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How Believing Spouses Are To Handle Unbelieving Spouses During The Holidays.

Hi J____,

Thank you for your questions.

You ask: 

"I read the article How Strong Brothers Bear the Infirmities of the Weaker Brothers.  In reading this I have a question or two. I am personally against pagan Holidays. My wife is not. She is a protestant Who goes to a "Four Square" church.  How am I supposed to handle Days, Months and so forth in this situation. Should I go into my bedroom and shut the door during meals and gift giving?  Should I be an overbearing, faith dominating husband and say, "NO CHRISTMAS/EASTER/WHATEVER for you in MY household!"  How should I go about dealing with a situation that I can't change?  My wife is her own person, and I'm not going to dominate her faith."

The first thing I want to do is to let you know that I commiserate with you in your situation.

While it is true that I have never had this particular struggle with my wife, She did at one time oppose my growing understanding of universal salvation, to the point that she was burning the literature I was ordering on that subject. So I am well aware that it is very hard to remain faithful to the Word of God even with the support of your family. It is even harder when your family is not on the same page with you.

What I did is what you need to do. I reminded Sandi that God had placed me at the head of our family. I reminded her that it was not her place to attempt to become my leader or to keep me from searching for the Truth of God's word. I told her that if she did not want to go along with me then that was between her and God. But I did not even flinch when I told her that she would not become the head of our household and that if she had any pretense of obeying God's Word then she would never again burn the literature which I had ordered.

Eph 5:22  Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
Eph 5:23  For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
Eph 5:24  Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so [let] the wives [be] to their own husbands in every thing.
Eph 5:25  Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Eph 5:26  That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
Christ "loved the church and gave Himself for it." Husbands must be willing to do the same for their unbelieving wives. But Christ never submitted Himself to the leadership of His wife. He will have no part of any such arrangement. Verse 21 is addressed to the church as a whole. I should submit myself to you and you should submit yourself to me so as to have an attitude of wanting to help each other. I will be of no help to you at all if I cannot even take the time to listen to what you have to say. You will be of no help to me if you cannot do the same. But let no one ever tell you that verse 21 nullifies or contradicts verse 22. It does nothing of the kind. Verse 22 actually clarifies verse 21. The way we demonstrate our obedience to verse 21 is by obeying verse 22. Men must never abdicate their position as the husband and spiritual leader of the home. Women must never allow themselves to attempt to lead their husbands. When women must lead as did Deborah, they must do as Deborah and encourage their 'Barak' husbands to take the lead in every possible way. If you have not yet done so, then be sure to take the time to read The Head of Christ Is God. You also need to read the section of the Law of Moses Versus The Law of The Spirit dealing with 1 Corinthians chapter 7.

We have not been called into an ideal life. We have rather been given an evil experience to show us where we are lacking and to humble us:
Ecc 1:13 I applied my heart to inquiring and exploring by wisdom concerning all that is done under the heavens: it is an experience of evil Elohim has given to the sons of humanity to humble them by it.
"All that is done under heaven," including your experience with your wife and my experience with Sandi, "is an experience of evil which God has given us to humble us." You don't know me and I do not know you, but then again we do know each other well enough to be able to agree that we both need much more understanding of where we are still lacking and much more humility. We are not being called to take Boy Scouts out camping. Our calling and election is to be the rulers of this entire earth and to bring all men to Christ. It will be the believing mate who will "sanctify the unbelieving mate." It was through Joseph that his unbelieving brothers were saved. That is a promise from God:
1 Cor 7:12  But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.
1 Cor 7:13  And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
1 Cor 7:14  For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
It may not take place in this age, but it will be done just as you have read. It will be the believers who will save the unbelievers:
Rev 3:9  Behold, I will make them of the synagogue of Satan, which say they are Jews, and are not, but do lie; behold, I will make them to come and worship before thy feet, and to know that I have loved thee.
To "worship at your feet" they must first be given a change of heart. This will take time and a lot of patience and mercy on the part of all the 'Josephs', known as God's elect. It will be through their unbelief that we will be given our faith and it will be through our mercy that they will be given mercy:
Rom 11:30  For as ye in times past have not believed God, yet have now obtained mercy through their unbelief:
Rom 11:31  Even so have these also now not believed, that through your mercy they also may obtain mercy.
The second thing you need to know is yes, you are right, you do not have dominion over your wife's faith. It is the strong who are to bear the infirmities of the weak. Look at all the years God tolerated and "bore" the infirmities of Israel. But God did not participate in Israel's abominable practices. He put up with Israel's rejections of Him and His ways for a long time. But there must always be boundaries which must not be passed. Even God eventually divorced Israel for all of her fornications and adulteries.

"I am set as a defense of the gospel" is true of all of God's elect. We are all intended to be "hated of all men for My name's sake."
Php 1:15  Some indeed preach Christ even of envy and strife; and some also of good will:
Php 1:16  The one preach Christ of contention, not sincerely, supposing to add affliction to my bonds:
Php 1:17  But the other of love, knowing that I am set for the defence of the gospel.

Matt 10:22  And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved.
"For my name's sake" means 'for obeying me in spite of all opposition from all men' including our own families.
Matt 10:34  Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matt 10:35  For I am come to set a man at variance against his father , and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matt 10:36  And a man's foes [shall be] they of his own household.
It is obvious from this e-mail that you are not being party to your wife's observance of pagan holidays. That is all that God expects of any of us. Your wife cannot act beyond the measure of faith she is given. But the same is true for you.

You cannot teach your children all the lies which make up the observance of pagan holidays. Christ was not born in December. There were no three wise men at the manger in Bethlehem. There is no such thing as a Santa Claus who comes down the chimney and leaves toys for good little boys and girls. Sunrise services are specifically condemned in scripture. Rabbits do not lay eggs. Children should never be allowed to threaten to trick a person who doesn't give them a treat. Witches and goblins are an abomination to God. etc. etc. I remember Halloween when I was a child. No, I didn't even know that "trick or treat" was a threat. Does that justify filling my little innocent mind with all the lies and witch craft associated with Halloween. No, it does not. What comes in as so innocent brings so many lies and deceptions with it that it must not be allowed into our spiritual houses. Now here is a verse of God's Word which is about as hated as any:
2 John 1:9  Whosoever transgresseth, and abideth not in the doctrine of Christ, hath not God. He that abideth in the doctrine of Christ, he hath both the Father and the Son.
2 John 1:10  If there come any unto you, and bring not this doctrine, receive him not into your [spiritual] house, neither bid him God speed:
2 John 1:11  For he that biddeth him God speed is partaker of his evil deeds.
The most upset I have ever seen Paul Crouch and Benny Hinn was when they we attacking "heresy hunters." God's elect are by their new nature heresy hunters. They are commanded to be so:
1 John 4:1  Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world.
If you fail to teach the Truth to your children then you have given up your position as the spiritual leader of your home. Your wife is ruling over you, and your children will oppress you. That is what you have sown, and that is what you will reap.
Isa 3:12  As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them. O my people, they which lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy the way of thy paths.
"As for my people Children are their oppressors and women rule over them."  At whose feet does God lay this sad state of affairs. He lays it all at the feet of those who are supposed to be Israel's leaders: "They which lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy the way of thy paths."

"The way of thy paths" is the Truth of God's Word. When God's own ministers follow the will of the people instead of the commandments of the Lord, the Lord holds the overseers of the flock accountable:
Deut 9:20  And the LORD was very angry with Aaron to have destroyed him [for helping the people to make a golden calf]: and I prayed for Aaron also the same time.

Psa 119:105  NUN. Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. 
Not keeping pagan holidays and rituals is not the only way God has of trying His elect. God's elect do not need to look for a way to be hated of all men; all they have to do is to obey Him. These verses of God's Word are not telling you to be a domineering husband. What they are telling you is to never be dominated by your wife. "Sin lies at the door, and its desire will be against you" Again, read The Head of Christ Is God.

I would hope you would never again "make fun of" your wife's pagan religion. That is all she has at this time. Do not ridicule her faith. Let every word you speak be spoken "with meekness and fear."
1 Pet 3:15  But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:
Nevertheless God's elect put obedience to Him over obedience to their mates, male or female. You cannot dominate your wife's faith but neither can she dominate your faith. You cannot help what she teaches your children, and she cannot stop you from teaching your children the Truth. Do not try to force your wife to obey God. Obedience must come from the heart. But women rule God's fallen people. That is the outward fruit of a society where the flesh is ruling the spirits in men. Women do not rule men who are filled with the spirit of Christ. The spirit rules the flesh, and husbands are the spiritual leaders of their wives in an ideal Godly family.

But you need to know that your situation is not unique to you amongst those whom God has drawn to our Bible conferences. There are many more who are in just the same situation. One mate sees the deep spiritual truths of God's Word, and the other does not. It is very common to be where you are. I give the same advice to them all. Do not try to force your mate to eat your meat. Neither should you allow your mate to turn you away from serving your Lord. Never miss an opportunity to gather together with and have a meal with your extended families. But being there does not necessitate that God's elect participate in the pagan rituals of the pagan holidays. Stand your ground just as the Adversary stands his ground.

Here is a verse of scripture which is often used to justify keeping pagan holidays and calling that keeping of pagan holidays the "meat of God's Word:"
1 Cor 10:23  All things are lawful for me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but all things edify not.
1 Cor 10:24  Let no man seek his own, but every man another's [wealth].
1 Cor 10:25  Whatsoever is sold in the shambles, [that] eat, asking no question for conscience sake:
1 Cor 10:26  For the earth [is] the Lord's, and the fulness thereof.
The "all things are lawful for me" is emphasized to the exclusion of the rest of the verse: "but all things are not expedient:" What is Paul driving at? Is he telling the Corinthians that pagan idols are of such little significance as to be ignored? Or is he telling them to be careful not to give occasion to weak brothers who might take up pagan ways? Well, just look at the verses preceding these verses. They are very revealing as to what Paul meant by "all things are not expedient:"
1 Cor 10:14  Wherefore, my dearly beloved, flee from idolatry .
1 Cor 10:15  I speak as to wise men; judge ye what I say.
1 Cor 10:16  The cup of blessing which we bless, is it not the communion of the blood of Christ? The bread which we break, is it not the communion of the body of Christ?
1 Cor 10:17  For we being many are one bread, and one body: for we are all partakers of that one bread.
1 Cor 10:18  Behold Israel after the flesh: are not they which eat of the sacrifices partakers of the altar?
1 Cor 10:19  What say I then? that the idol is any thing, or that which is offered in sacrifice to idols is any thing?
1 Cor 10:20  But I say, that the things which the Gentiles sacrifice, they sacrifice to devils, and not to God: and I would not that ye should have fellowship with devils.
1 Cor 10:21  Ye cannot drink the cup of the Lord, and the cup of devils: ye cannot be partakers of the Lord's table, and of the table of devils.
1 Cor 10:22  Do we provoke the Lord to jealousy? are we stronger than he
"Flee Idolatry... Do we provoke the Lord to jealousy? Are we stronger than He? You cannot drink the cup of the Lord and the cup of devils." Does any of that sound as if Paul took pagan ways and customs as a light thing?

Let's look once more at how Paul approaches this subject as it regards believing spouses who are married to unbelieving spouses.
1 Cor 7:12  But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.
1 Cor 7:13  And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not , and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him .
1 Cor 7:14  For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
1 Cor 7:15  But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
"If she be pleased to dwell with Him... If he be pleased to dwell with her." What is understood in these two situations is that the believer remains a believer. What is understood is that he believing mate is not about to compromise his or here faith. If with that understanding, the unbelieving spouse, male or female, is pleased to dwell with the believing spouse, let neither of them depart. If on the other hand the unbelieving spouse cannot accommodate the faith of the believing spouse, then it is the unbelieving spouse who decides to leave: "
1 Cor 7:15  But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
God has promised that the believing spouse will be the one to save the unbelieving spouse, just as Joseph saved his unbelieving brothers. It is not promised to be in this age, but it is promised to happen when God has ordained it to happen.
1 Cor 7:16  For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?
1 Cor 7:17  But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches.
1 Cor 7:18  Is any man called being circumcised? let him not become uncircumcised. Is any called in uncircumcision? let him not be circumcised.
1 Cor 7:19  Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but the keeping of the commandments of God [is everything].
Rituals are nothing. Keeping the commandments of God is everything. What are those commandments in regards to observing of holidays in both the Old and the New Testaments? For those to whom obedience matters here is what the scriptures teach in both the Old and the New Testaments:
Old:

Deut 12:28  Observe and hear all these words which I command thee, that it may go well with thee, and with thy children after thee for ever, when thou doest [that which is] good and right in the sight of the LORD thy God.
Deut 12:29  When the LORD thy God shall cut off the nations from before thee, whither thou goest to possess them, and thou succeedest them, and dwellest in their land;
Deut 12:30  Take heed to thyself that thou be not snared by following them, after that they be destroyed from before thee; and that thou enquire not after their gods, saying, How did these nations serve their gods? even so will I do likewise.
Deut 12:31  Thou shalt not do so unto the LORD thy God: for every abomination to the LORD, which he hateth, have they done unto their gods; for even their sons and their daughters they have burnt in the fire to their gods.
Deut 12:32  What thing soever I command you, observe to do it: thou shalt not add thereto, nor diminish from it.
The New Testament:
Gal 4:9  But now, after that ye have known God, or rather are known of God, how turn ye again to the weak and beggarly elements, whereunto ye desire again to be in bondage?
Gal 4:10  Ye observe days, and months, and times, and years.
Gal 4:11  I am afraid of you, lest I have bestowed upon you labour in vain.
Why would not Paul fear keeping pagan holidays if Jewish "days, months, times and years" indicated to him that the Galatians were losing their faith in the words of Christ? How can we read what Paul says to the Galatians and surmise that the "meat" he speaks of in Romans 14 is the going along with observing pagan holidays.

The reason I do not keep pagan holidays is the same reason I do not dress in drag. It may indeed be lawful to dress like a woman if there were a circumstance that made it expedient to be covered in women's clothes. But what kind of a testimony would that be to do so when it was not expedient? It isn't uncommon for women today to discover that they are married to a man who is a cross dresser. What should be done in that case? Both cross dressing and pagan holidays are forbidden by God:

Deut 22:5  The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God.
Paul's statement that he became all things to all men was never intended to justify permitting either physical or spiritual homosexuality in our homes and around our children. As overseers of God's flock we must "be vigilant" to keep "the Lord's table" pure of defilement.  Let's look at Paul's statement that he was "made all things to all men."
1 Cor 9:19  For though I be free from all men, yet have I made myself servant unto all, that I might gain the more.
1 Cor 9:20  And unto the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might gain the Jews; to them that are under the law, as under the law, that I might gain them that are under the law;
1 Cor 9:21  To them that are without law, as without law, ( being not without law to God, but under the law to Christ,) that I might gain them that are without law.
1 Cor 9:22  To the weak became I as weak, that I might gain the weak: I am made all things to all [men], that I might by all means save some.
1 Cor 9:23  And this I do for the gospel's sake, that I might be partaker thereof with [you].
1 Cor 9:24  Know ye not that they which run in a race run all, but one receiveth the prize? So run, that ye may obtain.
1 Cor 9:25  And every man that striveth for the mastery is temperate in all things. Now they do it [exercise discipline and self control] to obtain a corruptible crown; but we an incorruptible.
The very first thing Paul tells us is that "I made myself servant unto all." He then lists four things to which he became a servant:
1 Cor 9:20  And unto the  [1] Jews I became as a Jew, that I might gain the Jews; to [2] them that are under the law, as under the law, that I might gain them that are under the law;
1 Cor 9:21  To them that are [3] without law, as without law, (being not without law to God, but under the law to Christ,) that I might gain them that are without law.
1 Cor 9:22  To the [4] weak became I as weak, that I might gain the weak: I am made all things to all [men], that I might by all means save some.
Paul became as a Jew to the Jews, as under the law to them that were under the law, as without law to those without law and as weak to the weak. Is Paul saying that he became a Jew, became a law keeper, and was at the same time not a law keeper and was weak in the faith? No, Paul never took leave of his Christian principles as he demonstrated when he confronted Peter and Barnabas and all the other Jews who separated themselves from the Gentiles at Antioch.
Gal 2:11  But when Peter was come to Antioch, I withstood him to the face, because he was to be blamed.
Gal 2:12  For before that certain came from James, he did eat with the Gentiles: but when they were come, he withdrew and separated himself, fearing them which were of the circumcision.
Gal 2:13  And the other Jews dissembled likewise with him; insomuch that Barnabas also was carried away with their dissimulation.
Gal 2:14  But when I saw that they walked not uprightly according to the truth of the gospel, I said unto Peter before [them] all, If thou, being a Jew, livest after the manner of Gentiles, and not as do the Jews, why compellest thou the Gentiles to live as do the Jews?
'Dissimulation' is another word for hypocrisy. "Becoming all things to all men" is not an endorsement by the apostle Paul for all of us to become hypocrites. Paul was anything but a manpleaser:
Gal 1:10  For do I now persuade men, or God? or do I seek to please men? for if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ.
Christians who think that standing out from the crowd is unnecessary have not a clue as to what "hated of all men" is all about. It is not just about "loving your enemies." We are hated of all men "for my name's sake." And "for my name's sake" is for Christ's doctrine.
2 John 1:9  Whosoever transgresseth, and abideth not in the doctrine of Christ, hath not God. He that abideth in the doctrine of Christ, he hath both the Father and the Son.
2 John 1:10  If there come any unto you, and bring not this doctrine , receive him not into your [spiritual] house, neither bid him God speed:
2 John 1:11  For he that biddeth him God speed is partaker of his evil deeds.
Few verses in scripture are as hated as these verses. It is detestable to those in Babylon when anyone sees fit to abide in that doctrine of Christ. Coming out of Babylon will not be tolerated by those who are Babylon and her daughters.

'Coming out of Babylon' is far more spiritual than it is literal. We often think that because we have stopped attending a denominational church, that we have "come out of Babylon." But that is nothing more that a first step. Coming out of Babylon has much more to do with getting all the false doctrines and "days, months, times and years" out of our minds and hearts, than it has to do with coming out of a physical building. Look at how Babylon is described in Revelation 18:
Rev 18:1  And after these things I saw another angel come down from heaven, having great power; and the earth  [those who come out of Babylon - Jer. 22:29] was lightened with his glory.
Rev 18:2  And he cried mightily with a strong voice, saying, Babylon the great is fallen, is fallen, and is become the habitation of devils, and the hold of every foul spirit, and a cage of every unclean and hateful bird.
Rev 18:3  For all nations have drunk of the wine of the wrath of her fornication, and the kings of the earth have committed fornication with her, and the merchants of the earth are waxed rich through the abundance of her delicacies.
Rev 18:4  And I heard another voice from heaven, saying, Come out of her, my people, that ye be not partakers of her sins, and that ye receive not of her plagues.
Rev 18:5  For her sins have reached unto heaven , and God hath remembered her iniquities.
Babylon is the church system and its doctrines within each of God's elect. The "nations...kings...and merchants" are all within each of us. The fact that "Babylon the great is fallen" is simply acknowledging that God's elect have come to see that Babylon is within each of us. Here is this same statement put in another way:
Eph 2:1  And you hath he quickened, who were dead in trespasses and sins;
Eph 2:2  Wherein in time past ye walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience:
Eph 2:3  Among whom [children of disobedience] also we all had our conversation in times past in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind; and were by nature the children of wrath, even as others.
It is not people who say Lord, Lord, who will enter the kingdom of God, it will be those who keep His commandments:
Matt 7:21  Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.
Again, what is the commandment of the Lord in regards to observing pagan holidays and Jewish holidays? Every scribe instructed unto the kingdom of heaven brings forth out of his treasures thing new and old:

New Testament:
Gal 4:10  Ye observe days, and months, and times, and years.
Gal 4:11  I am afraid of you, lest I have bestowed upon you labour in vain .
Old Testament:
Deut 12:28  Observe and hear all these words which I command thee, that it may go well with thee, and with thy children after thee for ever, when thou doest that which is good and right in the sight of the LORD thy God.
Deut 12:29  When the LORD thy God shall cut off the nations from before thee, whither thou goest to possess them, and thou succeedest them, and dwellest in their land;
Deut 12:30  Take heed to thyself that thou be not snared by following them, after that they be destroyed from before thee; and that thou enquire not after their gods, saying, How did these nations serve their gods? even so will I do likewise.
Deut 12:31  Thou shalt not do so unto the LORD thy God: for every abomination to the LORD, which he hateth, have they done unto their gods; for even their sons and their daughters they have burnt in the fire to their gods.
Deut 12:32  What thing soever I command you, observe to do it: thou shalt not add thereto, nor diminish from it.
"You shall not do so unto the Lord your God..."

That is "the will of my Father"  according to the Old and New Testaments, on this particular subject.

You also say:

"I see people who don't participate in pagan customs (JW's & CGG) and it really seems like the way they refuse to eat (physical) food that has to do with these days gives more glory to the day than it detracts.  If we shouldn't keep days and months and so forth then why do we even acknowledge them at all?  Why do we see it as a pagan day in the first place?   Aren't we still esteeming these days by even acknowledging them as anything more than a day of the week, month or year?  I don't go out of my way in a department store to avoid walking near a Christmas tree, I don't start getting scared of eggs during the Easter season, I don't refuse to touch pumpkins in October.  Why then should I, as a "mature" (if you can even call me that) son of God, not be able to eat a meal on a day that was once designated as a pagan day, by pagans, who are pagan?"

It is not you who is acknowledging these days, months, times and years." It is the non-believer who gets up before dawn on Easter Sunday to go watch the sun come up:
Eze 8:14  Then he brought me to the door of the gate of the LORD'S house which [was] toward the north; and, behold, there sat women weeping for Tammuz.
Eze 8:15  Then said he unto me, Hast thou seen this, O son of man? turn thee yet again, [and] thou shalt see greater abominations than these.
Eze 8:16  And he brought me into the inner court of the LORD'S house, and, behold, at the door of the temple of the LORD, between the porch and the altar, [were] about five and twenty men, with their backs toward the temple of the LORD, and their faces toward the east; and they worshipped the sun toward the east.
Eze 8:17  Then he said unto me, Hast thou seen this, O son of man? Is it a light thing to the house of Judah that they commit the abominations which they commit here? for they have filled the land with violence, and have returned to provoke me to anger: and, lo, they put the branch to their nose.
"They...have returned to provoke me to anger" or as Paul puts it:
1 Cor 10:22  Do we provoke the Lord to jealousy? are we stronger than he?
And this question is posed in the very chapter which is so often quoted to justify accommodating those who insist on keeping pagan holidays. Here is the verse so often misapplied:
1 Cor 10:23  All things are lawful for me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but all things edify not.
"All things are lawful for me" is quoted as if "all things are not expedient" were not the very next words."

I do not know what you read in the letter you reference above that would have led you to think that you should "go into your bedroom and shut the door at mealtime." Being the believing head of the house necessitates that your unbelieving spouse should be the one who does any "departing" that might be done. It should be the unbelieving spouse who is leaving the room if there is any leaving to be done.

You are right, you cannot dominate your wife's faith. You cannot drag your wife to Christ. But does this mean that your wife can dominate your faith and the faith of your children? Eat meals with your wife and your family even during pagan holidays, but do not ignore this truth:
Matt 10:34  Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matt 10:35  For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and
 the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matt 10:36  And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
Matt 10:37  He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.
Matt 10:38  And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me .
Matt 10:39  He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.
Matt 10:40  He that receiveth you receiveth me, and he that receiveth me receiveth him that sent me.
So if peace in the family means more to you than the cross of Christ, then that too, is the sovereign work of God. You are asking me what you should do at Christmas and Easter and I would suppose at Halloween? The answer is:
1 Cor 10:31  Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.
If you can allow your wife to take the lead in your home and teach your children to observe Christmas and Easter just as the Canaanites did in the days of Moses and Joshua, and if you can convince yourself that you are doing this to glorify God, then that is what you need to do. That is what has been done with this verse here in 1 Cor. 10.
1 Cor 10:31  Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God. 1 Cor 10:32  Give none offence, neither to the Jews, nor to the Gentiles, nor to the church of God:
1 Cor 10:33  Even as I please all [men] in all [things], not seeking mine own profit, but the [profit] of many, that they may be saved.
Verse 32 is used to nullify verse 31. And verse 33 is used to nullify this verse:
Gal 1:9  As we said before, so say I now again, If any man preach any other gospel unto you than that ye have received, let him be accursed.
Gal 1:10  For do I now persuade men, or God? or do I seek to please men? for if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ.
Does Galatians 1:9-10 sound like Paul was teaching that we should "please all men in all things?" Does he not say "If I yet please men, I should not be the servant of Christ." No, the word 'men' is not to be found in the 33rd verse of 1 Cor. 10. The whole chapter is a warning against such an attitude. Look at the preceding verses:
1 Cor 10:28  But if any man say unto you, This is offered in sacrifice unto idols, eat not for his sake that shewed it, and for conscience sake: for the earth [is] the Lord's, and the fulness thereof:
1 Cor 10:29  Conscience, I say, not thine own, but of the other: for why is my liberty judged of another [man's] conscience?
1 Cor 10:30  For if I by grace be a partaker, why am I evil spoken of for that for which I give thanks?
1 Cor 10:31  Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.
Pay close attention to the Words of God. "If any man say unto you, 'this is offered in sacrifice unto idols', eat not for his sake that showed it..." But wait, are we not being told that eating meat offered to idols does not matter one way or the other? Yes indeed, that is what Babylon wants us to believe. But that is not what scripture teaches. What scripture really teaches is that the actions of the believer must be expedient in the eyes of the unbeliever. What the scriptures really teach is that if a weak brother sees me eating meat offered to an idol, he will be emboldened to eat meat offered to an idol:
1 Cor 8:8  But meat commendeth us not to God: for neither, if we eat, are we the better; neither, if we eat not, are we the worse.
1 Cor 8:9  But take heed lest by any means this liberty of yours become a stumblingblock to them that are weak.
1 Cor 8:10  For if any man see thee which hast knowledge sit at meat in the idol's temple, shall not the conscience of him which is weak be emboldened to eat those things which are offered to idols;
Let's leave out the added bracketed words and reread 1 Cor. 10:33:
1 Cor 10:33  Even as I please all in all , not seeking mine own profit, but the [profit] of many, that they may be saved.
What "profits many" and what "gives none offence, neither to the Jews, nor to the Gentiles nor to the church of God?"  Here it is. This is what gives none offence neither to the Jews, nor to the Gentiles nor to the church of God:"
Deut 12:28  Observe and hear all these words which I command thee, that it may go well with thee, and with thy children after thee for ever, when thou doest [that which is] good and right in the sight of the LORD thy God.
Deut 12:29  When the LORD thy God shall cut off the nations from before thee, whither thou goest to possess them, and thou succeedest them, and dwellest in their land;
Deut 12:30  Take heed to thyself that thou be not snared by following them, after that they be destroyed from before thee; and that thou enquire not after their gods, saying, How did these nations serve their gods? even so will I do likewise.
Deut 12:31  Thou shalt not do so unto the LORD thy God: for every abomination to the LORD, which he hateth, have they done unto their gods; for even their sons and their daughters they have burnt in the fire to their gods.
Deut 12:32  What thing soever I command you, observe to do it: thou shalt not add thereto, nor diminish from it.
Gal 4:9  But now, after that ye have known God, or rather are known of God, how turn ye again to the weak and beggarly elements, whereunto ye desire again to be in bondage?
Gal 4:10  Ye observe days, and months, and times, and years.
In both cases so very much progress has been made, and still God's own people want to "return to the weak and beggarly elements." They have come so very far, and it is then that the ways of the heathen just don't seem like that big of a deal. After all you are doing them to your God, not to some pagan god. And with the same mind, the same mouth you declare that you are not doing these pagan rituals to your God. You cannot have it both ways. Either you are "doing all you do to the glory of God" or  you are doing it for some other reason. Neither are in obedience to the commandments of either the Old or the New Testaments.

Gal 4:10  Ye observe days, and months, and times, and years.
Gal 4:11  I am afraid of you, lest I have bestowed upon you labour in vain.
Go and eat with your wife and family. Do not be afraid of their physical food. But do not partake of their spiritual food in the form of their pagan rituals. Is that in any way at all dominating your wife's faith if you are faithful to what you know to be the Truth of God's Word?

1 Corinthians 10 is a whole chapter which is listing the rebellions of Israel against her husband and telling us not to do the same, and we turn this chapter into an excuse to ignore the words of our spiritual husband so as to justify allowing our physical circumstances or society, to become our leader in things pertaining to how our lives and the lives of our children are led. When children see believing husbands allowing our unbelieving mates to take the lead and to set the agenda, they see a father who is saying that what God's Word says is not as important as what Mom says.

"Thou shalt not do so unto the Lord thy God" regarding  the ways of the heathen who are driven out is no different than "Thou shalt not commit adultery." Both are physical actions which belie a spiritual condition. We cannot commit physical adultery and claim to be the children of God. Neither can we ignore God's Words about the adultery of the nation of Israel and their adulterous actions in adopting the ways of the heathen they have driven out. Neither can we ignore the words of the New Testament that we are to "eat not" meat offered to idols if we are told, and we know that it is offered to an idol. It may indeed be lawful for you to eat it because you are aware that the idol is nothing, but because you have been informed that this is meat offered to an idol, it is not expedient that you eat meat offered to an idol because it will embolden your brother to go ahead and eat it just to keep from being different. For the sake of weaker brothers, God's children cannot act as though Galatians 4:10 is not there in God's Word:
Gal 4:7  Wherefore thou art no more a servant, but a son; and if a son, then an heir of God through Christ.
Gal 4:8  Howbeit then, when ye knew not God, ye did service unto them which by nature are no gods.
Gal 4:9  But now, after that ye have known God, or rather are known of God, how turn ye again to the weak and beggarly elements, whereunto ye desire again to be in bondage?
Gal 4:10  Ye observe days, and months, and times, and years.
Gal 4:11  I am afraid of you, lest I have bestowed upon you labour in vain.
Galatians was written by Paul. This is the same Paul who wrote Romans 14 and 1 Corinthians chapters 8 and 10. Now let's look at the verses which are used to turn the meat of God's Word into herbs and eating of spiritual herbs by babes into eating meat.  Let's take a close look at verses which are used by those who can't stand up to their spouses, family members and society, but they have no problem withstanding the plain words of scripture.  Let's start with Romans fourteen first.
Rom 14:1  Him that is weak in the faith receive ye, but not to doubtful disputations.
Rom 14:2  For one believeth that he may eat all things: another, who is weak, eateth herbs.
Who is this brother who is "weak in the faith and can eat only herbs?" According to this same apostle, this brother is the one who feels compelled to accommodate his mate and the whole Christian world by "observing days, months, times and years."
Gal 4:9  But now, after that ye have known God, or rather are known of God, how turn ye again to the weak and beggarly elements, whereunto ye desire again to be in bondage?
Gal 4:10  Ye observe days, and months, and times, and years.
Gal 4:11  I am afraid of you, lest I have bestowed upon you labour in vain.
"Bondage" is the act of being dictated to by church traditions and by society that you must have a tree, lights, a wreath, a nativity scene, spend money for gifts, be careful not to appear to favor one family member or friend above another, be careful not to forget anyone, etc. etc. as you observe this pagan ritual, along with Easter, Valentine's Day, Halloween, etc.; this is the "bondage" of "days, months, times and years" to which Paul refers. It matters not that Paul is actually referring to Jewish holy days; they too, are days, months, times and years.

It is the observance of "days, months, times and years...the weak and beggarly elements" which identify the "weak...herb eating" brother. It is not vice versa. It is much easier to cave in to the pressures of family, and friends and society, and "observe the pagan holidays or the days, months, times and years" of Judaism, than it is to be careful not to "partake of the table of devils."
1 Cor 10:19  What say I then? that the idol is any thing, or that which is offered in sacrifice to idols is any thing?
1 Cor 10:20  But I say, that the things which the Gentiles [Babylon] sacrifice, they sacrifice to devils, and not to God: and I would not that ye should have fellowship with devils.
1 Cor 10:21  Ye cannot drink the cup of the Lord, and the cup of devils: ye cannot be partakers of the Lord's table, and of the table of devils.
1 Cor 10:22  Do we provoke the Lord to jealousy? are we stronger than he?
The "idol" is the false doctrine. The "things offered to idols" is the doctrine that obedience to God and the rejection of false doctrines" is self-righteous herbs. Nothing could be farther from the Truth. It is the meat eater who tells the herb eater:
Gal 4:10  Ye observe days, and months, and times, and years.
Gal 4:11  I am afraid of you, lest I have bestowed upon you labour in vain.
It takes a strong brother to point out that Paul says:
1 Cor 10:28  But if any man say unto you, This is offered in sacrifice unto idols, eat not for his sake that shewed it, and for conscience sake: for the earth [is] the Lord's, and the fulness thereof:
"Eat not" that which you know "is offered in sacrifice to an idol" is the admonition of God's Word. Why is the strong brother told "eat not meat offered to an idol?" It is because doing so would embolden the herb eating, weak brother who observes days, months, times and years, to eat meat offered to an idol:
1 Cor 8:10  For if any man see thee which hast knowledge sit at meat in the idol's temple, shall not the conscience of him which is weak be emboldened to eat those things which are offered to idols;
What is offered in sacrifice to idols in today's society? It is the insidious celebration of pagan rituals as an innocent and harmless way in which the nations which have been cast out of our land worshiped their Gods. It is forgetting that we are told not to commit adultery against our spiritual mate, Christ.  It is forgetting that we are told not to ask how the nations served their gods so we can adopt such observances in worship to our God who has delivered us from such "weak and beggarly elements." When we allow our wives to take over the leadership in our homes and teach our sons and daughters to observe pagan rituals claiming that we are doing so "to the glory of God", we have forgotten and ignored the Words of our Lord which told us that such things are not to be done to him:
Deut 12:30  Take heed to thyself that thou be not snared by following them, after that they be destroyed from before thee; and that thou enquire not after their gods, saying, How did these nations serve their gods? even so will I do likewise.
Deut 12:31  Thou shalt not do so unto the LORD thy God: for every abomination to the LORD, which he hateth, have they done unto their gods; for even their sons and their daughters they have burnt in the fire to their gods.
Now who do the scriptures teach us is the most apt to judge his brother? Is it the brother who is so strong in the faith that he can "eat all things" and observe and do all that Christ and His word commands us, or is it the brother "who is weak and [who] eats herbs" and "observes days, months, times and years?" Is it not the brother in Christ who is not yet able to bear the rejection that obedience to Christ's doctrine invariably necessitates? Yes, according to Romans 14, it is the weak brother who cannot eat spiritual meat, who wants to go back to the weak and beggarly elements of "observing day, months, times and years" who tends to do all the judging:
Rom 14:1  Him that is weak in the faith receive ye, [but] not to doubtful disputations.
Rom 14:2  For one believeth that he may eat all things: another, who is weak ["observes days, months, times and years" - Gal. 4:10], eateth herbs.
Rom 14:3  Let not him that eateth despise him that eateth not; and let not him which eateth not judge him that eateth: for God hath received him.
Rom 14:4  Who art thou [weak in the faith brother] that judgest another man's servant? to his own master he standeth or falleth. Yea, he [the strong brother who does not observe days, months, times and years] shall be holden up: for God is able to make him stand.
If there is anything we should learn from Christ's and Paul's examples, it is that the closer we get to God, the more cut off we are from this world:
John 6:63  It is the spirit that quickeneth; the flesh profiteth nothing: the words that I speak unto you, they are spirit, and[they are life  [and they do not stop with the four gospels].
John 6:64  But there are some of you that believe not. For Jesus knew from the beginning who they were that believed not, and who should betray him.
John 6:65  And he said, Therefore said I unto you, that no man can come unto me, except it were given unto him of my Father.
John 6:66  From that time many of his disciples went back, and walked no more with him .

2 Tim 1:15  This thou knowest, that all they which are in Asia be turned away from me; of whom are Phygellus and Hermogenes.
One reason for this was the fact that Paul taught the meat of God's Word which was:
Gal 4:7  Wherefore thou art no more a servant ["the heir" [who remains as an immature] "babe in Christ," a weak brother who is still only able to eat herbs], but a [mature] son; and if a son, then an heir of God through Christ.
Gal 4:8  Howbeit then, when ye knew not God, ye did service unto them which by nature are no gods [observing days, months, times, and years].
Gal 4:9  But now, after that ye have known God, or rather are known of God, how turn ye again to the weak and beggarly elements, whereunto ye desire again to be in bondage?
Gal 4:10  Ye observe days, and months, and times, and years.
Gal 4:11  I am afraid of you, lest I have bestowed upon you labour in vain.
2 Timothy 1:15 is late in Paul's career just as it was late in Christ's ministry when so many "turned back and walked no more with Him." Strong meat is for the few. Observing pagan holidays is for "another who is weak in the faith who eats only herbs." Pagan holidays are clearly observed by the 'many.'  Just because certain cults obey God's Words on this subject is no reason to ignore God's plain statements that we are not to serve him as the heathen served their gods.

Nevertheless according to the scriptures "whatsoever is not of faith is sin." According to scripture "the strong should bear the infirmities of the weak." According to scriptures the strong meat eating brothers ought not despise those who cannot yet bear the strong, hard to digest, doctrines of Christ. And according to scripture, the weak herb eating brothers ought not judge those who can and do go all the way with God, even while being accused by their herb eating brothers of being self-righteous, elitist and unloving.
Rom 14:3  Let not him that eateth despise him that eateth not; and let not him which eateth not judge him that eateth: for God hath received him.
"God has received him which eats not" as a "babe in Christ" who is not yet mature enough to eat meat. He cannot yet bear the rejection of society which total commitment to Christ entails and necessitates.
Rom 14:4  Who art thou [weaker brother] that judgest another man's servant [who can eat all things]? to his own master he standeth or falleth. Yea, he shall [the spiritually strong] be holden up: for God is able to make him stand.
1 Cor 10:28  But if any man say unto you, This is offered in sacrifice unto idols, eat not for his sake that shewed it, and for conscience sake: for the earth [is] the Lord's, and the fulness thereof:
If a brother is so immature as to feel the need to tell you that the meat you are eating is offered to an idol, then the last thing in the world you need to do is to act as if it doesn't matter. Not because it does matter, but because a weak, herb eating brother honestly believes that it does matter. It is for the sake of those who cannot accept the meat of God's word that we "eat not for his sake that shewed it and for the sake of his conscience that showed it." It is also expedient that brothers who know that pagan holidays are "offered to idols" "eat it not" for his sake that knows it and for the conscience of all who others who also know better than to eat meat offered to an idol.
Rom 14:12  So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God.
Rom 14:13  Let us not therefore judge one another any more: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumblingblock or an occasion to fall in [his] brother's way. [By eating meat offered to idols in the presence of a weak brother: By observing pagan holidays in the presence of our own immature children and weak brothers]
Rom 14:14  I know, and am persuaded by the Lord Jesus, that [there is] nothing unclean of itself: but to him that esteemeth any thing to be unclean, to him [it is] unclean.
Rom 14:15  But if thy brother be grieved with thy meat [which he told you was offered to an idol], now walkest thou not charitably. Destroy not him with thy meat, for whom Christ died.
Rom 14:3  Let not him that eateth despise him that eateth not; and let not him which eateth not judge him that eateth: for God hath received him.
Rom 14:4  Who art thou [weaker brother] that judgest another man's servant [who can eat all things]? to his own master he standeth or falleth. Yea, he shall be holden up: for God is able to make him stand.
Does God's Word teach us to force our mate or friends or families to eat our hard to receive meat? Absolutely not! Sin is a matter of "whatsoever is not of faith" be it 'strong meat' or 'herbs.' We are not all at the same stage of maturity, and we must allow for that fact:
Rom 14:5  One man esteemeth one day above another: another esteemeth every day [alike]. Let every man be fully persuaded in his own mind.
Rom 14:6  He that regardeth the day, regardeth it unto the Lord; and he that regardeth not the day, to the Lord he doth not regard [it]. He that eateth, eateth to the Lord, for he giveth God thanks; and he that eateth not, to the Lord he eateth not, and giveth God thanks.
Again, the one "who can eat all things" is the strong brother who "eats not" because he knows this has been offered to idols."
1 Cor 10:28  But if any man say unto you, This is offered in sacrifice unto idols, eat not for his sake that shewed it, and for conscience sake: for the earth [is] the Lord's, and the fulness thereof:
Rom 14:7  For none of us liveth to himself, and no man dieth to himself.
Rom 14:8  For whether we live, we live unto the Lord; and whether we die, we die unto the Lord: whether we live therefore, or die, we are the Lord's.
Rom 14:9  For to this end Christ both died, and rose, and revived, that he might be Lord both of the dead and living.
Rom 14:10  But why dost thou judge thy brother? or why dost thou set at nought thy brother? for we shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ.
Rom 14:11  For it is written, [As] I live, saith the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God.
Rom 14:12  So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God .
Rom 14:13  Let us not therefore judge one another any more: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumblingblock or an occasion to fall in [his] brother's way.
Rom 14:14  I know, and am persuaded by the Lord Jesus, that there is nothing unclean of itself: but to him that esteemeth any thing to be unclean, to him [it is] unclean.
Rom 14:15  But if thy brother be grieved with thy meat [offered to  idols], now walkest thou not charitably. Destroy not him with thy meat, for whom Christ died.
Rom 14:16  Let not then your good be evil spoken of:
Rom 14:17  For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost.
Rom 14:18  For he that in these things serveth Christ is acceptable to God, and approved of men.
Rom 14:19  Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another.[Obeying God's Words]
Rom 14:20  For meat destroy not the work of God. All things indeed [are] pure; but [it is] evil for that man who eateth [meat offered to idols] with offence.
Rom 14:21  [It is] good neither to eat flesh, nor to drink wine, nor [any thing] whereby thy brother stumbleth, or is offended, or is made weak.
Rom 14:22  Hast thou faith? have [it] to thyself before God. Happy [is] he that condemneth not himself in that thing which he alloweth.
Rom 14:23  And he that doubteth is damned if he eat, because he eateth not of faith: for whatsoever is not of faith is sin.
Nowhere in this chapter is the weak brother ordered to advance to maturity. Nowhere is the strong brother encouraged to give up his strong meat for herbs. What both parties are admonished to do is to neither despise or judge each other.
1 Cor 10:1  Moreover, brethren, I would not that ye should be ignorant, how that all our fathers were under the cloud, and all passed through the sea;
1 Cor 10:2  And were all baptized unto Moses in the cloud and in the sea;
1 Cor 10:3  And did all eat the same spiritual meat;
1 Cor 10:4  And did all drink the same spiritual drink: for they drank of that spiritual Rock that followed them: and that Rock was Christ.
1 Cor 10:5  But with many of them God was not well pleased: for they were overthrown in the wilderness.
1 Cor 10:6  Now these things were our examples, to the intent we should not lust after evil things, as they also lusted.
1 Cor 10:7  Neither be ye idolaters, as [were] some of them; as it is written, The people sat down to eat and drink, and rose up to play.
1 Cor 10:8  Neither let us commit fornication, as some of them committed, and fell in one day three and twenty thousand.
1 Cor 10:9  Neither let us tempt Christ, as some of them also tempted, and were destroyed of serpents.
1 Cor 10:10  Neither murmur ye, as some of them also murmured, and were destroyed of the destroyer.
1 Cor 10:11  Now all these things happened unto them for ensamples: and they are written for our admonition, upon whom the ends of the world are come.
1 Cor 10:12  Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall.
1 Cor 10:13  There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God [is] faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear [it].
1 Cor 10:14  Wherefore, my dearly beloved, flee from idolatry.
1 Cor 10:15  I speak as to wise men; judge ye what I say.
1 Cor 10:16  The cup of blessing which we bless, is it not the communion of the blood of Christ? The bread which we break, is it not the communion of the body of Christ?
1 Cor 10:17  For we [being] many are one bread, [and] one body: for we are all partakers of that one bread.
1 Cor 10:18  Behold Israel after the flesh: are not they which eat of the sacrifices partakers of the altar?
1 Cor 10:19  What say I then? that the idol is any thing, or that which is offered in sacrifice to idols is any thing?
1 Cor 10:20  But I [say], that the things which the Gentiles sacrifice, they sacrifice to devils, and not to God: and I would not that ye should have fellowship with devils.
1 Cor 10:21  Ye cannot drink the cup of the Lord, and the cup of devils: ye cannot be partakers of the Lord's table, and of the table of devils.
1 Cor 10:22  Do we provoke the Lord to jealousy? are we stronger than he?
1 Cor 10:23  All things are lawful for me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but all things edify not.
1 Cor 10:24  Let no man seek his own, but every man another's [wealth].
1 Cor 10:25  Whatsoever is sold in the shambles, [that] eat, asking no question for conscience sake:
1 Cor 10:26  For the earth [is] the Lord's, and the fulness thereof.
1 Cor 10:27  If any of them that believe not bid you [to a feast], and ye be disposed to go; whatsoever is set before you, eat, asking no question for conscience sake.
1 Cor 10:28  But if any man say unto you, This is offered in sacrifice unto idols, eat not for his sake that shewed it, and for conscience sake: for the earth [is] the Lord's, and the fulness thereof:
1 Cor 10:29  Conscience, I say, not thine own, but of the other: for why is my liberty judged of another [man's] conscience?
1 Cor 10:30  For if I by grace be a partaker, why am I evil spoken of for that for which I give thanks?
1 Cor 10:31  Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.
"If any of them that believe not bid you to a feast, and ye be disposed to go; whatsoever is set before you, eat, asking no question for conscience sake" proves that there is nothing wrong with eating a meal at a family function. What it does not prove is that you are now able to participate in the pagan rituals that often accompany such a feast. We can be disposed to go to see and to meet family and friends who may never be seen again. Being friends with the family does not necessitate partaking of their pagan rituals "to the glory of God."
Deut 12:28  Observe and hear all these words which I command thee, that it may go well with thee, and with thy children after thee for ever, when thou doest [that which is] good and right in the sight of the LORD thy God.
Deut 12:29  When the LORD thy God shall cut off the nations from before thee, whither thou goest to possess them, and thou succeedest them, and dwellest in their land;
Deut 12:30  Take heed to thyself that thou be not snared by following them, after that they be destroyed from before thee; and that thou enquire not after their gods, saying, How did these nations serve their gods? even so will I do likewise.
Deut 12:31  Thou shalt not do so unto the LORD thy God: for every abomination to the LORD, which he hateth, have they done unto their gods; for even their sons and their daughters they have burnt in the fire to their gods.
Deut 12:32  What thing soever I command you, observe to do it: thou shalt not add thereto, nor diminish from it.
No, your wife is not to be the leader in your home. You cannot and should not try to force her to see or to do anything she cannot do in good conscience. But that does not mean that you "go into the bedroom and close the door" while your wife and children run the affairs of  your home. What you do is sit down with your wife and show her what God's Word says about Christmas and Easter. No, she will not likely see how the whole world can be wrong, but that is why "you shall be hated of all men?" Do we think that "I have come to set father against son" simply means that one or the other of the mates does not believe in loving their enemies?  No, it includes much more than on single doctrine. It includes the sum of God's Word. Both the Old and the New.

We are all in this process together, so don't even concern yourself with how carnal or how mature you may appear. You are exactly where God wants you to be at this moment. The same thing is true for us all.

I hope this has helped you to see what the scriptures reveal is expected of all who find themselves in your situation. Ruling and reigning with Christ and not being hurt of the second death is what is at stake.

You are not alone, rather your situation is what is most common in our fellowship. Above all I pray that God will strengthen you to "take up your cross and follow Christ" in the face of all odds and all opposition.

Your brother in Christ,

Mike