Marriage in Scripture – Part 7

You Shall Not Follow A Multitude To Do Evil

[Study Aired April 20, 2014]

How often have we all given in to the beast within, or to the pressures from the world without, and denied our Lord. Is there anyone who has never done so?

Rev 13:3  And I saw one of his heads as it were wounded to death; and his deadly wound was healed: and all the world wondered after the beast.

Rev 13:8  And all that dwell upon the earth shall worship [the beast], whose names are not written in the book of life of the Lamb slain from the foundation of the world.
Rev 13:9  If any man have an ear, let him hear.

God has blessed us to know that this ‘beast’ is not a man who doesn’t even exist until the very last generation of mankind before the beginning of the millennial reign of Christ. We have been blessed to understand that this ‘beast’ is, was and will be sitting on the throne of God, in the temple of God, in every generation of mankind. We have also been given eyes that see and ears to hear what “the temple of God” means:

1Co 3:16  Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?
1Co 3:17  If any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is holy, which temple ye are.

When we put these verses together with those verses in Revelation 13, only then are we able to understand how universal is the application of these verses to all men of all time:

2Th 2:3  Let no man deceive you by any means: for that day [“the day of the Lord… judgment upon the house of God”] shall not come, except there come a falling away first, and that man of sin be revealed, the son of perdition; 
2Th 2:4  Who opposeth and exalteth himself above all that is called God, or that is worshipped; so that he as God sitteth in the temple of God, shewing himself that he is God. 

Just as Christ’s original apostles denied their own Savior and “fell away” before “the day of the Lord” came to them, so also every man who will ever live will do the same and experience “a falling away first, [before] that man of sin… the son of perdition [is] revealed to [to be] sitting in the temple of God… which temple [we all] are… showing himself that he is God”. Even so our children will also succumb to the same pressures, which will be exerted upon them through the pressures of society without, which so appeal to the beast, the man of sin, the son of perdition within, and they will deny what they have been taught, and they will disappoint us, just as we and Christ’s apostles have all disappointed Him, before they are granted to remain faithful to the doctrine of Christ.

This “day of the Lord” is only delayed if we raise our children up to believe that being different is not good for their psyche. That is a lie! It is good for a child to be different from a multitude when that multitude is wanting to do evil:

Exo 23:2  Thou shalt not follow a multitude to do evil; neither shalt thou speak in a cause to decline after many to wrest judgment:

The whole world has “decline[d] after many to wrest [the] judgment” of those words, and most people prefer their children go along with the multitude. This world, for example, considers anyone who thinks it is a sin to dress your child up as a little devil and go from door to door threatening your neighbors to inflict a ‘trick’ if not given a ‘treat’ is an extremist who just doesn’t want children to have any fun.

Yes, ‘following a multitude to do evil’ is exactly what we are doing when we bow to the pressure of the what the scriptures specifically refer to as “the traditions of men, [and] the elements of the world”. When, meaning at what stage of our spiritual walk, are we told we will “follow a multitude to do evil”? Here is what we are told:

Gal 4:3  Even so we, when we were children, were in bondage under the elements of the world: 

To what exactly is Paul referring? The Greek word translated as ‘children’ here in Gal 4:3 is ‘nepios’, which must never be confused with the Greek word ‘uihos’ which is also carelessly translated with the same English word, ‘children’.

Here is a much better translation of that Greek word ‘nepios’:

1Co 3:1  And I, brethren, could not speak unto you as unto spiritual, but as unto carnal, even as unto babes [Greek, nepios] in Christ.
1Co 3:2  I have fed you with milk, and not with meat: for hitherto ye were not able to bear it, neither yet now are ye able.
1Co 3:3  For ye are yet carnal: for whereas there is among you envying, and strife, and divisions, are ye not carnal, and walk as men?
1Co 3:4  For while one saith, I am of Paul; and another, I am of Apollos; are ye not carnal?

The fact these Corinthian Christians were divided over personalities indicated to the apostle Paul that they were yet “carnal… babes in Christ. Our children, even when they hear our words and receive them with joy, are “yet carnal… babes in Christ… and [will] walk as men” before they will become the mature ‘uihos’ of these verses:

Rom 8:19  For the earnest expectation of the creature waiteth for the manifestation of the sons Ele of God. 
Rom 8:20  For the creature was made subject to vanity, not willingly, but by reason of him who hath subjected the same in hope,
Rom 8:21  Because the creature itself also shall be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God.
Rom 8:22  For we know that the whole creation groaneth and travaileth in pain together until now.
Rom 8:23  And not only they, but ourselves also, which have the firstfruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting for the adoption [Greek – uihosthesia, mature sonship], to wit, the redemption of our body.

Here is Galatians 4:3 as it is stated in the book of Proverbs:

Pro 22:6  Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

“When he is old, he will not depart from it” is just another way of telling us that “a child [will] depart from… the way he should go” some time before “he is old[er]”. The sad truth is that we all must live by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God (Mat 4:4 and Luk 4:4), and we will all be “children… in bondage under the elements of the world” before we become “the manifestation of the sons [Greek – uihos, mature sons] of God, [who are not] in bondage under the elements of the world”.

Gal 4:3  Even so we, when we were children, were in bondage under the elements of the world:

These “elements of this world” that keep us in bondage while we are children are clearly defined for us:

Gal 4:9  But now, after that ye have known God, or rather are known of God, how turn ye again to the weak and beggarly elements, whereunto ye desire again to be in bondage?
Gal 4:10  Ye observe days, and months, and times, and years. 
Gal 4:11  I am afraid of you, lest I have bestowed upon you labour in vain.

The esteeming of one day above another is one of the most effective pressures to teach our children that we need to conform to the traditions of men, and “follow a multitude to do evil;”

Exo 23:2  Thou shalt not follow a multitude to do evil; neither shalt thou speak in a cause to decline after many to wrest judgment:

“The traditions of men” expressed in the “day’s, months, seasons, and years” observed by men are made to sound so innocent to the multitudes of mankind that we ignore Christ’s example, and rather than be made to appear different from the rest of society, as our Lord did, we “decline after many to wrest [our Lord’s] judgment [and] esteem every day alike” as He did.

Our children are pressured by our godless society to dress up as little demons on one day of the year, then we even lie to them about rabbits laying eggs, and we lie again and tell them that a fat man dressed in a red suit knows everything they do and will withhold gifts from them if they are naughty. Is it harmful to the psyche of our children to abstain from these “traditions of men”? Absolutely not!

What is it the scriptures specifically warn us:

Col 2:8  Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ.
Col 2:9  For in him dwelleth all the fulness of the Godhead bodily. 

It is instructive to know that the phrase in these verses, “the rudiments of this world” is the exact same Greek phrase translated as “the elements of the world” in Gal 4:3. Both referring to “the traditions of men [specifically the] observ[ing of] days, months, seasons, and years”.

Just to demonstrate the incredible pressure these pagan traditions of men have upon us and upon our children, after pointing out these verses of scripture to people within our fellowship, I have had parents ask me, ‘Are you telling me that I am supposed to tell the teachers at school that my child cannot take part in drawing names for Christmas gifts, Valentine’s Day cards, and Easter gifts?’ The answer is “Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ. For in him dwelleth all the fulness of the Godhead bodily.”

What you as a parent do with your children is between you and God, but what the scriptures say is what I must teach, and those verses tell us to follow the philosophy and traditions of Christ as opposed to the philosophy and traditions of men.

Here is what Christ did as it pertains to the observance of days, months, seasons and years:

Joh 5:16  And therefore did the Jews persecute Jesus, and sought to slay him, because he had done these things on the sabbath day.
Joh 5:17  But Jesus answered them, My Father worketh hitherto, and I work.
Joh 5:18  Therefore the Jews sought the more to kill him, because he not only had broken the sabbath, but said also that God was his Father, making himself equal with God.

What are the two main reasons we are told the Jews wanted Christ dead? The two reasons we are given in these verses is that “He had broken the sabbath, but said also that God was his Father, making Himself equal with God.” A child that is encouraged by his parents to conform to the traditions of men will be at a disadvantage when it comes to standing with our Lord who “esteemed every day alike”.

Rom 14:1  Him that is weak in the faith receive ye, but not to doubtful disputations.
Rom 14:2  For one believeth that he may eat all things: another, who is weak, eateth herbs.
Rom 14:3  Let not him that eateth despise him that eateth not; and let not him which eateth not [is weak in the faith] judge him that eateth [is strong in the faith]: for God hath received him.
Rom 14:4  Who art thou that judgest another man’s servant? to his own master he standeth or falleth. Yea, he shall be holden up: for God is able to make him stand.
Rom 14:5  One man esteemeth one day above another [those who are not able to follow in Christ’s steps]: another esteemeth every day alike. Let every man be fully persuaded in his own mind.

Who is it that “judges another man’s servant”? It is the whole Christian world who “esteems one day above another”. And what are we told of those who are weak in the faith and “esteem one day above another”? We are told is that they are “in bondage to… the weak and beggarly elements [of] observ[ing] days, month, seasons, and years”, and they cannot yet follow Christ’s example and “esteem every day alike”.

“Weak in the faith” means that a brother or sister has heard of Christ and has received Him as best he or she is able, but has no concept of being “crucified with Christ… because He broke the sabbath and claimed to be the Son of God”.

Our little children have no concept of “dying daily” and being “crucified with Christ” either, but to teach them to conform to “the traditions of men is no way to prepare them for being “persecuted [and] hated of all men” which is guaranteed to “all who will live godly in Christ Jesus”.

Mat 10:22  And ye shall be hated of all men for my name’s sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved.

Christ’s “name’s sake” is His doctrine and His footsteps and His example. All who follow His example are promised persecution from the established Christian world:

2Ti 3:12  Yea, and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution.

No child who is sheltered from this persecution will know what it means to “live godly in Christ Jesus”, and the parents who are more concerned with their children being accepted by the other children in the school than they are with teaching their child to expect to be hated of all men and to expect to be persecuted by the religious establishment, are not teaching their children what is the Biblical “love of God”, which love is the enemy of the carnal mind of every man who has ever been born:

Rom 8:7  Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be.

1Jn 5:2  By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God, and keep his commandments.
1Jn 5:3  For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous.

It is nothing less than offering our children to the fires of Moloch when we encourage them to conform to society and observes society’s days, months, times and years, whether those traditions are Jewish or pagan.

Deu 18:10  There shall not be found among you any one that maketh his son or his daughter to pass through the fire, or that useth divination, or an observer of times, or an enchanter, or a witch,

2Ki 21:6  And he [Manesseh] made his son pass through the fire, and observed times, and used enchantments, and dealt with familiar spirits and wizards: he wrought much wickedness in the sight of the LORD, to provoke him to anger.

Gal 4:9  But now, after that ye have known God, or rather are known of God, how turn ye again to the weak and beggarly elements, whereunto ye desire again to be in bondage?
Gal 4:10  Ye observe days, and months, and times, and years. 
Gal 4:11  I am afraid of you, lest I have bestowed upon you labour in vain.

But the esteeming of days is just one of so many temptations which our society and our culture place upon our children. Any child who is not dressed in style is again made to feel different and an outcast from society. This is especially hard on young girls and our sisters in Christ who are expected, when the fashion dictates, to show cleavage and midriff and to dress as a harlot. If we place no boundaries on our daughters when it comes to following dress fashions, and we let them follow a multitude to do evil and dress like a harlot, then we need not be surprised if they become harlots.

A brother just this past week told me his grandson had brought home a paper from his school which his grandson was expected to sign, proclaiming a day of silence for the homosexual life style. His teenage grandson was expected to sign the paper and make it known to the school officials that he was on board with school officials, and he accepts their values as his values. It doesn’t seem possible that this is taking place in this country, but that is the trial the Lord has given us (Eph 1:11), and that is what our children are facing. Are you going to teach your children that they ought to conform to society, or will you teach your children that following Christ will cause them to be hated of all men? Will you relinquish your child’s values to the state? If you are willing to do that, then you have forfeited your position of  headship in your home to the principle of your school in direct contradiction to the commandments of God:

Psa 40:10  I have not hid thy righteousness within my heart; I have declared thy faithfulness and thy salvation: I have not concealed thy lovingkindness and thy truth from the great congregation. 

1Ti 3:4  One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity;
1Ti 3:5  (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)

1Ti 5:8  But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel. 

Heb 3:6  But Christ as a son over his own house; whose house are we, if we hold fast the confidence and the rejoicing of the hope firm unto the end.

“I have declared thy salvation”, God’s salvation, is salvation from sin. A godly man does not relinquish headship of “his house” to anyone. His head is Christ, and he will not let Christ be replaced by a corrupt, spineless, school principal, who very likely agrees with, or else is afraid of losing his job if he stands up to such perversion on a national level. As parents we must “be of the same mind”, father with mother, and be prepared to stand with Christ when we are ordered to disobey God and “follow a multitude to do evil [and] wrest judgment”. Do not think that  “traditions of men” are the end. Neither think that homosexual rights is the end. I have seen the declaration of the European Union that they intend to teach children the benefits of same sex unions and of masturbation. If you thought homosexuality would never be approved of by governments, you and I were both wrong. The adversary is not interested in just ‘tolerating’ all this perversion. The adversary will insist that we ‘celebrate’ these godless actions which historically have preceded the downfall of all great nations.

Another insidious trial that is so effectively robbing us of our children, is video games. All too often this scourge robs us of any claim of being a godly leader. Allowing children to live on a phone or an i-pad while playing video games teaches that child to be self-centered, and antisocial. Adults too, are just as susceptible to this weakness. It seems incredible that we could be ruled by such a habit which robs us of time to be godly fathers and mothers to our own precious children. Worthless video games rob us of  time that ought to be spent with our spouse or our children or our Lord or His body. That is what video games have the power to do to some of us. This is a curse to which some of us have confessed on our body e-mails. Our prayers are with any who are suffering under this burden. The adversary has been given dust for his nourishment, and that is the composition of all men. Satan has been commissioned to “try… my servant Job”, and you and I are Job. God has given Satan the commission of showing each of us what is our own ‘wood, hay, and stubble’, and God is in the process of burning out of each of us any wood, hay or stubble which is still within us. It is not called ‘fire’ for no reason. The purging of our spiritually combustible hearts is an excruciatingly painful experience, but it is a battle that must be fought diligently and consistently and daily.

2Co 4:16  For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day. 

When we do the best we can with our children, we will still experience the heartache of watching them do exactly what we have done. The story of the prodigal son has proceeded directly from the mouth of our Lord Himself. Therefore it is a simple truth that we are all prodigal in our own time and in our own way (Luk 15:11-32). Our children simply cannot skip their own prodigal experience.

Peter’s denial of his Lord is common to all of us. Our children are no exception to that experience either.

The book of Revelation tells us ‘blessed is he that reads, hears, and keeps those things which are written therein, for the time is at hand’ to do so:

Rev 1:3  Blessed is he that readeth, and they that hear the words of this prophecy, and keep those things which are written therein: for the time is at hand. 

Here is part of “those things which are written therein” in the very next chapter:

Rev 2:4  Nevertheless I have somewhat against thee, because thou hast left thy first love.

So we all “leave [our] first love”. That is what the prodigal son did, but “when we are old[er] we will not depart from it”.

So what is it that is so powerful that it causes us all to “leave [our] first love”, become a prodigal son, and have to come back to our Lord “when we are old[er]”?

This is the answer to that question:

1Jn 2:16  For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.

It is “all that is in the world” that causes us all to deny Christ, leave our first love, and waste our substance on riotous living.

God does not call His people ‘sheep’ for no particular reason. He calls us His sheep, because mankind, whether in rebellion to Him and His ways or in obedience to Him and His ways, are like sheep who are so easily led by their hireling shepherds to do ‘follow a multitude to do evil and to wrest judgment’.

Summary

The natural man is predestined to precede the new spiritual man. That is why we are admonished:

Mat 26:41 Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.

It is because “the flesh is weak that we are reminded:

Gal 4:8  Howbeit then, when ye knew not God, ye did service unto them which by nature are no gods.
Gal 4:9  But now, after that ye have known God, or rather are known of God, how turn ye again to the weak and beggarly elements, whereunto ye desire again to be in bondage? 
Gal 4:10  Ye observe days, and months, and times, and years. 
Gal 4:11  I am afraid of you, lest I have bestowed upon you labour in vain.

Col 2:8  Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ. 

We are the example of Christ to our children, and how we act under the pressures of society will determine in large part how our children will respond when placed under the pressures of the weak, evil beast within, who just naturally craves the approbation and the acceptance of the world without.

It is a rare parent indeed who sees the value of teaching their children from their youth the value of being different from their peers. The way this is often first experienced by all who are granted the spiritual strength to follow in the footsteps of Christ is to show your children how our Lord Himself set us the example of “esteeming every day alike”, by treating the weekly sabbath as just another work day. Christ did that in obedience to His Father’s commandment:

Joh 8:28  Then said Jesus unto them, When ye have lifted up the Son of man, then shall ye know that I am he, and that I do nothing of myself; but as my Father hath taught me, I speak these things. 

That is the example and the principle by which we are to approach any and everything we do. If “in all [our] ways [we] acknowledge [Him], then we will follow His example and walk in His steps:

1Pe 2:21  For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps:

Here is what that willingness to be obedient to His Father brought upon Christ:

Joh 5:16  And therefore did the Jews persecute Jesus, and sought to slay him, because he had done these things on the sabbath day. 
Joh 5:17  But Jesus answered them, My Father worketh hitherto, and I work.
Joh 5:18  Therefore the Jews sought the more to kill him, because he not only had broken the sabbath, but said also that God was his Father, making himself equal with God.

Christ could have avoided much persecution by simply keeping the weekly sabbath, but that was not what His Father had commanded Him, and that was not the example He gave us. Instead He was willing to die to obey His Father instead of following the traditions which He Himself had given to Israel before His own “times of reformation”.

Heb 9:10  Which stood only in meats and drinks, and divers washings, and carnal ordinances [including “esteeming one day above another”], imposed on them until the time of reformation. 

As Christ’s example demonstrates for us, it is good to be different when that difference is something that makes us more like Christ. It is very difficult for children to overcome the natural sheep instinct within all men to conform to the ways of this world. It is hard enough to be different when your parents set you a good example. It is very unlikely any child will be willing to follow Christ when his parents don’t. That is why we are told:

Exo 23:2  Thou shalt not follow a multitude to do evil; neither shalt thou speak in a cause to decline after many to wrest judgment:

Pro 24:10  If thou faint in the day of adversity, thy strength is small.

Ecc 7:14  In the day of prosperity be joyful, but in the day of adversity consider: God also hath set the one over against the other, to the end that man should find nothing after him.

There is no “day of adversity” when we fit in with the customs and traditions of man and never have to know any real adversity, such as our Lord experienced by “esteeming every day alike” instead of bowing to the pressure to conform to the ways of this world.

Women and girls who are pressured to keep up with what is the very latest style must seek first the kingdom of God and have faith that God will reward them for being willing to resist and reject the pressures of society to conform to the immodest styles of this age. The styles of this age just naturally demand that we abandon all modesty and give ourselves and our children over to the current fashions in entertainment and in apparel. For all who are given to receive it, this is the mind of the spirit on this subject. These are His words which will not pass away:

1Ti 2:9  In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1Ti 2:10  But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.

When it comes to entertainment and movies, what used to be considered X-rated is now considered to be PG, or simply in need of parental guidance. What used to be considered risque is now considered to be modest apparel. It is the style in our modern society for women to show ever more cleavage and ever more skin. So mothers must set an example for their daughters, and not cave in to the demands of society and dress their little innocent girls to look like hookers.

No one has ever heard me say one word about the exact length of a woman’s dress or her hair, and Lord willing, you never will. Nevertheless we all know what is and what is not “modest apparel”, and exposing yours or your daughter’s midriff, and half of yours or your daughters breasts, is definitely not “adorning [your]selves in modest apparel with shamefacedness and sobriety”. Many church-going people today have absolutely no use for 1Ti 2:9. It just sounds completely obsolete to many. We have allowed ourselves to see so much perversion on TV and in movies and on our computers, that we have forgotten the truth that is this verse of scripture:

Mat 24:35  Heaven and earth shall pass away, but my words shall not pass away.

So Truth is not relevant to the time in which it is spoken. Truth is always true and it does not change with the times.

Here is what the scriptures teach us concerning our eyes in every age:

Pro 27:20  Hell and destruction are never full; so the eyes of man are never satisfied. 

Ecc 1:8  All things are full of labour; man cannot utter it: the eye is not satisfied with seeing, nor the ear filled with hearing.

Mat 6:22  The light of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light.
Mat 6:23  But if thine eye be evil, thy whole body shall be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in thee be darkness, how great is that darkness!

1Jn 2:16  For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.

We must guard what we allow to enter into our eyes. “The light of the body is the eye”.

Let no one “who is called a brother” or a sister, ever be guilty of offering his son or his daughter upon the altar of conforming to the ways of this world to avoid the adversity known as “the offense of the cross”.

Luk 6:46  And why call ye me, Lord, Lord, and do not the things which I say? 

1Co 1:18  For the preaching of the cross is to them that perish foolishness; but unto us which are saved it is the power of God.

Gal 5:11  And I, brethren, if I yet preach circumcision, why do I yet suffer persecution? then is the offence of the cross ceased. 

“The offence of the cross” certainly includes “do[ing] the things [our Lord] says” in all the admonitions we have seen in this study today.

Hi there again, Mike,

It is late here, brother (11 p. m.), and I cannot sleep at the moment, so I have decided to email you and ask for your wise input on a subject if I may.

It is regarding what our attitudes should be toward our natural family. By “natural family”, I do not mean my wife and my children whom I love and cherish every waking day. I mean my natural born siblings, uncles, aunts and grandparents, etc.

I had a big falling out with my brother several years ago now regarding him insulting my wife and then not making amends for it. It’s a long story, so I won’t go into details, but needless to say, the fact that I put my wife before my brother and set firm boundaries has soured the relationship between not only him and me but my other siblings and extended family as well. “Blood is thicker than water” is the line that has been thrown at me from left, right and center, and as the years have passed, I have honestly come to think that my siblings and extended family really are not “family” at all, and I really do not care for them one way or the other. We no longer speak to each other, and recently I saw my brother up here in a restaurant (he must have been up here on holidays as he lives in another state). When I saw him, I simply shrugged my shoulders and kept on walking.

My mother passed away when I was young, and my father is both a pedophile and a violent man, and I ran away from home when I was 14. I have not seen him since, nor do I intend on seeing him again or re-establish contact with him. I forgive him, but at the same time, wisdom dictates to me that my own family’s safety is more important that dredging up the demons of the past where he is concerned.

My father’s parents are quite honestly the most “evil” people I have ever met, my father’s mother especially, and likewise, I have not laid eyes on them for over 18 years.

My mother’s parents were obviously shattered at losing their daughter and have never gotten over it. Instead they have become very bitter people and have barely said a kind word to me since I hit my late teen years. They were invited to my wedding, but declined the invitation and have never shown an interest in our relationship.

I say all of this in an effort to try to be as honest as I can with you, Mike. However my question is: do you think I am being hard-hearted in that I feel I have no connection whatsoever with my natural “blood” relatives? Should I make an effort with them, or do I “let sleeping dogs lie”? I realize it may be hard for you to give specific answers here, but if any scriptures come to mind I would appreciate the input. I honestly feel more connection to yourself (even though we have never physically met) and others of the same Christ-like mind than I ever have with my own “flesh and blood”.

Thank you for reading, Mike. I look forward to your input. Will try and get some sleep now; work tomorrow!

B____

Wow! B____,

What a story! Thank you for sharing it with me.

I am from a broken home, and my very orthodox father taught my four brothers and sister and me to hate our mother, but he always loved all of us, and my grandparents on both sides were exemplary pillars of the community, as far as I have ever heard.

My mother had an adulterous affair with the minister of the Pentecostal church we attended, and when I was in the third grade, my parents divorced. My father was the first man in the history of the state of Ohio to get full custody of his children. Sadly for him, he honestly believed that Rom 7:1 forbade him from ever getting married as long as my mother was alive. So he never remarried, and he had six children to raise.

Rom 7:1  Know ye not, brethren, (for I speak to them that know the law), how that the law hath dominion over a man as long as he liveth?
Rom 7:2  For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of [her] husband.
Rom 7:3  So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.

Dad knew nothing of “the sum of thy word”, and the Lord simply never let him see this verse, even though we read through the entire Bible systematically.

1Co 7:14  For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
1Co 7:15  But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.

I will not bore you with the details, but he placed us separately in the homes of his brothers, and my brother just older than me and I ended up with Dad’s sister and her husband. I was ten at that time. The worst thing I ever experienced was my aunt’s husband picking me up by my head and throwing me across the room when his son and I got into an argument.

So you can understand that my brothers and I were never reared together from the third grade on, and I was never very close to any of them for that reason. But we have always been very civil with each other, and I cannot imagine not even speaking to any of them even though most of them have made it clear that they think I am a heretic and at times would not speak to me.

I have a half-sister and a half-brother who are children of the Pentecostal minister with my mother after they married. I never met this half-brother until I graduated from college, but my mother eventually moved to the Atlanta area, and I got to know him. He was always in and out of trouble/jail, and my mother always bailed him out. It took many long painful years for all of us who attempted to help this brother to learn that helping him amounted to nothing less than enabling him to continue his cocaine habit.

I struggled with that because we are to love our enemies (Mat 5:44, Luk 6:27). But my spiritual struggles with false brothers and the fact that we are told to “mark that person and have no company with him” have helped me to understand that there is a time to “have no company” with both physical and spiritual brothers.

My story doesn’t begin to compare to yours, but I just wanted you to know that I, too, have had my struggles with my family. I also will not discuss the scriptures at all with my own older daughter and her husband or my older sons, simply because they all are adamantly opposed to what I see in scripture.

Like you, I am much closer to you than I am to any of my brothers, other than Lonnie, who is also a believer. Here is why that is so.

Mar 3:33  And he answered them, saying, Who is my mother, or my brethren?
Mar 3:34  And he looked round about on them which sat about him, and said, Behold my mother and my brethren!
Mar 3:35  For whosoever shall do the will of God, the same is my brother, and my sister, and mother.

“Blood is thicker than water” is not a biblical phrase, but it is a biblical principle when the blood is Christ’s blood and the water is the waters on which the great whore sits. But Christ also did not neglect to prepare for the care of His mother after His death. It seems He was the one who bore the responsibility for her care as on the cross he told John this:

Joh 19:26 When Jesus therefore saw his mother, and the disciple standing by, whom he loved, he saith unto his mother, Woman, behold thy son!
Joh 19:27 Then saith he to the disciple, Behold thy mother! And from that hour that disciple took her unto his own [home].

You are right! It is hard to be specific about your personal relations with individuals in your family who I know nothing about, but I can show you what the scriptures say, and as far as your wife is concerned, the scriptures say this:

Mat 19:4  And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made [them] at the beginning made them male and female,
Mat 19:5  And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
Mat 19:6  Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

Your wife should be to you what the church is to Christ. You were absolutely right to place her above the relationships of your physical family.

Eph 5:25  Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Eph 5:26  That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
Eph 5:27  That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
Eph 5:28  So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
Eph 5:29  For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
Eph 5:30  For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
Eph 5:31  For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

Your wife is the most important person to you in the world next to God Himself. You two should be more important to each other than even your own parents. Your spouse should, in scriptural terms, come before any of your children. It is a sad commentary on how far we are from God that children have become the center of the family, and that many adults live their lives, not to please their mates or their heavenly Father, but to serve and please their own children. This action just reinforces the child’s natural, carnal nature to be totally self-serving and inconsiderate.

Isa 3:12  As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them. O my people, they which lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy the way of thy paths.

We are to be careful that no “root of bitterness” spring up in our hearts and minds toward anyone.

Heb 12:15  Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;

The word “many” tells us that most people do fall prey to this temptation to become bitter. But we are at the same time to “look well to the flock, [family] over which the Lord has made us overseers.

Act 20:27  For I have not shunned to declare unto you all the counsel of God.
Act 20:28  Take heed therefore unto yourselves, and to all the flock, over the which the Holy Ghost hath made you overseers, to feed the church of God, which he hath purchased with his own blood.
Act 20:29  For I know this, that after my departing shall grievous wolves enter in among you, not sparing the flock.
Act 20:30  Also of your own selves shall men arise, speaking perverse things, to draw away disciples after them.

“All the counsel of God” includes both, “look diligently… lest any root of bitterness spring up,” and it is also “take heed to yourselves and the flock…”

If your father is a known pedophile, then you do not want your children to ever, under any circumstances, to be alone with him for as much as a second. It might be okay for them to meet him under your own supervision, but it would be nothing less than gross negligence to let him spend one minute alone with any of your children if he is indeed a pedophile.

There is a time and place for not seeking out the company of those who seek to destroy us and our Lord.

2Th 3:14  And if any man obey not our word by this epistle, note that man, and have no company with him, that he may be ashamed.
2Th 3:15  Yet count him not as an enemy, but admonish [him] as a brother.

My own daughter and son-in-law and my older sons are not my enemies, but I will do the admonishing, and if that is not acceptable to them, then we will “have no company.”

I hope I have said something which will edify you in some way and give you some guidance and comfort of mind in how you should relate to your physical siblings and your parents and uncles and aunts and cousins. We are to love all men. But that love never comes between us and obeying our heavenly Father.

1Jn 5:2  By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God, and keep his commandments.
1Jn 5:3  For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous.
Luk 6:46  And why call ye me, Lord, Lord, and do not the things which I say?

God bless you and your wife as you seek to know His mind in all things.

Your brother in Christ,

Mike