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How Do I Repent From an Adulterous Marriage?

Posted July 23, 2009
Hi A____,

I am grateful that you have taken the time to seek to know what is the mind of God at this point in your life. Of course you know that I do not know you or your situation from Adam. But I do know about Adam, and I know what Adam was, was not of his own making. Adam was "made subject to vanity, not willingly, but by reason of Him who subjected [Adam to vanity] in hope."

Rom 8:20 For the creature was made subject to vanity, not willingly, but by reason of him who hath subjected the same in hope,

Jer 18:4 And the vessel that he made of clay was marred in the hand of the potter: so he made it again another vessel, as seemed good to the potter to make it. [of purified spirit]

The very fact that you are feeling so guilty and are not yet aware that even your sins are God working with you and in you, demonstrates that you are indeed a "yet carnal...babe in Christ."

1Co 3:1  And I, brethren, could not speak unto you as unto spiritual, but as unto carnal, even as unto babes in Christ.
1Co 3:3  For ye are yet carnal: for whereas [there is] among you envying, and strife, and divisions, are ye not carnal, and walk as men?

We will all have to give an account of our sins. That's what guilt is all about. We must confess we have sinned and that we could not avoid having done so. That is what is meant by "give an accounting of your stewardship." Simply admit what you have done wrong, and "go and sin no more." But until you confess that you can't even sin unless God causes you to do so, then you have not yet given an accounting of why you did what you did. "It was not you that did it but God."

Gen 45:4  And Joseph said unto his brethren, Come near to me, I pray you. And they came near. And he said, I [am] Joseph your brother, whom ye sold into Egypt.
Gen 45:5  Now therefore be not grieved, nor angry with yourselves, that ye sold me hither: for God did send me before you to preserve life.
Gen 45:6  For these two years [hath] the famine [been] in the land: and yet [there are] five years, in the which [there shall] neither [be] earing nor harvest.
Gen 45:7  And God sent me before you to preserve you a posterity in the earth, and to save your lives by a great deliverance.
Gen 45:8  So now it was not you that sent me hither, but God: and he hath made me a father to Pharaoh, and lord of all his house, and a ruler throughout all the land of Egypt.

"You sold [me] into Egypt," and again, "You sold me hither." That is "giving an accounting." But that is not claiming responsibility for your sins. You nor I nor anyone else is responsible for our sins. The Truth which we must confess is "It was not you" or me, that caused either of us to sin, but God.

Joh 15:1  I am the true vine, and my Father is the husbandman.
Joh 15:2  Every branch in me that beareth not fruit he taketh away: and every [branch] that beareth fruit, he purgeth it, that it may bring forth more fruit.
Joh 15:3  Now ye are clean through the word which I have spoken unto you.
Joh 15:4  Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me.
Joh 15:5  I am the vine, ye [are] the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.

The "husbandman" owns the whole field, and every branch on every tree in that field. The whole field is the whole world.

Mat 13:38  The field is the world; the good seed are the children of the kingdom; but the tares are the children of the wicked one;

Even the branches which "beareth not fruit" are "in Me [Christ]. Some few are given to know that they are God's elect, even as they struggle against sin in their lives, and even as they come to see themselves as being in Babylon. That is where God has you at this time. The torment you are enduring is the fire of God's Word which will burn up all wood, hay and stubble in your life as you continue to "die daily." This world is not being judged at this time and so they feel no guilt for their sins.

Apologize to anyone you have wronged, and ask for their forgiveness, if they are receptive. But do not divorce again just to make yourself feel better. Here is the New Testament version of what Joseph told his brothers about their sins:

Rom 7:17  Now then it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.
Rom 7:18  For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but [how] to perform that which is good I find not.
Rom 7:19  For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do.
Rom 7:20  Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.

I hope this helps you to see that "it is not you that do it." Who then does it? It is "sin that dwells in [us all]. Who put it there?

Rom 7:21  I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me.

Rom 8:20  For the creature was made subject to vanity, not willingly, but by reason of him who hath subjected the same in hope,

Jer 18:4  And the vessel that he made of clay was marred in the hand of the potter: so he made it again another vessel, as seemed good to the potter to make it.

Until you and I and the whole world, admit that God is working all things, we will suffer as did Joseph's brothers under the torment of thinking that our sins are our own. They are God's work in our lives. Every day of our lives were "written in His book, before there were any of them." How then can we change a second of what is already "written in thy book?"

Psa 139:16  Thine eyes did see mine unformed substance; And in thy book they were all written, Even the days that were ordained for me, When as yet there was none of them.

To fail to acknowledge this truth limits God's sovereignty to very few days of our wicked lives, when the truth for each of us is these words:

Pro 16:4  The LORD hath made all things for himself: yea, even the wicked [Mike Vinson and you] for the day of evil [in the lives of us both, and us all].

What you are experiencing is what we all experience in our own appointed time. I know as I have 'been there and done that', and I thank God that He has seen fit to give me eyes to see what a sinning machine He "made me for Himself, and for the day of evil in my life." It was all "written in His book, every day of my [sin-filled] life before there were any of them." This is common to all men, "each in his own order." You and I are not unique. We are typical. All men, "each in his own order" will be burdened with guilt and tormented mercilessly, until they are granted repentance, and accept the fact that "it is not I that do it...it was not you, but God." It is the same process for all whether they are aware of that fact or not:

Ecc 9:2  All things come alike to all: there is one event to the righteous, and to the wicked; to the good and to the clean, and to the unclean; to him that sacrificeth, and to him that sacrificeth not: as is the good, so is the sinner; and he that sweareth, as he that feareth an oath.

Paul experienced this "one event" and came to see this fact:

Rom 7:22  For I delight in the law of God after the inward man:
Rom 7:23  But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members.

It has the same effect upon us all. It brings us "to our wits end," and with Paul we cry out:

Rom 7:24  O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?

But the few who are granted repentance are judged now through this time of torment, and come to see that it is all nothing less than the revelation of Jesus Christ. Then all the guilt is removed because we are not responsible for what God wrote in His book "before the world began." Then we can say with Paul:

Rom 7:25  I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin.

But "through Christ Jesus our Lord, we no longer serve the flesh but the spirit which is "the law of God." It is in the very next verse:

Rom 8:1  There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.
Rom 8:2  For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death.

Accept the truth of this verse, and relieve yourself of your guilt. "Your sins are forgiven you". Love your wife and children and all men, and "go and sin no more lest a worse thing come upon you." God has forgiven you and He wants you to know that He is working all things, including your adultery, "after the counsel of His own will...for good."

Eph 1:11  In whom also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestinated according to the purpose of him who worketh all things after the counsel of his own will:

Rom 8:28  And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to [his] purpose.
Your brother in Christ,

Mike Vinson