Helping Others Make Good Decisions

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Hi S____,
Thank you for sharing your friend’s dilemma with me.

Your friend struggles to believe that God has everything he will do in every day of his life written in a book before he was ever even born, and yet he takes comfort in knowing that if he marries a woman who is ensconced in Babylonian doctrines then God meant for it to be that way.
Well, at least he has that much right. It is God who is working in your friend both to will and to do whatever he does.

Php 2:13  For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of [ his] good pleasure.
Psa 139:16  Thine eyes did see mine unformed substance; And in thy book they were all written, Even the days that were ordained for me, When as yet there was none of them.

Either God is working all things after the counsel of His own will, or we have free will. It cannot be both, and the scriptures are super clear in emphasizing the fact that man is not capable of directing his own steps either for good or for evil. It is God who does all of this:

Pro 20:24  Man’s goings [ good or evil] are of the LORD; how can a man then understand his own way?
Jer 10:23  O LORD, I know that the way of man is not in himself: it is not in man that walketh to direct his steps. [ For good or evil]

Here is the director of every action that ever takes place:

Isa 45:5  I am the LORD, and there is none else, there is no God beside me: I girded thee, though thou hast not known me:
Isa 45:6  That they may know from the rising of the sun, and from the west, that [ there is] none beside me. I am the LORD, and there is none else.
Isa 45:7  I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.

So when it appears that we are about to make a big mistake, and when we go ahead and make a big mistake, it really is not a mistake at all, it is simply “our goings being of the Lord,” “the Lord directing our steps” and the Lord creating evil and doing all of these things.”
I have said many times that I cannot give you or your friend faith in God’s Word. Neither can I drag anyone to Christ. When I try to do so I find that I am actually fighting against Christ Himself. Faith in God’s Word is a gift from God which cannot be taken away by men, and until that faith is given to each of us, there is nothing any of us can do to cause the words of scripture to sink in. This is not a guessing game. God is very straight forward about this process. These are spiritual inward words which will be lived in me and in you and in your friend:

Pro 16:4  The LORD hath made all things for himself: yea, even the wicked for the day of evil.
Joh 8:31  Then said Jesus to those Jews which believed on him, If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed;
Joh 8:32  And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.

There is a world of difference between being a disciple of Christ, such as your friend and his fiancee, and “continuing in my word.” Contrary to the false doctrine of the 10 second sinner’s prayer, it is only those who “endure to the end who are saved.” Talking to these “Jews who believed in Him,” Christ continues to show you and me what will happen in our lives:

Joh 8:43  Why do ye not understand my speech? even because ye cannot hear my word.

What your friend does with the Words you have given him is up to God. These Jews, like all of us, were predestined to deny their own Savior, and “could not hear Christ’s words.” The same thing is true for us all. We are all predestined first to crucify Christ and then to repent and be crucified with Him. We must first come to see ourselves as “chief of sinners” before we will ever be capable of “Godly repentance.”

1Ti 1:15  This [ is] a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners; of whom I am chief.
Gal 2:20  I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.

From what you are telling me, Christ is secondary to this fiancee in the life of your friend. None of us should ever be marrying someone who does not agree with us doctrinally. That is what the scriptures refer to as “being unequally yoked,” and it simply does not work.

2Co 6:14  Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
Amo 3:3  Can two walk together, except they be agreed?

The natural man answers, ‘sure they can. All they need to do is to agree on the essentials and tolerate each other on the nonessentials.’ But God is a jealous God and demands our total dedication to obeying Him and being of one mind and one spirit. He will have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness which fill the church of His bondwoman wife.

Rev 2:19  I know thy works, and charity, and service, and faith, and thy patience, and thy works; and the last [ to be] more than the first.
Rev 2:20  Notwithstanding I have a few things against thee, because thou sufferest that woman Jezebel, which calleth herself a prophetess, to teach and to seduce my servants to commit fornication, and to eat things sacrificed unto idols.
Rev 2:21  And I gave her space to repent of her fornication; and she repented not.
Rev 2:22  Behold, I will cast her into a bed, and them that commit adultery with her into great tribulation, except they repent of their deeds.
Rev 2:23  And I will kill her children with death; and all the churches shall know that I am he which searcheth the reins and hearts: and I will give unto every one of you according to your works.

We have all been in bed with Jezebel and have all lived these words. If you or your friend have not done so, then you will. But in the end we all do repent and weep bitterly, realizing that in spite of all of our efforts to do otherwise we end up “living by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God.”

Mar 14:27  And Jesus saith unto them, All ye shall be offended because of me this night: for it is written, I will smite the shepherd, and the sheep shall be scattered.
Mar 14:28  But after that I am risen, I will go before you into Galilee.
Mar 14:29  But Peter said unto him, Although all shall be offended, yet will not I.
Mar 14:30  And Jesus saith unto him, Verily I say unto thee, That this day, even in this night, before the cock crow twice, thou shalt deny me thrice.
Mar 14:31  But he spake the more vehemently, If I should die with thee, I will not deny thee in any wise. Likewise also said they all.

Peter is you and me and your friend. When he marries his fiancee with her eternal hell doctrine, he will be denying Christ who will save all in Adam. Am I encouraging anyone to sin? No, like Christ, I am simply pointing out “It is written,” and “man… will live by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God,” good and evil. Peter in us all thinks otherwise. But what always happens under such circumstances?

Mat 26:74  Then began he to curse and to swear, saying, I know not the man. And immediately the cock crew.
Mat 26:75  And Peter remembered the word of Jesus, which said unto him, Before the cock crow, thou shalt deny me thrice. And he went out, and wept bitterly.
Luk 22:61  And the Lord turned, and looked upon Peter. And Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how he had said unto him, Before the cock crow, thou shalt deny me thrice.
Luk 22:62  And Peter went out, and wept bitterly.

The Lord is looking on us all as we deny Him every time we succumb to the pressures of this life. Your friend is no exception to this Truth. If he believes the scriptures, it will cost him his fiancee. That is a lot of pressure for a young man who is in love. Turn him over to the Lord, and He will give your friend all the trials of life that are needed to produce the “much tribulation” and the fiery trials we must all endure as we are being judged now in preparation for the exalted position we will be given if we are counted worthy to be in that blessed and holy first resurrection.

Act 14:22  Confirming the souls of the disciples, and exhorting them to continue in the faith, and that we must through much tribulation enter into the kingdom of God.
1Pe 4:12  Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you:
 
1Pe 4:17  For the time is come that judgment must begin at the house of God: and if it first begin at us, what shall the end be of them that obey not the gospel of God?
Rev 20:6  Blessed and holy is he that hath part in the first resurrection: on such the second death hath no power, but they shall be priests of God and of Christ, and shall reign with him a thousand years.

It is God’s call. Place it in His hands. After all, that is simply an acknowledgment of where it already is.

Eph 1:11  In whom also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestinated according to the purpose of him who worketh all things after the counsel of his own will:

Your friend’s decision has already been written in God’s book. You and I should always be ready to give good, Godly, Biblically based advice when asked, but you will soon learn that the most unwelcome thing in all of this world is unasked for advice.
You and I will just have to wait to see what God has already known from before the foundation of the world:

Psa 139:16  Thine eyes did see mine unformed substance; And in thy book they were all written, Even the days that were ordained for me, When as yet there was none of them.

I hope this all serves to give you the peace of mind that comes with knowing that all things are in the very capable hands of a loving Father who “will have all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the Truth” (1Ti 2:4).

Your brother in Christ,
Mike

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