What Are The Biblical Instructions For Finding A Wife? – Part 2


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Marriage in Scripture Series

What Are The Biblical Instructions For Finding A Wife?

 

Pro 18:22 Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.

Last week we saw that the purpose for the institution of marriage is to show us the “the invisible things of God, even His eternal power and God head” (Rom 1:20). We learned that “the head of every man is Christ; and that the head of the woman is the man, [demonstrating for us that] the head of Christ is God.”

1Co 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Christ never once did or said anything that was other than what His Head wanted:

Joh 8:28 Then said Jesus unto them, When ye have lifted up the Son of man, then shall ye know that I am he, and that I do nothing of myself; but as my Father hath taught me, I speak these things.

What this teaches us is that every time we say or do anything contrary to our Father, Christ’s Words, we are denying our Lord, who never did anything of Himself, but did everything He did “as His Father taught Him”.

Joh 12:26 If any man serve me, let him follow me; and where I am, there shall also my servant be: if any man serve me, him will my Father honour.

Joh 14:21 He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him.

We, too, are taught of our Father, and here is how our Father, Christ, teaches us:

Luk 10:16 He that heareth you heareth me; and he that despiseth you despiseth me; and he that despiseth me despiseth him that sent me.

Joh 20:21 Then said Jesus to them again, Peace be unto you: as my Father hath sent me, even so send I you.

1Co 12:28 And God hath set some in the church, first apostles, secondarily prophets, thirdly teachers, after that miracles, then gifts of healings, helps, governments, diversities of tongues.

In other words Christ uses His own body to teach His own body of called-out ones.

Eph 3:10 To the intent that now unto the principalities and powers in heavenly places might be known by the church the manifold wisdom of God, [Including the manifold wisdom of God as it concerns our marriages]

Eph 4:15 But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things [This would certainly include our marriages], which is the head, even Christ:
Eph 4:16 From whom the whole body fitly joined together and compacted by that which every joint supplieth, according to the effectual working in the measure of every part, maketh increase of the body unto the edifying of itself in love.

Under the guise of the separation of church and state, the Creator of the institution of marriage is barred from being a voice in the academic institutions of this world. The churches of Babylon, who purport to fill this desperate need and to be the spokesperson of our Creator, have failed so miserably at teaching the doctrines of God concerning how to have a happy and fruitful marriage that the divorce rate among church goers is the same as it is among non church goers.

Something is terribly wrong in the churches of Babylon, and what is wrong is that those who claim the name of Christ pay no attention to “the things [He] says concerning how to preserve and strengthen the institution of marriage.

In this series of studies we will be discussing seven of the major sources of stress that will afflict every marriage, if we do not seek the counsel of the Word of God concerning how we are to keep our marriages healthy and vibrant. The first in our list will be the subject of our study today.

Here are seven of the most common sources of stress in a marriage:

1) Not being equally yoked with a fellow believer in the true mind of Christ.
2) A jealous spirit.
3) Not being financially stable, or being financially undisciplined and being unable to provide for the needs of a wife and children.
4) Undisciplined children, and not being of one mind concerning how children are to be both disciplined and encouraged.
5) An uncontrolled temper, and blaming your mate for what God is attempting to teach you.
6) In-law and friend interferences in a marriage, which are allowed to come before your spouse.
7) Pure and unadulterated selfishness, that places one’s own desires and wishes above the good and the needs of your marriage.

There is a lot of overlapping in these seven categories, but these seven sources of stresses upon a marriage will serve to give us the opportunity to share with you much of what the scriptures teach us will make for a united, happy, and spiritually healthy and fruitful married life.

Here is what we are told is the single most important element which will keep us all spiritually healthy in every circumstance.

Exo 15:26 And said, If thou wilt diligently hearken to the voice of the LORD thy God, and wilt do that which is right in his sight, and wilt give ear to his commandments, and keep all his statutes, I will put none of these diseases upon thee, which I have brought upon the Egyptians: for I am the LORD that healeth thee.

Those words certainly apply to these seven stresses which God has sent upon so many marriages. So let’s diligently listen to the voice of the Lord, give ear to his commandment and keep his statutes and heal our marriages. Do not name the name of the Lord while ignoring His voice and stubbornly refusing to keep His statutes as they relate to His institution of marriage.

Isa 52:5 Now therefore, what have I here, saith the LORD, that my people is taken away for nought? they that rule over them make them to howl, saith the LORD; and my name continually every day is blasphemed.

Rom 2:23 Thou that makest thy boast of the law, through breaking the law dishonourest thou God?

Rom 2:24 For the name of God is blasphemed among the Gentiles through you, as it is written.

These words are written about and to you and me. This is each of us. We have all been self-righteous harlots and whore mongers who have blasphemed the name of God while teaching lies and living the lies of the harlot, Babylonian system.

There is not such thing as “falling in love”

There is one such huge lie perpetrated upon us which most of us have believed at some time in our lives. It is the lie that you can, and should, “fall in love” with another person before you get married. According to this lie, this event is supposed to be completely out of your control, and it is considered to be the most important sign that you are marrying the right person. “Falling in love” is really nothing more than falling in lust, and many times we don’t even realize it while it is happening. We actually believe the lie that love is uncontrollable and this is what is supposed to happen.

We certainly need to be in love with our spouse, but it is never to be out of our control:

1Co 14:32 And the spirits of the prophets are subject to the prophets.
1Co 14:33 For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints.

The Bible teaches us that godly love is something we are dragged to, through fiery trials, and that we certainly do not just naturally fall into loving our spiritual husband Christ.

1Co 2:14 But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned.

Anything that is contrary to these words is not the true “love of God”:

1Jn 5:2 By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God, and keep his commandments.
1Jn 5:3 For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous.

As we saw last week, no relationship on earth teaches us as much about the realm of the spirit, “even His eternal power and Godhead”, as does the marriage relationship. The institution of marriage teaches us what is the true “love of God”, and it certainly is not something we just naturally ‘fall’ into.

The story of Samson

Likewise nothing causes more confusion and spiritual destruction within us than our out-of-control emotions. We have just such an example of this truth in the story of Samson. Twice in the life of Samson we are shown what our uncontrolled emotions will produce within our lives and in our marriages. The first was his Philistine wife from Timnath, and the second was his experience with the harlot Delilah.

Just look at Samson’s out-of-control, impatient, rebellious words to his own parents, after “falling in love” with a Philistine woman:

Jdg 14:1 And Samson went down to Timnath, and saw a woman in Timnath of the daughters of the Philistines.
Jdg 14:2 And he came up, and told his father and his mother, and said, I have seen a woman in Timnath of the daughters of the Philistines: now therefore get her for me to wife.

Jdg 14:3 Then his father and his mother said unto him, Is there never a woman among the daughters of thy brethren, or among all my people, that thou goest to take a wife of the uncircumcised Philistines? And Samson said unto his father, Get her for me; for she pleaseth me well.

This story demonstrates, through Samson, that we are as blind as a bat when our emotions control us and when we look on outward appearances to the exclusion of the inward spiritual heart of our potential spouse. Samson’s words show no knowledge or care for what is the true “love of God”. Samson in both cases “fell in lust”, and like all of us at our own time, we think we can ‘fall in love’.

Here is the Lord Himself making this very point:

Joh 9:39 And Jesus said, For judgment I am come into this world, that they which see not might see; and that they which see might be made blind.
Joh 9:40 And some of the Pharisees which were with him heard these words, and said unto him, Are we blind also?
Joh 9:41 Jesus said unto them, If ye were blind, ye should have no sin: but now ye say, We see; therefore your sin remaineth.

Samson thought his physical eyes were quite reliable, and he demonstrated his disdain for obeying the commandments of God when, after his parent’s admonition, he still told his father, “Get her for me; for she pleaseth me well”. Samson and these Pharisees are types of who we are when we place our trust in our physical vision, to the exclusion of our Lord’s very clear admonitions concerning who we are to marry. Israel, a spiritual type of God’s called-out people, was commanded to marry only another Israelite, and they were specifically prohibited from marrying anyone who was of another way of thinking.

Lev 20:23 And ye shall not walk in the manners of the nation, which I cast out before you: for they committed all these things, and therefore I abhorred them.

Deu 6:14 Ye shall not go after other gods, of the gods of the people which are round about you;

Deu 7:1 When the LORD thy God shall bring thee into the land whither thou goest to possess it, and hath cast out many nations before thee, the Hittites, and the Girgashites, and the Amorites, and the Canaanites, and the Perizzites, and the Hivites, and the Jebusites, seven nations greater and mightier than thou;
Deu 7:2 And when the LORD thy God shall deliver them before thee; thou shalt smite them, and utterly destroy them; thou shalt make no covenant with them, nor shew mercy unto them:
Deu 7:3 Neither shalt thou make marriages with them; thy daughter thou shalt not give unto his son, nor his daughter shalt thou take unto thy son.

Deu 7:4 For they will turn away thy son from following me, that they may serve other gods: so will the anger of the LORD be kindled against you, and destroy thee suddenly.
Deu 7:5 But thus shall ye deal with them; ye shall destroy their altars, and break down their images, and cut down their groves, and burn their graven images with fire.

“Seven nations greater and mightier than you”, is telling us that we, by our own eye sight and our own strength, cannot make right and godly decisions. What that means is that if we do wait for a godly wife or a godly husband it will be a miraculous work of God within us, destroying our faith in our own eyes and ears, which just naturally submit to the “seven nations greater and mightier than [we are]”. Those seven nations are all the things of this world, including unconverted wives, which please our physical eyes, and whose words please our carnal ears, and who appeal to our beastly desires to fit into this world.

We cannot marry the daughter of Pharaoh and 999 other pagan wives, “for they will turn [us] away from following [our proper spouse, Christ]”

2Co 11:2 For I am jealous over you with godly jealousy: for I have espoused you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ.

Samson got his Philistine wife, and just as the Lord promised, she was indeed nothing more than a snare to Samson. In the end she died with her family at the hands of her own people, in revenge for what Samson had done to those Philistines who forced his wife to give them the answer to his riddle. God was working it all, but He did so through Samson’s double-minded heart, which had him attempting to maintain his integrity when he had no integrity to maintain because he had turned his back on his God and the commandments of his own God. Just like King Solomon many years later, the women in Samson’s life and the 1,000 pagan wives in the life of King Solomon, were a snare to them both. Physical women then and today typify the false doctrines of Babylon which will tell us that we need not “diligently listen to the voice of the Lord [our] God”.

Exo 15:26 And said, If thou wilt diligently hearken to the voice of the LORD thy God, and wilt do that which is right in his sight, and wilt give ear to his commandments, and keep all his statutes, I will put none of these diseases upon thee, which I have brought upon the Egyptians: for I am the LORD that healeth thee.

But typifying our natural old man, Samson had no interest in “listening diligently to the voice of the Lord”. The next time Samson “fell in love” it was with a Philistine harlot, named Delilah, and we all know how this story ended. It led to Samson’s death, as the symbolic death of our rebellious old man. It was only when he was forced to acknowledge his blindness and to die to his old man that he was finally given to deliver his people from the people who were in the land of God’s people without the benefit of true circumcision.

Jdg 16:30 And Samson said, Let me die with the Philistines. And he bowed himself with all his might; and the house fell upon the lords, and upon all the people that were therein. So the dead which he slew at his death were more than they which he slew in his life.

King David and Bathsheba

The story of Samson gives us two examples of what happens to us when we believe the lie that the only way to know we have the right mate is to “fall in love” with that person. We also have another example of what happens when we “fall in love”, and that is the story of King David and Bathsheba, the wife of Uriah, one of the captains in King David’s army. In every Biblical story, ‘falling in love’ produced nothing but the works of the flesh, and was, in every case, the exact opposite of “listen[ing] diligently to the voice of the Lord”. In every case “the voice of the Lord” was completely ignored by those who “fell in love”, and the voice of the spiritual father of the beast, the voice of “the tempter… that old serpent the devil and Satan” (Rev 12:9), was the only one whose voice was heard and obeyed.

2Sa 11:1 And it came to pass, after the year was expired, at the time when kings go forth to battle, that David sent Joab, and his servants with him, and all Israel; and they destroyed the children of Ammon, and besieged Rabbah. But David tarried still at Jerusalem.
2Sa 11:2 And it came to pass in an eveningtide, that David arose from off his bed, and walked upon the roof of the king’s house: and from the roof he saw a woman washing herself; and the woman was very beautiful to look upon.
2Sa 11:3 And David sent and enquired after the woman. And one said, Is not this Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam, the wife of Uriah the Hittite?
2Sa 11:4 And David sent messengers, and took her; and she came in unto him, and he lay with her; for she was purified from her uncleanness: and she returned unto her house.
2Sa 11:5 And the woman conceived, and sent and told David, and said, I am with child.

King David “lay with [another man’s wife]” simply because he “fell in love with her”. He was supposed to “go forth to battle”, but he sent others to do that for him, and in type he took a break from “diligently listening to the voice of the Lord”. When we “diligently listen to the voice of the Lord, and keep his commandments” we are doing spiritual battle. King David let down his guard, and took a break from doing spiritual battle and returned to trusting in his own physical vision, and paid a terrible and humiliating price for doing so, all for us and for our admonition:

1Co 10:11 Now all these things happened unto them for ensamples: and they are written for our admonition, upon whom the ends of the world are come.

2Co 4:15 For all things are for your sakes, that the abundant grace might through the thanksgiving of many redound to the glory of God.

The function of patience in seeking a godly wife

If we are to guard against allowing the physical vision of our flesh to lead us, and we are to avoid the widely accepted lie of “falling in love”, how then are we to go about “finding a wife”?

The answer to that question is demonstrated for us in the stories of how, Adam, Isaac and Boaz found their wives. These men are types of us after we have “fallen seven times” and are finally given godly fear, the strength of Christ and godly patience.

When it comes to getting married, these verses cannot be overemphasized:

Luk 21:19 In your patience possess ye your souls.

Psa 27:14 Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.

So let’s look at what is revealed in the stories about how these men were given their wives. As we do let us take note of how the godly fear, the spiritual strength, and the godly patience of these men contrast with the stories of Samson twice “falling in love”, and the story of King David “falling in love” with Bathsheba, the wife of another man.

Adam

We will begin at the beginning with Adam, and let’s “diligently listen” to how Adam found his wife:

Gen 2:20 And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.
Gen 2:21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;
Gen 2:22 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.
Gen 2:23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
Gen 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

I can already hear the argument “Well, of course Adam waited. He had to wait. After all there wasn’t a woman on earth until the Lord put Adam to sleep, took out of him a rib, made a woman of that rib, and brought her to Adam.” When we think like that, we are missing every spiritual lesson to be learned in the story of how God gave to us the institution of marriage. The lesson in this story is that we are to wait until the Lord brings to us the wife He has made for us.

Psa 25:3 Yea, let none that wait on thee be ashamed: let them be ashamed which transgress without cause.

Psa 27:14 Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.

“Wait, I say, on the Lord” and He will bring to you the wife He has for you. Get impatient and “fall in love”, which is generally nothing more than falling in lust with the person that “pleases [you]”, and “let them be ashamed which transgress…”

Isaac

Gen 24:2 And Abraham said unto his eldest servant of his house, that ruled over all that he had, Put, I pray thee, thy hand under my thigh:
Gen 24:3 And I will make thee swear by the LORD, the God of heaven, and the God of the earth, that thou shalt not take a wife unto my son of the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I dwell:
Gen 24:4 But thou shalt go unto my country, and to my kindred, and take a wife unto my son Isaac.

Gen 25:20 And Isaac was forty years old when he took Rebekah to wife, the daughter of Bethuel the Syrian of Padanaram, the sister to Laban the Syrian.

Isaac waited until he was forty years old, and then his father sent to the house of what he referred to as “my country, and to my kindred”, and Isaac’s father, Abraham secured a wife for his son from there. While Abraham’s kindred certainly were just as idolatrous as the Canaanites among whom Abraham dwelt, “my country, and… my kindred” in this story symbolizes the unity of a true believer to another true believer, as these verses make clear.

Amo 3:3 Can two walk together, except they be agreed?

1Co 6:15 Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid.
1Co 6:16 What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh.
1Co 6:17 But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit.

2Co 6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

These words simply cannot be received by our rebellious, lust-filled, impatient and carnal old man, because the Biblical answer is that like Adam, Isaac and Boaz, and like Christ Himself, these men all waited for the Lord to bring to them a wife.

There is no doubt there were many idol worshiping pagans in Paul’s day, but the word for an idolater is ‘eidololatres’ as in this verse:

1Co 6:9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters [Greek – eidololatres], nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,

The Greek word translated as “unbelievers” here in 2Co 6:14 is ‘apistos’, and it means ‘without faith’, meaning without faith in the same Christ that Paul believed in, as opposed to faith in “another Jesus”.

2Co 11:3 But I fear, lest by any means, as the serpent beguiled Eve through his subtilty, so your minds should be corrupted from the simplicity [Greek, singleness] that is in Christ.
2Co 11:4 For if he that cometh preacheth another Jesus, whom we have not preached, or if ye receive another spirit, which ye have not received, or another gospel, which ye have not accepted, ye might well bear with him.

2Co 11:13 For such are false apostles, deceitful workers, transforming themselves into the apostles of Christ.
2Co 11:14 And no marvel; for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light.
2Co 11:15 Therefore it is no great thing if his ministers also be transformed as the ministers of righteousness; whose end shall be according to their works.

These are the “unbelievers” Paul refers to in:

2Co 6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

“Their works” are works of darkness, even though they “be transformed as the ministers of righteousness”.

“Be not unequally yoked with unbelievers” is very clear language when we are able to put that verse in 2nd Corinthians 6 together with what we are admonished in 1Co 6:15: “shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid.” The “harlot” to whom Paul is referring is the backslid wife of Christ:

Isa 1:21 How is the faithful city [Jerusalem, those who claim to be God’s people] become an harlot! it was full of judgment; righteousness lodged in it; but now murderers.

Paul continues to explain why Christ’s true followers who are not yet married need to take heed to this admonition: “What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh. But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit.”

Many think that the word “unbelievers” in “be not unequally yoked together with unbelievers”, refers to non-Christians, and does not include Christians who are still living in the lies of the daughters of Babylon. Babylon is the mother of harlots, and while Babylon certainly includes non-Christians, that harlot system does not exclude the apostatized Christian churches. We are commanded to “come out of her” (Rev 18:4). We are not to marry into her as King Solomon did in type.

2Co 6:17 Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you,
2Co 6:18 And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.

Rev 18:4 And I heard another voice from heaven, saying, Come out of her, my people, that ye be not partakers of her sins, and that ye receive not of her plagues.

Here is this all-important admonition again:

1Co 7:39 The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.

The very definition of being “in the Lord” is to seek only the Lord’s will in all we do:

Mat 6:10 Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.

Mat 26:42 He went away again the second time, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if this cup may not pass away from me, except I drink it, thy will be done.

1Jn 5:14 And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us:

It may outwardly appear that there is no one in sight for a young called-out one to marry, but to allow that belief to lead you to think that God is incapable of bringing you a spouse, and that He needs you to help Him find you a mate, is a mistake that will bring shame on all who are not given to “wait upon the Lord”. When we try to take matters into our own hands, we are acting just like Samson and King David and we will bring shame upon ourselves, and we will blaspheme the name of our God when we ignore His commandments.

Again, these words also apply to all who are seeking a godly spouse:

Psa 25:3 Yea, let none that wait on thee be ashamed: let them be ashamed which transgress without cause.

Psa 27:14 Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.

The scriptures very clearly prohibit believers from marrying unbelievers, and it is only in our patience that we will possess our souls when we are seeking a godly spouse. Patience works through faith, and faith is a gift which we are either given or we are not given. Our flesh brings absolutely nothing to Christ’s table. But through the faith of Christ we “can do all things” and conquer every enemy, within and without. We are all “His workmanship [and] we are “created unto good works, which God has before ordained that we should walk in [those good works]”:

Eph 2:8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:
Eph 2:9 Not of works, lest any man should boast.
Eph 2:10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.

Boaz

Here is the introduction to the story of Ruth and Boaz:

Rth 1:1 Now it came to pass in the days when the judges ruled, that there was a famine in the land. And a certain man of Bethlehemjudah went to sojourn in the country of Moab, he, and his wife, and his two sons.
Rth 1:2 And the name of the man was Elimelech, and the name of his wife Naomi, and the name of his two sons Mahlon and Chilion, Ephrathites of Bethlehemjudah. And they came into the country of Moab, and continued there.
Rth 1:3 And Elimelech Naomi’s husband died; and she was left, and her two sons.
Rth 1:4 And they took them wives of the women of Moab; the name of the one was Orpah, and the name of the other Ruth: and they dwelled there about ten years.
Rth 1:5 And Mahlon and Chilion died also both of them; and the woman was left of her two sons and her husband.

The story of Ruth and Boaz is very instructive for us. We do not have the time to go into this story in detail, but what we see is that God had this marriage written in His book before either Ruth or Boaz were born. It was God who made Naomi and her husband go into Moab. It was God who caused Naomi’s two sons to marry two Moabite women. It was God who took the lives of Naomi’s husband and her two sons, leaving her with no one in Moab but her two daughters-in-law, and it was God who caused Ruth to cleave to her mother-in-law and refuse to stay in the land of Moab. It was God who brought them back to Bethlehem, and who gave Ruth favor in the the eyes of Boaz, and it was God who gave Ruth to Boaz for his wife. This was all written in God’s book before any of these people involved were ever born, and it was all done so Boaz and Ruth could conceive a son who they named Obed, who was the Father of Jesse, who was the father of King David.

Ruth was a Moabite woman of whom Israel was told not to take their daughters for their sons, yet it was God who placed Ruth in the genealogy of Christ “after the flesh”. What we can learn from this story and from the story of Samson is that God is working all things after the counsel of His own will, and if a brother or a sister is already married to an unbeliever, then that too, is of God. God prohibits us from doing so when we are given to know in advance and accept His word which makes this prohibition so clear.

Jas 4:17 Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin.

This is what we are to know when praying for God’s will to be done if we are seeking to find a wife and to find favor of God:

1Co 7:39 The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.

There are billions of people who think they are “in the Lord”, but the fact is that there are very few who have been chosen to truly give up all this world to be “only in the Lord”.

Mat 24:4 And Jesus answered and said unto them, Take heed that no man deceive you.
Mat 24:5 For many shall come in my name, saying, I am Christ; and shall deceive many.

Conclusion

So what have we been instructed about how to find a wife?

1) The first thing we learned is that God teaches us “the manifold wisdom of God”, and how to strengthen our marriages and how to grown in the spirit “by the church”, and that His body of called-out believers speak in His behalf:

Luk 10:16 He that heareth you heareth me; and he that despiseth you despiseth me; and he that despiseth me despiseth him that sent me.

Eph 3:10 To the intent that now unto the principalities and powers in heavenly places might be known by the church the manifold wisdom of God,

2) We have learned that there is no such thing as “falling in love”, and that the truth is that we are dragged to love our mate through the trials of marriage, which teach us that we do not live to ourselves, nor do we die to ourselves.

Joh 6:44 No man can come to me [Love our husband, Christ], except the Father which hath sent me draw [Greek – helko, meaning ‘drag’] him: and I will raise him up at the last day.

3) We have learned that not everyone who says they are “in the Lord” is really in the Lord.

Mat 22:11 And when the king came in to see the guests, he saw there a man which had not on a wedding garment:
Mat 22:12 And he saith unto him, Friend, how camest thou in hither not having a wedding garment? And he was speechless.
Mat 22:13 Then said the king to the servants, Bind him hand and foot, and take him away, and cast him into outer darkness; there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.
Mat 22:14 For many are called, but few are chosen.

4) We saw through the examples of Adam, Issac, and Boaz, that God has all of our wives “written in his book” before they or we are ever born into this world, and in His time He brings our wives to us.

Gen 2:22 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.

Psa 139:16 Thine eyes did see mine unformed substance; And in thy book they were all written, Even the days that were ordained for me, When as yet there was none of them.

We saw through the examples of these three men that it is in our patience that we possess both our souls and our marriages:

Psa 27:14 Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.

Luk 21:19 In your patience possess ye your souls.

5) For that very reason we have seen the verses of scripture which forbid believers from marrying unbelievers who are not of the same mind:

Amo 3:3 Can two walk together, except they be agreed?

1Co 6:15 Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid.
1Co 6:16 What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh.
1Co 6:17 But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit.

2Co 6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers [Christians of the harlot church system]: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

6) We have learned that an “unbeliever” includes a professing Christian who is still in this world and is not of the same “one mind” in Christ.

2Co 11:4 For if someone comes and proclaims another Jesus than the one we proclaimed, or if you receive a different spirit from the one you received, or if you accept a different gospel from the one you accepted, you put up with it readily enough.

2Co 13:11 Finally, brethren, farewell. Be perfect, be of good comfort, be of one mind, live in peace; and the God of love and peace shall be with you.

Php 1:27 Only let your conversation be as it becometh the gospel of Christ: that whether I come and see you, or else be absent, I may hear of your affairs, that ye stand fast in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of the gospel;

Php 2:2 Fulfil ye my joy, that ye be likeminded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind.

1Pe 3:8 Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous:

7) We have seen in the examples of Samson and King David, that outward beauty alone provokes nothing more than the lust of our flesh, leading us to disobedience and causing us to turn our knowledge of His sovereignty and His grace into a self-righteous, lascivious and permissive spirit, which will be burned out of us all either in this age or in the age to come.

Jud 1:4 For there are certain men crept in unawares, who were before of old ordained to this condemnation, ungodly men, turning the grace of our God into lasciviousness, and denying the only Lord God, and our Lord Jesus Christ.

We saw through the examples of Samson and King David, that when we “turn the grace of God into a self-righteous and lascivious, and permissive spirit, we are “denying the only Lord Jesus Christ, and we are blaspheming the name of God:

Rom 2:24 For the name of God is blasphemed among the Gentiles through you, as it is written.

8) Finally we also learned that those who marry an unbeliever before they come to know that marriage is “only in the Lord” are never to put away their spouse because that union is also a work of the same God who is working all things after the counsel of His own will for our good.

1Co 7:12 But to the rest [couples where one spouse is not a believer] speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.
1Co 7:13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
1Co 7:14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
1Co 7:15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.

Next week, if the Lord wills, we will see the devastation that a spirit of jealousy can needlessly wreak upon a marriage which could and would otherwise be a very happy union.


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