God Has Joined A Couple Together?

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

Hi R____,
Thank you for your question. You ask:
“Where does marriage begin, and where does it end. How does it start?… is one married when he has gone to the other party` s parents and suggested the same and gone through the paper/ traditional work? When does one say ‘OK, this God has put together’?”
Asking me whether I can tell you “OK, this God has put together” is like asking me who exactly are God’s elect? That I would never presume to answer.
The twelve apostles stuck with Jesus after all others had forsaken Him. One might very well assume that none of these men will ever separate from Christ. But what actually happened?

Joh 6:67  Then said Jesus unto the twelve, Will ye also go away?
Joh 6:68  Then Simon Peter answered him, Lord, to whom shall we go? thou hast the words of eternal life.
Joh 6:69  And we believe and are sure that thou art that Christ, the Son of the living God.
Joh 6:70  Jesus answered them, Have not I chosen you twelve, and one of you is a devil?
Joh 6:71  He spake of Judas Iscariot [ the son] of Simon: for he it was that should betray him, being one of the twelve.

Yes, Judas, who was an apostle of Christ, ended up betraying Christ. Not one of the apostles suspected that Judas would betray Christ. Yet it had been determined “before the world began” that Judas would do what God had “determined beforehand to be done” when he betrayed Christ to the chief priest and elders of Israel.

Act 4:26  The kings of the earth stood up, and the rulers were gathered together against the Lord, and against his Christ.
Act 4:27  For of a truth against thy holy child Jesus, whom thou hast anointed, both Herod, and Pontius Pilate, with the Gentiles, and the people of Israel, were gathered together,
Act 4:28  For to do whatsoever thy hand and thy counsel determined before to be done.

God had determined beforehand that it was “Judas who should betray Him, being one of the twelve.”
Paul, on the other hand was God’s elect from “before the world began,” even though we first come to know of him as he is seeking to kill the followers of Christ:

Act 9:1  And Saul, yet breathing out threatenings and slaughter against the disciples of the Lord, went unto the high priest,
Act 9:2  And desired of him letters to Damascus to the synagogues, that if he found any of this way, whether they were men or women, he might bring them bound unto Jerusalem.

Paul’s will was to destroy Christianity in its infancy. We all know how far Paul’s will took Him:

Act 9:3  And as he journeyed, he came near Damascus: and suddenly there shined round about him a light from heaven:
Act 9:4  And he fell to the earth, and heard a voice saying unto him, Saul, Saul, why persecutest thou me?
Act 9:5  And he said, Who art thou, Lord? And the Lord said, I am Jesus whom thou persecutest: [ it is] hard for thee to kick against the pricks.
Act 9:6  And he trembling and astonished said, Lord, what wilt thou have me to do? And the Lord [ said] unto him, Arise, and go into the city, and it shall be told thee what thou must do.

So much for man’s vaunted ‘free’ will as far as the scriptures are concerned.
As far as your concern with legal papers is concerned, there is something similar to this in scripture inasmuch as a man had to buy his bride from her father under the law of Moses and throughout the Old Testament:

Gen 29:20  And Jacob served seven years for Rachel; and they seemed unto him [ but] a few days, for the love he had to her.
Gen 29:21  And Jacob said unto Laban, Give [ me] my wife, for my days are fulfilled, that I may go in unto her.

“Give me my wife, for my days are fulfilled…” Jacob served His father- in- law seven years for each of his two wives. In both cases there was a very public marriage celebration just as there was in the New Testament. Christ Himself took part in one such marriage and gave it His blessing by turning over 250 gallons of water into the best wine ever made:

Joh 2:1  And the third day there was a marriage in Cana of Galilee; and the mother of Jesus was there:
Joh 2:2  And both Jesus was called, and his disciples, to the marriage.
Joh 2:6  And there were set there six waterpots of stone, after the manner of the purifying of the Jews, containing two or three firkins apiece. [250 gallons]
Joh 2:7  Jesus saith unto them, Fill the waterpots with water. And they filled them up to the brim.
Joh 2:8  And he saith unto them, Draw out now, and bear unto the governor of the feast. And they bare [ it].
Joh 2:9  When the ruler of the feast had tasted the water that was made wine, and knew not whence it was: (but the servants which drew the water knew;) the governor of the feast called the bridegroom,
Joh 2:10  And saith unto him, Every man at the beginning doth set forth good wine; and when men have well drunk, then that which is worse: [ but] thou hast kept the good wine until now.

That was a gift which that couple no doubt appreciated very much. But what this also shows is that Christ had placed His approval upon that very public way of declaring oneself to be the spouse of another. Christ also pointed out that God “from the beginning intended mankind to be the husband of one wife” and He told that Pharisees that divorce was permitted only because of “the hardness of your hearts.” We have no reason to believe that the hearts of men are any less hard today than in Christ’s day. In fact we have every reason to think otherwise:

2Ti 3:13  But evil men and seducers shall wax worse and worse, deceiving, and being deceived.
Mat 19:3  The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?
Mat 19:4  And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made [ them] at the beginning made them male and female,
Mat 19:5  And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
Mat 19:6  Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
Mat 19:7  They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?
Mat 19:8  He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.

There is no scripture for disobeying the law of the land when it comes to getting married. What would be the advantage of failing to make one’s marriage legal. There are exceptions to everything but statistically only 15 percent of  those who live together before marriage have an enduring marriage. Sexual compatibility is  not the only factor to be considered in marriage. It certainly ought to be considered, and all couples who intend to get married ought to seek competent counseling concerning what makes for an enduring marriage. But in the end it is commitment to a vow made to God by both parties, in Christ, before witnesses, to love and be faithful only to each other that makes for a marriage which has been joined together by God.
God tells us what is the beginning, and He tells us what is the end. He even tells us that we “must live by every word which proceeds out of the mouth of God.” But the details of exactly how that will be accomplished in every life is to be found only by “working out your own salvation with fear and trembling.”

Php 2:10  That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of [ things] in heaven, and [ things] in earth, and [ things] under the earth;
Php 2:11  And [ that] every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ [ is] Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
Php 2:12  Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.
Php 2:13  For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of [ his] good pleasure.

“Every knee should bow” tells us that Christ will save all. “God works in you both to will and to do of His good pleasure” tells us that our very thoughts, our will and our actions are all within “what He has determined beforehand to be done.” But “work out your own salvation” tells us that He has not taken us into His confidence to the extent that we do not need to live by faith. God has not revealed to us what tomorrow holds for us. We still must live by faith. We are rather to say “if God wills we will do this or that.”

Jas 4:13  Go to now, ye that say, To day or to morrow we will go into such a city, and continue there a year, and buy and sell, and get gain:
Jas 4:14  Whereas ye know not what [ shall be] on the morrow. For what [ is] your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.
Jas 4:15  For that ye [ ought] to say, If the Lord will, we shall live, and do this, or that.
Jas 4:16  But now ye rejoice in your boastings: all such rejoicing is evil.
Jas 4:17  Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth [ it] not, to him it is sin.

This whole subject is covered in depth in the paper on the site entitled The Law of Moses Versus The Law of The Spirit. Read that paper and you will see what Christ taught about marriage in the New Testament.
I hope this serves to give you some direction, and I hope I have answered your questions. If not please get back to me.

Other related posts