH4377 is farH7350 above rubies.H4480 H6443

In our last study, we covered what spiritual drunkenness is and why it is important that we do not become drunk with the doctrines of what so many other harlots become drunk with.

As it pertains to virtue, we can become drunk on what the world defines as virtue without even knowing that is happening and has happened already.

How is that?

What I am about to share is something that I haven’t heard mentioned or preached anywhere. I have no doubt that someone somewhere has taught this and has been led of the Lord to understand it, but after studying this for myself, I am much more informed of the virtue and virtuous wife the Lord inspired Lemuel’s mother to tell Lemuel to seek out.

What is a “virtuous” woman as defined in scripture? Remember that Strong’s concordance lists H2428 in English as “virtuous”.

Here is H2428 being used in scripture. I am not going to read all of these but I am listing them in the notes so that you can see them for yourselves.

H2428
chayil
Total KJV Occurrences: 242
army, 51
Exo_14:9, Deu_11:4, 1Ki_20:19, 1Ki_20:25 (2), 2Ki_25:5 (2), 2Ki_25:10, 2Ch_13:3, 2Ch_14:8, 2Ch_24:24, Neh_2:9, Neh_4:2, Isa_43:17, Jer_32:2, Jer_34:1, Jer_34:7, Jer_34:21, Jer_35:11 (2), Jer_37:5, Jer_37:7, Jer_37:10-11 (3), Jer_38:3, Jer_39:1, Jer_39:5, Jer_46:2, Jer_46:22, Jer_52:4, Jer_52:8 (2), Jer_52:14, Eze_17:17, Eze_27:10-11 (2), Eze_29:18-19 (3), Eze_32:31, Eze_37:10, Eze_38:4, Eze_38:15, Dan_11:7, Dan_11:13, Dan_11:25-26 (3), Joe_2:11, Joe_2:25
valour, 37
Jos_1:14, Jos_8:2-3 (2), Jos_10:7, Jdg_3:29, Jdg_6:12, Jdg_18:1-2 (2), Jdg_20:44, Jdg_20:46, 1Ki_11:28, 2Ki_5:1, 2Ki_24:14, 1Ch_5:24, 1Ch_7:7, 1Ch_7:9, 1Ch_7:11, 1Ch_8:40 (2), 1Ch_12:21, 1Ch_12:25, 1Ch_12:28, 1Ch_12:30, 1Ch_26:6, 1Ch_26:30-32 (3), 2Ch_13:3, 2Ch_14:8, 2Ch_17:13-14 (2), 2Ch_17:16-17 (2), 2Ch_25:6, 2Ch_26:12, 2Ch_32:21, Neh_11:14
host, 28
Exo_14:4, Exo_14:17, Exo_14:28, Exo_15:4, Num_31:14, 1Sa_14:48, 1Sa_17:20, 2Sa_8:9, 2Sa_24:2, 2Sa_24:4 (2), 1Ki_20:1, 2Ki_6:14-15 (2), 2Ki_7:6, 2Ki_9:5, 2Ki_11:15, 2Ki_25:1, 1Ch_18:9, 2Ch_14:9, 2Ch_16:7-8 (2), 2Ch_23:14, 2Ch_24:23-24 (2), 2Ch_26:11, Psa_33:16, Psa_136:15
valiant, 20
1Sa_14:52, 1Sa_16:18, 1Sa_18:17, 1Sa_31:12, 2Sa_2:7, 2Sa_11:16, 2Sa_13:28, 2Sa_17:10 (2), 2Sa_23:20, 2Sa_24:9, 1Ki_1:42, 1Ch_5:18, 1Ch_10:12, 1Ch_11:22, 1Ch_28:1, 2Ch_26:17, 2Ch_28:6, Neh_11:6, Nah_2:3
forces, 14
2Ch_17:2, Isa_60:5, Isa_60:11, Jer_40:7, Jer_40:13, Jer_41:11, Jer_41:13, Jer_41:16, Jer_42:1, Jer_42:8, Jer_43:4-5 (2), Oba_1:10-11 (2)
strength, 12
1Sa_2:4, 2Sa_22:40, Psa_18:32, Psa_18:39, Psa_33:17, Psa_84:7 (2), Pro_31:3, Ecc_10:10, Joe_2:22 (2), Hab_3:19
riches, 11
Job_20:15, Psa_62:10, Psa_73:12, Isa_8:4, Isa_10:14, Isa_61:6 (2), Eze_26:12, Eze_28:4-5 (3)
wealth, 10
Gen_34:29, Deu_8:17-18 (2), Rth_2:1, 2Ki_15:20, Job_31:25, Psa_49:6, Psa_49:10, Pro_13:22, Zec_14:14
power, 9
1Sa_9:1, 2Sa_22:33, 1Ch_20:1, Est_1:3, Est_8:11, Job_21:7, Psa_59:11, Zec_9:3-4 (2)
substance, 7
Job_5:4-5 (2), Job_15:29, Job_20:18, Jer_15:13, Jer_17:3, Mic_4:13 (2)
might, 6
2Ki_24:16, 1Ch_7:2, 1Ch_7:5, 1Ch_12:8, Zec_4:5-6 (2)
strong, 5
2Ki_2:16, 1Ch_26:7, 1Ch_26:9, Ecc_12:3, Jer_48:14
valiantly, 5
Num_24:18, Psa_108:12-13 (2), Psa_118:15-16 (2)
able, 4
Exo_18:21, Exo_18:25, 1Ch_9:13, 1Ch_26:8
armies, 4
2Ki_25:23, 2Ki_25:26, 1Ch_11:26, 2Ch_16:4
virtuous, 3
Rth_3:11, Pro_12:4, Pro_31:10
band, 2
1Sa_10:26, Ezr_8:22
goods, 2
Num_31:9, Zep_1:13
war, 2
Deu_3:18, 2Ch_33:14
activity, 1
Gen_47:6
company, 1
2Ch_9:1
hosts, 1
1Ki_15:20
mighty, 1
2Ch_26:13
soldiers, 1
Ezr_8:22
train, 1
1Ki_10:2
valiantest, 1
Jdg_21:10
virtuously, 1
Pro_31:29
worthily, 1
Rth_4:11
worthy, 1
1Ki_1:52

“Virtuous” is listed 51 times as “army” which is almost 1/5th of all the words used in English. It is listed 28 times as host and 14 as forces. These words alone are 93 times of the 242 that it is mentioned. That is nearly 40% of the time we see a host, army or force being mentioned in connection with “virtuous”.

Why is that and what does it mean? Let’s read a few of the examples.

Exo 14:9  But the Egyptians pursued after them, all the horses and chariots of Pharaoh, and his horsemen, and his army H2428, and overtook them encamping by the sea, beside Pihahiroth, before Baalzephon.

Jer 32:2  For then the king of Babylon’s army H2428 besieged Jerusalem: and Jeremiah the prophet was shut up in the court of the prison, which was in the king of Judah’s house.

Jer 38:3  Thus saith the LORD, This city shall surely be given into the hand of the king of Babylon’s army H2428, which shall take it.

Exo 14:4  And I will harden Pharaoh’s heart, that he shall follow after them; and I will be honoured upon Pharaoh, and upon all his host H2428; that the Egyptians may know that I am the LORD. And they did so.

Psa 136:15  But overthrew Pharaoh and his host H2428 in the Red sea: for his mercy endureth for ever.

2Ch 17:2  And he placed forces H2428 in all the fenced cities of Judah, and set garrisons in the land of Judah, and in the cities of Ephraim, which Asa his father had taken.

So, “virtuous” is partly defined as an army most of the time it is used, but it is also an army with certain attributes. Here are some of those attributes and the ones mostly translated from H2428.

Jos 1:14  Your wives, your little ones, and your cattle, shall remain in the land which Moses gave you on this side Jordan; but ye shall pass before your brethren armed, all the mighty men of valour H2428, and help them;

Neh 11:14  And their brethren, mighty men of valour H2428, an hundred twenty and eight: and their overseer was Zabdiel, the son of one of the great men.

1Sa 14:52  And there was sore war against the Philistines all the days of Saul: and when Saul saw any strong man, or any valiant H2428 man, he took him unto him.

1Sa 2:4  The bows of the mighty men are broken, and they that stumbled are girded with strength H2428.

Psa 18:32  It is God that girdeth me with strength H2428, and maketh my way perfect.

All of these words are the same Hebrew word translated as virtuous in Proverbs 31:10, but how can that be and what does it mean for us?

Before we answer that let’s look at the negative application of this word “virtuous”. We all can and have been partakers of worldly virtue, the things the world thinks are virtuous.

Here is what scripture speaks about this “virtuous” word/concept concerning what the world does with virtue.

Job 20:4  Knowest thou not this of old, since man was placed upon earth,
Job 20:5  That the triumphing of the wicked is short, and the joy of the hypocrite but for a moment?

A couple verses later:

Job 20:15  He hath swallowed down riches H2428, and he shall vomit them up again: God shall cast them out of his belly.

Psa 62:9  Surely men of low degree are vanity, and men of high degree are a lie: to be laid in the balance, they are altogether lighter than vanity.
Psa 62:10  Trust not in oppression, and become not vain in robbery: if riches H2428 increase, set not your heart upon them.

Eze 28:1  The word of the LORD came again unto me, saying,
Eze 28:2  Son of man, say unto the prince of Tyrus, Thus saith the Lord GOD; Because thine heart is lifted up, and thou hast said, I am a God, I sit in the seat of God, in the midst of the seas; yet thou art a man, and not God, though thou set thine heart as the heart of God:
Eze 28:3  Behold, thou art wiser than Daniel; there is no secret that they can hide from thee:
Eze 28:4  With thy wisdom and with thine understanding thou hast gotten thee riches H2428, and hast gotten gold and silver into thy treasures:
Eze 28:5  By thy great wisdom and by thy traffick hast thou increased thy riches H2428, and thine heart is lifted up because of thy riches H2428:

All of these words are the same word “virtuous” and as can be seen when it is translated as “riches” there is a negative connotation of what we do with what the Lord alone has given us. We value what we think virtue is but then we define it and do with it whatever the idols of our hearts tell us to do with “virtue”.

So what are we to take away for this? There is a lot being covered here. Well, in order to answer this question, we must get to the root of the word virtuous. We also must consider the last part of this verse, “…for her price is far above rubies”.

Firstly, here is the root of “virtuous”, H2428.

H2428

chayil
khah’-yil
From H2342; probably a force, whether of men, means or other resources; an army, wealth, virtue, valor, strength: – able, activity, (+) army, band of men (soldiers), company, (great) forces, goods, host, might, power, riches, strength, strong, substance, train, (+) valiant (-ly), valour, virtuous (-ly), war, worthy (-ily).
Total KJV occurrences: 243

The root is “H2342”.

H2342

chûl    chı̂yl
khool, kheel
A primitive root; properly to twist or whirl (in a circular or spiral manner), that is, (specifically) to dance, to writhe in pain (especially of parturition) or fear; figuratively to wait, to pervert: – bear, (make to) bring forth, (make to) calve, dance, drive away, fall grievously (with pain), fear, form, great, grieve, (be) grievous, hope, look, make, be in pain, be much (sore) pained, rest, shake, shapen, (be) sorrow (-ful), stay, tarry, travail (with pain), tremble, trust, wait carefully (patiently), be wounded.
Total KJV occurrences: 58

H2342
chûl  /  chı̂yl
Total KJV Occurrences: 68
pain, 6
Isa_13:8, Isa_26:17-18 (2), Jer_30:23, Eze_30:16, Mic_4:10
formed, 5
Deu_32:18, Job_26:5, Job_26:13, Psa_90:2, Pro_26:10
forth, 4
Pro_8:24-25 (2), Isa_45:10, Isa_66:8
brought, 3
Pro_8:24-25 (2), Isa_45:10
pained, 3
Joe_2:4-6 (3)
calve, 2
Job_39:1, Psa_29:9
fall, 2
Jer_23:19, Jer_30:23
fear, 2
1Ch_16:30, Psa_96:9
grieved, 2
Est_4:4, Jer_5:3
grievous, 2
Psa_10:5, Jer_23:19
shaketh, 2
Psa_29:8 (2)
stayed, 2
Gen_8:10, Lam_4:6
travail, 2
Isa_23:4, Isa_54:1
travailed, 2
Isa_66:7-8 (2)
tremble, 2
Psa_114:7, Jer_5:22
trembled, 2
Psa_97:4, Hab_3:10
wounded, 2
1Ch_10:3 (2)
abide, 1
Hos_11:6
afraid, 1
Psa_77:16
anguish, 1
Deu_2:25
bare, 1
Isa_51:2
bring, 1
Isa_66:8
dance, 1
Jdg_21:21
danced, 1
Jdg_21:23
driveth, 1
Pro_25:23 (2)
great, 1
Eze_30:16
grievously, 1
Jer_23:19
hope, 1
Lam_3:26
look, 1
Job_20:21
made, 1
Job_15:7
patiently, 1
Psa_37:7 (2)
rest, 1
2Sa_3:29
shapen, 1
Psa_51:5
sorrow, 1
Jer_51:29
sorrowful, 1
Zec_9:5
tarried, 1
Jdg_3:25
travaileth, 1
Job_15:20
trust, 1
Job_35:14
wait, 1
Psa_37:7
waited, 1
Mic_1:12

Wait, what? The root of “virtuous” is rooted in pain? Here are a few of these verses listed out so that we can get an idea of what we are being told.

Isa 13:8  And they shall be afraid: pangs and sorrows shall take hold of them; they shall be in pain H2342 as a woman that travaileth: they shall be amazed one at another; their faces shall be as flames.

Isa 26:17  Like as a woman with child, that draweth near the time of her delivery, is in pain H2342, and crieth out in her pangs; so have we been in thy sight, O LORD.
Isa 26:18  We have been with child, we have been in pain, we have as it were brought forth wind; we have not wrought any deliverance in the earth; neither have the inhabitants of the world fallen.

Jer 30:23  Behold, the whirlwind of the LORD goeth forth with fury, a continuing whirlwind: it shall fall with pain H2342 upon the head of the wicked.

Eze 30:16  And I will set fire in Egypt: Sin shall have great pain H2342, and No shall be rent asunder, and Noph shall have distresses daily.

Mic 4:10  Be in pain H2342, and labour to bring forth, O daughter of Zion, like a woman in travail: for now shalt thou go forth out of the city, and thou shalt dwell in the field, and thou shalt go even to Babylon; there shalt thou be delivered; there the LORD shall redeem thee from the hand of thine enemies.

Jer 23:19  Behold, a whirlwind of the LORD is gone forth in fury, even a grievous H2342 whirlwind: it shall fall grievously H2342 upon the head of the wicked.

Deu 2:25  This day will I begin to put the dread of thee and the fear of thee upon the nations that are under the whole heaven, who shall hear report of thee, and shall tremble, and be in anguish H2342 because of thee.

How can it be that pain and anguish are the root of being virtuous? It does not make sense to the carnally minded natural man. It is utter foolishness to the old man in us all.

Why does it make sense to the new man and what is the Lord telling us about Jesus Christ being the Head of His church? Why does a husband want a virtuous wife? Maybe it has something to do with her value?

The price of something is set by the value it holds for those who are selling and buying that something.

Rom 8:20  For the creature was made subject to vanity, not willingly, but by reason of him who hath subjected the same in hope,
Rom 8:21  Because the creature itself also shall be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God.
Rom 8:22  For we know that the whole creation groaneth and travaileth in pain together until now.
Rom 8:23  And not only they, but ourselves also, which have the firstfruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting for the adoption, to wit, the redemption of our body.
Rom 8:24  For we are saved by hope: but hope that is seen is not hope: for what a man seeth, why doth he yet hope for?
Rom 8:25  But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it.

A brilliantly colored red ruby holds a tremendous value to the natural man. It is rarer than diamonds and red is directly connected to “old man Adam”. Adam = red.

Gen 2:19  And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam H121 to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.

H121
‘âdâm
BDB Definition:
Adam = “red”
1) first man
2) city in Jordan valley
Part of Speech: noun proper masculine
A Related Word by BDB/Strong’s Number: the same as H120
Same Word by TWOT Number: 25a

If a “red” ruby holds value to the old natural man in us all, of how much more value is this virtuous woman to a man who values such things?

Pro 31:10  Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

Who can find a woman who is strong, a force to be reckoned with, has great courage in the face of danger, is determined, is rich in the Spirit, represents power and represents her Husband in all that she does and says? If you find such a woman, then you are a BLESSED Husband indeed.

Yes, Jesus Christ has placed us as this woman to represent Him as His body. We are the church of the living God and we are extremely valuable to our Husband.

Why is our value so significant?

1Pe 1:3  Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, which according to his abundant mercy hath begotten us again unto a lively hope by the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,
1Pe 1:4  To an inheritance incorruptible, and undefiled, and that fadeth not away, reserved in heaven for you,
1Pe 1:5  Who are kept by the power of God through faith unto salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.
1Pe 1:6  Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations:
1Pe 1:7  That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:
1Pe 1:8  Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory:

As we live each and every day of our lives, the new man in us is being BORN into NEWNESS of LIFE by the DEATH of the old man. It is THROUGH death that life happens, and the new man in us all and the mind of our Husband, is born little by little each and every day. We die daily and little by little He increases in us.

In our next study, we are going to continue to see why it is “the heart” of Jesus safely trusts in His wife, the many membered “army” of His body, and how we can all apply practical skills in our lives which reflect what being a virtuous wife is all about.

We have focused some on the spiritual aspects of the word “virtuous” today, but in the next study we are going to bridge the gap on how the physical reflects the spiritual in the lives of both men and women, single and married, young and old in the body of Christ.

The writer has only sought to show the application that can and should be made to our daily lives and help the sincere Christian woman understand how she can take these scriptures and find some practical value in them for her walk with God. Please understand that the writer realizes there are exceptions in this day of single parent families, combined families, etc. that will seemingly not fit the mold shown here, but hopefully you can glean from the model ‘fit words’ to help you in your goal to live as a godly woman no matter what your circumstances.

We will discuss each verse separately and add what scriptures elsewhere can expand the subject. By no means is this study limited to the scriptures given, but the reader in her study will undoubtably come across others that are relevant. The New King James version of the Bible was used for the most part with some quotes from the regular King James version included as well. Pro 18:22 tells us ‘He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.’ Strive to be the kind of wife that will aid your husband in obtaining favor from the Lord, and you will obtain the same favor yourself and the added benefit of a blessed, happy marriage.

Pro 31:10  Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. (NKJ)

Though unspoken in 18:22, one can only assume after reading so many of the Proverbs which deal with unvirtuous women, that the wife sought after and found there is obviously a virtuous woman. Even though diamonds are considered ‘a girl’s best friend’, a fine high quality ruby is actually much rarer than diamonds. [http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2011-01-17/travel/ct-tribu-weigel-colored-gems-20110117_1_carat-sapphire-pink-diamond-ruby and https://www.gemsociety.org/article/how-rare-is-that-gem/]

Pro 31:11-12  The heart of her husband safely trusts her; So he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.

A book could be written on these two verses alone because they can cover so many areas. You say ‘Of course my husband can trust me!’

This spans far more than knowing you’re not going to flirt (or worse) with his friends. Isn’t a little harmless flirting okay? That’s not how God looks at it, and aren’t we attempting to improve our Godly walk?

Mat 5:28 “But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

This applies just as much to women for God is not gender biased. (Jas 4:4 – Adulterers and adulteresses!…)

How trustworthy are you with the money? Are you drowning in debt because instead of paying bills, you’re out having lunch with ‘the girls’, buying unneccessary clothes (‘It was a bargain I just couldn’t pass up! I saved so much.’), lottery tickets (‘Hey, I could get lucky; it’s only a few dollars a week, besides it goes to education doesn’t it?’). Hope you are not grinding your teeth yet. We have a long way to go.

You say you’re ‘good’ to him? In your mind does that mean you grudgingly show him intimate affection when you can’t plead a headache? The marriage chapter, 1 Corinthians 7, is a good study for this part of your relationship. Verse 4 there tells us your bodies belong to each other, while verse 5 warns us “do not deprive one another…” without a good reason and not for lengthy periods of time. Ecc 9:10 applies here as well as every other facet of our lives. “Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might…” Your husband will be delighted to make love with his wife, not just to her.

The area in which most women are found lacking is their mouths. When did it become the ‘thing to do’ to badmouth your husband to your friends and relatives? Verse 26 of Pro 31 ties in here. It is not kind to give an up-to-the-minute monolog of your husband’s faults complete with rolling eyes and heavy sighs amid group tsk, tsks. I know it’s hard not to do it sometimes when the ‘girls’ are hard at it, and you don’t want to be left out! It’s a real conversation killer, isn’t it, if you don’t join in and offer up juicy tidbits on the altar of gossip, but choose to praise his good points instead. Remembering Pro 11:13 “A talebearer reveals secrets, but he (or she) who is of a faithful spirit conceals a matter” will serve to deter you from ‘revealing all’.

Of course, controlling your tongue is important in any circumstance, but how much more so when it concerns the man you have married. You two have ‘become one’ (Gen 2:21), and since you would not tell embarrassing things about yourself (or want your husband to do so), why gossip and belittle your husband – your other half? Together you make up a Godly unit that shadows God’s relationship with His Son, Jesus Christ. (1Co 11:3 – “… the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.”)

Among the many exhortations Paul was inspired to write for us, 2Ti 2:16 ranks highly. As this verse urges us to “shun profane and idle (vain in KJV) babblings”, certainly this type of discourse falls into the ‘vain’ or ‘idle’ category since its purpose by no means ‘edifies’ anyone. If our true goal is to become more Godly in our walk, by all means pray for God’s help to cleanse yourself from such action that “will increase unto more ungodliness.” (2Ti 2:16)

In pursuing your Godly walk, it is wise to remember (with no apologies to women’s libbers and fair-weather Christians) woman was created FOR man. (1Co 11:9). Should that knowledge make you feel demeaned? In no way!! Nor should any husband get the idea he is ‘better’ than his wife because he is her ‘head’! It is a beautiful thing when the creation of an inventor works according to its design. To be subject to your husband (Eph 5:22 – “Wives, submit to your own husband” as to the Lord.) glorifies God and raises your worth, not only to your husband, but to God. In the great scheme of things, remember Mat 12:36-37 so your words will be judged well. (But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.)

As another facet of trusting in you, how often do you have to say to your husband “Oh, honey, I forgot!”? Trust covers many areas. If a wife cannot be entrusted to help her husband by remembering to make important phone calls, pick up a needed item, etc., there will be “lack of gain”. That call might have been to a client, boss, supplier, whatever, and could have “saved the day”, but you ‘forgot’. Naturally in our busy lives we ALL forget things, but I am speaking here of intent. We are not discussing here a wife who ‘willfully’ is trying to sabotage her husband out of spite. An attitude of “I’m mad at him, so I’ll just pretend I forgot; that’ll show him!” only portrays an ungodly attitude.

If the reason you forget habitually is because you are spending your spare time daily on the phone to Mother, gossiping with your girlfriend, watching time-wasting soap operas, out shopping for ‘bargains’, then you are not putting God first in your life! We are assuming you are striving to be part of a God-centered team; and a wagon would not only get nowhere, but would be in danger of tipping over if the oxen drawing it did not pull together. In putting your husband above all others, his requests should be the ones you remember. In these times, there are so many pulls on your valuable time. Keep an organizer with you if necessary so you won’t have to say ‘I forgot’ so often.

Pro 31:13 – She seeks wool and flax, and willingly works with her hands.

Granted these days with the glut of stores around us, it is no longer necessary to do our own knitting and sewing of the family wardrobe. In fact, we now have a couple of generations of women that for the most part can’t even maintain the family wardrobe by sewing on a lost button or skillfully mending tears. While spinning your own sheep’s wool for yarn is no longer a necessary part of life as it was in days gone by, “working willingly” will never go out of style. Obviously this prototype lady held up for consideration is not a lazy person. She sees what needs to be done and does it.

Pro 31:14 She is like the merchant ships, she brings her food from afar.
Pro 31:15 She also rises while it is yet night, and provides food for her household, and a portion for her maidservants.

When one mentions food, a whole other discourse needs to be included if your idea of ‘food’ for your family is cold cereal with homogenized milk, hot dogs, hamburger ‘helped’ with white flour pasta, white bread and bologna sandwiches, TV dinners, french fries, etc. If so, you are not ‘feeding’ your family; you are poisoning them!! Strong language? Yes, but true. A book, or volume of books needs to be written on the subject of ‘real’ food alone. Thankfully, the information is out there for anyone who has “eyes to see and ears to hear”. It will take time and diligence to seek it out, but the physical health of you and your family hinges on what you feed them. If the preceding menu sounds like your daily fare, scour the internet for the much excellent advice which is out there for you to educate yourself on the subject. Don’t be “destroyed” (healthwise) for lack of knowledge. More importantly, she provides spiritual food for her children with a godly example of her life, discussing spiritual matters with them and showing the respect for her husband that we all should show to Christ.

For many of us, getting out of bed is the hardest part of the day. But consider:

Pro 6:10  A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to sleep
Pro 6:11  so shall your poverty come on you like a prowler, and your need like an armed man. (NKS)

Snooze alarms are a curse to a lazy person because it encourages ‘just a few minutes more’. Of course, we all understand there are those times the baby’s sick, or you are ill yourself or company kept you up late. The scripture is speaking here of your overall habit, not the occasional upset in your schedule. Too often we let these ‘occasions’ become excuses for bad habits. Examine why you don’t want to get out of bed in time to “provide food for your household”. Do you habitually stay up late watching TV? Turn it off! Go to bed! Do you toss and turn all night not sleeping well, then need a nap to get through the afternoon? Skip the nap and you’ll soon find you’ll have no problem getting a good night’s sleep.

A diet lacking in necessary nutrients will also make for fitful, poor quality sleep and no energy. For the single mom who must work to provide for her children, it can be very difficult. That deserves a whole other article by someone more experienced in dealing with it than this author.

We are addressing here specifically married (and planning to marry) Godly women. This “virtuous woman” and her hubby aren’t “doing too shabby” if she has maidservants. These days our helpers are dishwashers, washers and dryers, vacuum cleaners, etc. She may be wealthy, but she didn’t expect the servants to wait hand and foot on her.  She wisely delegates duties to her servants, so she has managerial skills. The word which in the King James version is translated ‘portion’ is the Hebrew word chôq which means ‘statutes’, ‘decrees’ or ‘tasks’, among other similar meanings.

As one reads through this chapter carefully, it is apparent this is one energetic lady! Clues to her energy and obvious good health are scattered throughout the chapter. The word “portion” (Strong’s #2706) is more often translated “task” or “statute” in the original Hebrew language. This section of the verse is not dealing with a portion of the aforementioned food. The “portion” for the maidservants (maids in KJV) is their “tasks” for the day. Our wise lady has organized her day as to what tasks should be accomplished by day’s end.

Pro 31:16 She girds herself with strength and strengthens her arms.

Obviously, if she’s planting and doing the ordinary running of a household of that day, this is not a weak, sickly wife. Bear in mind this chapter is dealing with an ideal that is a goal in spirit and application for which we should all strive. There are many fine Christian wives that God has chosen for His reasons to be burdened with a disability or chronic sickness. If you are one of these, of course we don’t expect to see you out hoeing the garden. God has given us all different abilities and strengths and expects us to use what we are given (Mat 25:15). In verse 23 of Matthew 25, the servant that was given two talents and doubled them received “well done” the same as the one given five talents. Does it not sound like this lady purposefully ensures she has the strength to perform her tasks? It does not say “her arms are strong” as though it’s merely a natural attribute. She…strengthens her arms. We can strengthen our arms (and the rest of us, too!) by making sure we exercise properly. This is not a vain thing to make sure we look good. Exercise, especially nowadays with all our modern conveniences to help us, is necessary to maintain our health; to “gird ourselves with strength”.

While the whole thrust of our accomplishments should be to “exercise” Christ in us (1Ti 4:7), verse 8 points out that “bodily exercise profits little.” There are two reasons that come to mind as to why it “profits little”. (KJV) First, this chapter in Timothy is dealing with our spiritual growth which leads to permanent, heavenly rewards. Secondly, as physical beings, our physical bodies need exercise on a regular basis to maintain proper health and strength. Exercise does our bodies good for just a little while, then we must do it again as the previous exercise is good only for a short time and we weaken and degenerate.

Pro 31:18 She perceives that her merchandise is good, and her lamp does not go out by night.
Pro 31:19. She stretches out her hand to the distaff, and her hand holds the spindle.

She could afford the oil for her lamps because her merchandise was good. In those times, it was common for ladies of rank to weave beautiful fabrics. They were a source of income. Honest work is not demeaning. Applying the lesson spiritually, we know she was a good, godly woman as “her lamp does not go out.” Verse 20 of Proverbs 24 tells us “The lamp of the wicked will be put out.”

Pro 31:20 She extends her hand to the poor, yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.

Notice those in need do not have to come begging to her – she “reaches out” to them when she perceives a need. The fact that this charity follows closely on her labors confirms Eph 4:28 – … let him labor, working with his hands what is good, that he may have something to give to him who has need. For the elect we know as the ‘christ of Christ’ we are not here to minister to ‘the world’, but should be reaching out in prayer and service to each other in Christ. That is not to say we should not help friends and neighbors when we see a need and can help.

Gal 6:10 As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith.

Pro 31:21 She is not afraid of snow for her household; for all her household is clothed with scarlet.

According to the Jamison, Fausset and Brown “Commentary on the Whole Bible” (JFB), this scarlet is actually “purple, by reason of the dyes used, the best fabrics; as a matter of taste also; the color suits cold.”

Pro 31:22 She makes tapestry for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple.

The ‘tapestry’ (coverings of tapestry – KJV) is bed coverings acording to JFB. (All you quilters, rejoice!) KJV says silk, but all other listings of this word use linen. Again, purple is indicative of “the most costly goods” again indicating her craftmanship was of excellent quality. (JFB)

Pro 31:23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land.

He can confidently take his place among community leaders knowing his household is being looked after well.  He can leave for work knowing, trusting his wife to manage things well in his absence.

Pro 31:24 She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies sashes for the merchants.

Sales of these “fine linen” (KJV) for garments and girdles (sashes – which were often costly and highly valued [JFB – See 2Sa 18:15) no doubt assisted her in “buying a field” and “bringing food from afar.”

Pro 31:25 Strength and honor are her clothing; she shall rejoice in time to come.

Obviously the first of this verse is a metaphor for her strong moral character. Spiritually her reward for her integrity will be a heavenly one “in time to come.”

Pro 31:26 She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness.

You won’t hear this fine lady wasting her time and character gossiping, cutting people down or acting shrewishly. Her advice is delivered gently with God’s word (true wisdom) backing her up. If you intend to live a lawful life, here is evidence of a law to which we can all adhere – kindness. Kindness is among the virtues we are admonished to add to our faith in 2Pe 1:7.

Pro 31:27 She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.

Tit 2:5 tells us that the older women should teach the younger women to be discreet (not loud or showing off childishly), chaste (in dress and action), homemakers (not an easy job granted, which some choose to escape by working outside the home, then use the job as an excuse for their lousy homemaking habits), good (a “pattern of good works” as in verse 7), obedient to their own husbands…” Whoa! Did that say obey?? Yes! We do not obey our husbands to necessarily please them, but to please God! Our submission to our husbands is not to belittle our position, but to point out the position of EVERY christian as it relates to Christ and God, the Father.

Eph 5:24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

God does not look kindly upon a lazy nature be it man or woman. Time after time, God speaks to us His mind on the subject. We may not want ants in our home, but God advises us to look to their example of industry.

Pro 6:6 Go to the ant, you sluggard! Consider her ways and be wise.

And again in 10:4 He [or she] who has a slack hand becomes poor… and many more verses in Proverbs and elsewhere encourage us to be diligent and avoid slothfulness.

Pro 12:24 The hand of the diligent will rule, but the lazy will be put to forced labor.

Pro 31:28 Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:
Pro 31:29  many daughters have done well, but you excel them all.

Those who know her the best know this is not a pretense or “show” of virtue their mother and wife put on as a “church act”, but as a part of her day-to-day Christian walk. She deserves the honor and praise they – and God – give to her. Can our spiritual husband, Christ, praise us?

Pro 31:30 Charm [JFB calls it “grace of personal manner”] is deceitful, and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
Pro 31:31. Give her of the fruit of her hands and let her own works praise her in the gates.

How is she praised in the gates? That’s where her husband can at times be found (vs 23), and he gladly “brags” on his wonderful wife. Don’t settle for slip-shod “wifesmanship”, but as Paul admonishes in Php 3:4 as God-led wives and mothers “press [strive] toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”

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